


Until I wrap myself inside your arms (I cannot rest)

by sarcastic_fina



Series: If I Were A Better Man [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, au - felicity and oliver knew each other before the island, season one rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:35:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastic_fina/pseuds/sarcastic_fina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver Queen has returned from an island of purgatory to avenge a city in need of justice. Finding balance in his life is made all the more difficult with a book of names to strike off and a remarkable woman to re-convince he's worth her time. Fighting crime as the Hood keeps him busy, but getting Felicity to fall in love with him? Now that'll take a whole new level of dedication.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melowdee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melowdee/gifts).



> This is a sequel to a story based on an AU idea where Felicity and Oliver met before he was stranded on the island; it's pretty important that you read that beforehand or you'll be confused.

[ ](http://melowdee.tumblr.com/post/68514146445/if-i-were-a-better-man-series-by)

_Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers_  
_Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters_  
_A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night_  
_May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright_

* * *

**Prologue**.

" _Oliver Queen is_ alive."

Felicity nearly choked on her chow mein as she suddenly put all of her focus on the television, grabbing up the remote and turning the volume up until it was nearly deafening. She stared wide-eyed at the anchor from Channel 7 News as he informed her of the most unlikely thing she'd heard in a while. And she'd heard a lot of unlikely things. Like last month when Tommy told her he was officially giving up drinking. That was so unlikely it never came to fruition; in fact, to battle his hangover from the night before, he stole a bottle of her favorite red wine and camped on her couch to bemoan how much the aftereffects of too much drinking royally sucked. But  _this?_  Oliver Queen, alive, after five years of being lost at sea, presumed drowned…? It was a whole new level of unlikely.

" _The Starling City resident was found by fishermen in the North China Sea five days ago, five years after he was missing and presumed dead following the accident at sea which claimed the Queen's Gambit… Queen was a regular tabloid presence and a fixture of the Starling City club scene--"_

Felicity snorted. That was an understatement. She was fairly sure that Oliver and Tommy managed to keep the doors to many a club open purely on their celebrity and the long tabs they racked up.

" _Shortly before his disappearance he was acquitted of assault charges stemming from a highly publicized drunken altercation with paparazzi._ "

She rolled her eyes. Not only because Oliver's habit of getting into trouble was widely-known and had, once upon a time, been something she found ridiculous and childish, but because she thought pointing it out in the same broadcast in which the world learned Oliver was alive was a bit of a cheap shot. Why point out the flaws of his life when he'd only just returned to it?

" _Queen is the son of Starling City billionaire Robert Queen, who was also on board but now officially confirmed as deceased_."

The word echoed in her ears.  _Deceased_. Exactly what she'd thought Oliver was until five minutes ago.

Anything else the newscaster had to say was suddenly drowned out by the dull buzzing in her ears.

He was alive.

Oliver was alive.

Stunned, Felicity sunk down on her couch, her mouth ajar, and tried to absorb the news. It felt like an out-of-body experience; it couldn't possibly be real. Slowly, she reached for the remote and turned off the television. It wasn't that she didn't like the news, or that she didn't want to hear them say it over and over again.  _He's alive he's alive he's alive_. But after five years, she had accepted that Oliver was gone. The man who infiltrated her office every lunch hour, five days a week, for nine long but admittedly amazing months, forcing her to drag her eyes off her work and eat while he tried to charm her into a date was no longer lost completely. She wasn't even sure how to process that.

And  _Tommy!_ God, Tommy must be freaking out! He was a train wreck when Oliver went missing and it'd taken him years before he could accept that Oliver wouldn't return. Only he did. Her lips twitched with a faint smile. Why was she even surprised? This was Oliver Queen. Hadn't Tommy told her he was the most obstinate person to ever live? Of course he wouldn't let something like being stranded at sea stop him…

She leaped from her couch and started to pace, biting the edge of her thumbnail as she considered her options.

Her first instinct was to call Tommy, or even just show up at his place. Did he know already? No, of course not. If he did, her phone would be ringing off the hook. Tommy had never been the proud owner of any ounce of patience. In fact, he was one of the most impatient people she knew. And he would've been knocking down her door, demanding to know if she knew that Oliver was back before he promptly started planning the 'Welcome Back to Civilization' party. Which meant that, given the hour… She squinted at the clock, briefly considering the fact that she needed to stop by her optometrist's office, and realized that Tommy was probably out clubbing. Yes, it was Wednesday, but, unlike her, he didn't have a job he needed to report to in the morning. Part of her wanted to begrudge him that fact, but most of her just did a full emotional eye roll at him. He was her best friend; she'd long accepted any faults or defects, and might even consider them part of his charm. With that in mind, she remembered the whole point of thinking of Tommy.

 _Oliver_.

He too would probably have been club crawling at this hour, but she imagined he was either cooped up in the hospital or resting at home. There was no way five years lost at sea hadn't taken a physical, and mental, toll. She was sure if she turned on TMZ it would give her his exact whereabouts, but she didn't bother with it. It was Tommy she wanted to find. Tommy who would be ecstatic that his best friend had been returned to him, hopefully as close to the man who left as one could be when they'd been lost for five years. But it was late and she couldn't begin to pin down which club Tommy had gone to. Somehow texting him didn't seem like the right thing to do. If she asked him to come over, he might just put it off for the next day. And if she told him it was important but she was vague about the why, he would worry. No, she would just have to wait for him to come to her…

With an inward sigh, she checked the clock again and paused. Her hands found her hips and for a moment, she seriously considered calling in sick to work and taking a day to just process. But she managed the whole IT floor, which meant that they would be lost without her-- veritable chickens with their heads cut off. And that wasn't her being arrogant; she'd once taken two days sick leave and she came back to find the floor, and just about every other level of the building, having a serious tech meltdown. Her director promptly told her that she was never allowed to get sick again. She wasn't sure  _exactly_ what happened, but it took her three days to clean up. So no, a sick day was out, she would only be making herself a bigger problem to deal with in the long run.

Her second option was baking. Sometimes, she just liked to make up a few trays of cookies, her great-grandmother's recipes were always the way to go, but her flour jar was empty, and so was her chocolate chips stash. Her last option was a definite no-go. Not unless she felt like facing her current point of anxiety head on. When she was really stressed, she liked to visit the stables at Queen Manor. It was soothing just brushing the horses, talking to them, sneaking them an apple or two. It reminded her of home, of her dad, and it made everything else fade into the background. But, going to the manor meant coming face to face with the fact that the prodigal son had returned. He might not be there yet, but she could imagine the frenzy of his arrival. Raisa would be beside herself, fluttering around the house, trying to make it presentable, to distract herself from how excited she was to have him home. Thea would be bouncing all over the place, so eager to get her brother back, talking non-stop about how amazing he was before he'd disappeared. It would be chaos of the best kind, but not something Felicity could handle right now.

Was she happy that Oliver was home? Yes. Absolutely. No question about it. She was just…  _conflicted_. Because before, when he was gone, it was so easy to sweep things under the rug, to ignore the hurt and the pain and the confusion over what had happened between them. But, now he was back and she wasn't sure she was allowed to be upset with him, to confront him. It was so long ago. It was history now. It was nothing in the grand scheme. So, he made a promise he couldn't keep, that he  _sabotaged_ himself from keeping, and she let herself get swept away. It was okay. She obviously wasn't the first woman to get caught up in the appeal of Oliver Queen. Not by a long shot, really.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded, stretching her arms out around her as if she was limbering up for a run. Except she didn't do that. Running. Not even light jogging. Frankly, she was more of a Wii Fit kind of person. The only exercise she got regularly was when she put her mind into overdrive and focused on a tech problem. No, what she was doing now was trying to shake off the excess energy and, with it, all of her doubts.

Oliver was back.

He would return to his family, his friends, and his life. Where she fit into that, she wasn't entirely sure. She was Thea's leaning post, Tommy's replacement best friend, and she managed the IT floor of Queen Consolidated. Once upon a time, she considered herself a friend, and potential  _something_ , to Oliver. She wasn't sure if she still was. In fact, she was pretty sure that during the five years he was gone, she was just a distant memory to him, a fuzzy face among many. He had more important people to spend his time with, to catch up with, and she would be okay with that. She wouldn't be completely absent from his life because there were too many people that linked them. But she wouldn't walk into his world expecting anything.

Felicity smiled to herself, proud of her newly found reserve of strength and logic. She could do this. The past was the past and that was where it would stay.

"Okay, time to get some sleep, Smoak. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow." Moving around her apartment, she shut off lights, turned on her security system, and double checked her locks. The only person who had a key was Tommy, and she sincerely hoped that if he happened to come by and crash at her place that he actually remembered to shut the door in his drunken haze this time. That and that he didn't trip the alarm. One could only hope.

After cleaning up her dinner mess and putting her late night take-out in the fridge, Felicity stopped by the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, tying her hair in a knot atop her head. Finally, she made her way back to her bedroom and climbed under the comforter, giving a little shiver at how cold the sheets were before she turned onto her side and reached over to flick off the bedside lamp. Laying her head on the pillow, she closed her eyes and willed her brain to shut off.

She wouldn't think of him. She wouldn't get tangled up in memories or worries or hopes. She would detach. That was the best, most pain-free, route.

And Felicity was nothing if not efficient.

* * *

Across town, standing in Starling City General, Oliver Queen stared out over the cityscape, his brow knotted, and his mouth set in a hard line.

He was home.

A pang of appreciation, of relief, hit him hard in the chest.

More than once he'd been convinced he would never get there, never see the familiar streets of his hometown again. But, there he was. Much of it looked the same, though there were a number of new buildings that had sprouted up, and he imagined that, upon closer inspection, a lot more than just a few new skyscrapers had changed the city he knew. But, it was still his; his home. And that was enough.

His mother stood just outside the hospital room he was staying in, talking to the doctor about the medical state Oliver was in. He could only imagine the laundry list of injuries she was learning about, though the stories behind each of them would never be revealed. A lot wouldn't be revealed. Not to his mother or anyone. The boy who had left Starling City was not the same man who returned. He might look the same in many respects, but on the inside he was anything but.

Five years ago, he'd set sail with his father, a dream of a better future getting him on the yacht, though it wasn't what propelled him forward the morning they left. He'd been spoiled, selfish, and, in many regards,  _stupid_. Before he'd even left the harbor, the promises he'd made had already dwindled to nothing, and he'd picked up his old image as quickly as it had been shed. He ground his teeth as he remembered his mistakes, his excuses. But the time for regretting who he was had passed. He was going to make up for the things he'd done, the people he'd wronged, the bad choices he'd made.

He'd left Starling City promising that he was growing, he was going to be somebody to be proud of, he was going to return a worthy man. And, though he hadn't truly intended to, that was exactly what had happened. He was scarred, jaded, and empty of any innocence he'd once had in him, but his eyes were opened and he had a clear vision of what he wanted and how he would get it. At least, for most things.

He would clean up the city and right his father's wrongs. He would be a better son to his mother and a better brother to his sister. The selfish person he'd once been would no longer affect his family or those around him. He had a mission now and its sole focus was improving the city for the people who lived in it.

There was only one thing, one person, that he had no idea how to make amends to. He had no real plan, no certainty that anything would work, and, though he hoped it was true, he still couldn't be sure that he was worthy yet. But, he wanted to be-- he would try to be.

Oliver turned his hand over and peered down at it. A silver ring looped around his forefinger, a chain dulled with time and the trials of the island hung from it, and there, at the end, resting in his palm, was a small rectangular keychain, the label and writing of which had long worn off. A faint smile pulled at the corner of his lips and he squeezed his fingers closed, until the edges bit into his palm. He let out a sigh, taking comfort in the solid form under his grip. He raised his eyes once more and cast them out over the city.

He wondered where she was, and if she was thinking about him. Because he'd spent the last five years thinking of Felicity Smoak and there was a lot he had to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poster made by the truly amazing [dhfreak](http://dhfreak.tumblr.com/post/68514146445/if-i-were-a-better-man-series-by).


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Felicity's work outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_smoak_1a/set?id=100489985).  
>  **Thea's outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/thea_queen/set?id=100491425).  
>  **Felicity's dinner outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_1b/set?id=100525360).

**[ ](http://dhfreak.tumblr.com/post/68514146445/if-i-were-a-better-man-series-by)   
**

**I**.

"Did you see the news?" he asked from the doorway of her office.

Felicity rolled her eyes. "Hello to you too, Tommy."

"I think pleasantries can be skipped when long lost friends who seemingly drowned at sea suddenly pop back up like a too-good-to-be-true scene in an 80's movie."

Raising an eyebrow, Felicity turned to look up at him. "I saw the news. Oliver's alive and should be on his way back to the mansion as we speak." She half-smiled. "It's kind of hard to miss."

He stared at her searchingly. "That's it? That's all I get? No overwhelmed crying or jumping for joy? Not even an unnecessary but touching ramble about how worried you are that I now have my childhood best friend back and I won't have any reason to keep you around?" He tossed his hands in the air dramatically. "Have we lost our spark already? Has the shine worn off that quick?"

Standing from her chair, she sighed, circling the desk to reach him. "I know you're happy, and I'm happy for you. I'm happy for Thea and Mrs. Queen and the whole family. I'm also nervous and I can feel this weird twisting in my stomach that kind of feels like nausea but not quite." Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "There's also a really large part of me that thinks I'm dreaming and I'll wake up tomorrow to find you passed out on my couch, expecting a Bloody Mary and a warm pretzel. So yes, I'm feeling something, I just don't know what feeling to focus on. So I'm working and it's helping."

His shoulders slumped a little as he half-smiled at her. "There's the rambly you I remember."

With a snort, she shook her head. "What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be staked out on his lawn with a Welcome Home banner and a car full of strippers?"

He grinned. "That was my next stop."

Smiling despite herself, she hiked her brows. "Don't let me stop you."

Reaching for her, he cupped her elbows and gave her a little shake. "Felicity, this is  _Oliver_. I've officially been given the best news I've had in five years…" He paused, his eyes darting away. "Except for that one time when the test was negative."

A short laugh escaped her and she pointed a serious finger at him. "That was great news for me too, Merlyn. No way was I ready to be a godmother. I'm not a kid person. I'm a 'don't let your child and its sticky fingers anywhere near all my sparking wires' person…"

He smirked. "I think god-motherhood would have suited you just fine," he argued. "Who knows, maybe with your influence he wouldn't have been corrupted young."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she nodded. "You're right. I could've had a hand in raising the first female president…" She frowned. "Although, if it takes us that long to elect a woman to the White House, I may just fold up my flag and hand in my patriotism."

"Spoken like a true American!"

Felicity smiled up at him. "All right, since you're all energy this morning, why don't we see what the break room has to offer in donuts? And you can tell me all about how you plan to throw Oliver a Welcome Back bash to put all others to shame… A party I will no doubt be convinced to participate in putting together and will absolutely  _not_  be a part of."

He snapped his fingers and swung an arm around her shoulders, directing her out of her office. "See? This is why we're friends. I come up with half-assed plans, you make sure I execute them properly, and—"

"You take all the credit," she finished, poking him in the chest.

"Did you honestly want the credit for last year's Spring Break party?"

"You mean the one you had over Thanksgiving weekend that ended with you being arrested for public nudity...?"

" _Alleged_ public nudity," he denied.

"Tommy… It is an age of camera phones…" She looked him up and down, her brow raised. "I've seen more of you than I've ever wanted to." Stepping out from under his arm, she continued down the hall.

Grinning after her, he called out, "You're welcome."

When she rolled her eyes back at him, he laughed and hurried to catch up. "So I was thinking something classy…" he started. "But I also think a wet T-shirt contest may be necessary…"

* * *

Felicity smiled as her phone beeped yet again and turned her attention from the stack of files she was currently going through to thumb open her text messages. She shook her head, amused, as she saw one after the other from Thea.

They ranged from just before the news broke:  _So I think we should have a spa weekend because my toes look sad… :(_

To directly after she found out:  _Call me! CALL ME RIHGT NOWW!_

Followed by a play by play of everything that was happening since finding out Oliver was alive, of which there were so many she wasn't sure she even had time to put a dent in reading in them.

Finally, to her latest:  _June wedding? Shotty maid of honor! :D_

Rolling her eyes, Felicity thumbed 2 on her speed dial and waited.

"Seriously!? It takes a  _wedding_ to get you to call me?"

"I've been busy, I'm sorry," she replied, helpless to the smile pulling at her mouth.

"Busy? Uh no, no way! Just go tell your boss that the  _big_  boss has given you the day off and then get over here, asap. He's gonna be here any minute! I need emotional encouragement like, yesterday."

"Thea, you're fine. It's Oliver, there's nothing to worry about. He's home and he'll be ecstatic to see you."

"But what if he's changed? Or deformed? Or what if he has like, island amnesia or something!"

Felicity blinked. "What is island amnesia?"

"I don't  _know_ , that's why I need you here!" she whined. "To Google for me!"

She laughed, shaking her head. "As flattering as that is, I really think this is a family moment… I already talked to Tommy; I think we should let him settle in. Tommy wants to have a big Welcome Home party, so I'm sure I'll see him then."

" _What_?" The disbelief and disagreement in her voice was obvious. "No. No way. First of all, if this is a family thing, you should be here. You've been like a sister to me for five years! And you're probably going to be my sister-in- _law_ , so I don't see why we should put it off any longer."

Biting her lip, she shook her head, hugging the stack of files in her arms close to her chest. "Thea, we've talked about this…"

"You moved on, you were two different people, he probably doesn't even remember you,  _blah blah blah_ … Trust me, okay? No way does he go through everything he did to get you only to forget you because what? Because he was marooned on an island! Pfft, what even!"

"Yes, right, because marooned on an island happens every other week…"

"Okay, fine, so it's kind of a big deal. Don't tell  _him_ that though. If I remember correctly, and I do, my memory is top notch—"

"We've yet to have that tested."

"—then he has a big enough head as it is, so we don't need to fill it with anymore hot air."

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you freaking out right now?" she wondered.

"Like a big, fat 12."

"But it's a good 12?"

"It's a 'so good I could cry' 12."

Smile softening, she nodded. "I'm happy for you."

She groaned. "No, because you're saying that like things are going to change. And they aren't. Or, okay, they are, but they're going to get  _better!_  Because Ollie's back! And everything…" She sighed happily. "Everything is  _always_ better with Ollie."

"Okay, you're right." Felicity nodded, pasting on a smile to help convince herself. "But I'm still not coming over."

"'City,  _come on…!_ " she complained.

"No," she said seriously. "This morning, it's all about you and the shortlist, all right? Tommy is already planning on having dinner with you guys, so give Oliver the morning to see you guys and adapt. We don't want to overwhelm him, right?"

She huffed out a long sigh before agreeing. " _Fine_ … But I expect you at dinner tonight!" Thea's tone brooked no argument.

"Sure, okay, I'll be there."

"Okay… And I'll be texting you everything that happens, so don't think you can ignore me. I want a reply to everything, even when I give you a play-by-play of the car coming up the driveway."

She laughed under her breath. "If I can, I'll reply. I'm not going to promise because, in case you haven't noticed, the prodigal son has returned and the company is kind of freaking out about it."

"All I heard out of that is 'I will reply, work, work, blah, blah, Thea you're the best, blah.'"

"That is some…  _impressive_ selective hearing you have there," she praised, rolling her eyes.

Catching sight of one of her employees waving frantically for her attention, Felicity sighed. "But I really do have to go, okay? You can tell me all about your reunion on my lunch break. I'll call you."

"All right, fine, leave me to deal with this increasingly emotional reunion on my lonesome…"

"Uh-huh, I'll talk to you later, Thea."

Exchanging their goodbyes, Felicity finally hung up her phone, but before she could turn and give her full attention to her employee, she paused, and scrolled back up through Thea's many texts to stare at one in particular:  _He's back! HE'S REALLY BACK. OMG!_

The words repeated in her head over and over again. It still didn't seem real, but between Thea and Tommy, she knew that was exactly what it was.

Oliver Queen was back…

And she was expected to share dinner with him that very night.

Letting out a groan, she pressed the screen of her phone to her forehead, only to take a deep breath, gather her strength, and then put on a brave face for her employee.

"All right, what've we got, Joan?" she asked, walking toward the worried woman a few feet from her.

* * *

The house seemed larger than Oliver remembered, but it'd been five years of trying to nail down the exact details in his mind and always coming up short. Old, grey stone built a castle-like mansion that he'd spent the majority of his life growing up in, and now it seemed just as distant, just as foreign as everything else he'd returned to. Still, as he gazed up at the structure while the car circled the driveway, he felt a warmth spread through his chest. Home. He was finally, truly, home.

As he climbed from the car, he intercepted the driver as he reached for the only item he brought back with him, an army munition trunk, the wood long faded. "I've got it," he assured the driver, a hand on his shoulder while the other gripped the handle.

His mother was ahead of him, already throwing the thick wood doors open to the house while he carried the trunk at his side, his eyes quickly scanning the area, looking for any details that might be different. He once knew this house like the back of his hand, but a very strong part of him demanded that he look for every exit.

"Your room is exactly as you left it," Moira told him, walking toward the table in the center of the foyer, dressed in family photos. "I never had the heart to change a thing."

"Oliver," a jovial, male voice calls out, and his head raised, searching out the source.

He put his trunk down as the man, familiar but not enough to spark a name in his mind, walked toward him.

"It's damn good to see you."

Oliver stared, brow slightly furrowed, and looked him up and down, waiting for an explanation or a memory to pop up.

His smiling mother moved to his side and seemed to read his confusion in his lack of reply.

"It's Walter," the man told him gently, reaching out to shake his hand. "Walter Steele."

Moira put an encouraging hand on Oliver's shoulder. "You remember Walter, Oliver, your father's friend from the company."

He glanced back at Walter, seeing a small smile, but his attention was quickly taken by Raisa, standing just off to the side, smiling at him. He moved toward her, smiling. "It's good to see you, Raisa."

She was nearly breathless as she looked up at him warmly, taking his hands in hers. "Welcome home, Mister Oliver," she told him, her Russian accent just as thick as ever. She cast her eyes past him toward Moira and Walter. "Mister Merlyn phoned, he wants to join you for dinner."

"Wonderful," Moira exclaimed.

A door above opened then and Oliver turned his head expectantly.

"Oliver, did you hear that?"

He couldn't be bothered to reply as he was sure he knew who was coming to greet him then.

He moved toward the stairs, his lips already turned up at the corners. And then she was there, standing tall at the top of the stairs, her hand still on the banister. She wasn't the skinny, little pre-teen he'd left behind; she'd grown into her long legs and arms. Five years had gone a long way and there was a sort of elegance and confidence about her that had been missing when he'd last seen her.

"Hey, sis," he said lightly, smiling.

She paused, just staring at him, and then she let out a breathless laugh and started down the stairs, her expression open and happy, full of excited hope. "I knew it." Her steps hurried. "I knew you were alive." She leapt into his arms, squeezing him in a tight hug. "I missed you so much."

He held her close, stroking her soft, brown hair. "You were with me the whole time."

Thea laughed under her breath and he held her a little tighter, his heart squeezing in his chest. He'd missed this; missed  _her_. But he was going to make up for the time they'd lost, he assured himself. He was going to be the brother she deserved.

* * *

Felicity was exhausted. Between fixing problems around the IT floor, training her new floor manager, and fielding questions about Oliver's return, she was due for an early lunch. Or she would be, if she wasn't already well past what her usual lunch break would be. She was massaging her temples of the migraine that had set in as she walked toward her office.

"Miss. Smoak?" a voice called, causing her shoulders to slump.

But as she turned, she found it was just her assistant, Rudy. Unfortunately gaining the name Rudolph from his parents, the affable young man had taken to using a nickname as quickly as possible. He was a good assistant, if a bit of a gossip. He managed to keep all of her meetings in order and learned her coffee order his very first day. Better, he learned to read her moods, and often knew just how to react to each of them. Like now, standing just a few feet from her with a glass of ice cold water and a bottle of aspirin.

"You are a God-send, have I mentioned that?" she wondered, reaching for the water first and taking a long gulp as he poured two Aspirin out into her palm.

"You have, and I'm under strict orders by Mr. Merlyn to let him know every time you do… He takes it as a compliment for introducing us."

"This is the one and only time I won't argue with him for stroking his own ego," she muttered, before tossing back the pills and following them with another gulp of water. Giving her head a shake as she swallowed them down, she finally sighed, hopeful at the possibility of some reprieve from the pounding in her head.

"I'm taking my lunch," she informed him. "So please, for all that is holy, let me have just an hour without interruption."

"Done," he agreed nodding, only to shake his head a moment later. " _Except…_ "

Her eyes narrowed. "Let me guess…  _Thea_."

"She called ahead around ten and had me write her in for lunch."

"Fine. I'll call her as soon as I sit down."

"Uh, well, about that…" He shifted his feet. "See, she told me to call her as soon as I thought you were going to take your lunch, so I did, about an hour ago. I warned her you still had a few kinks to work out on some of the executive servers that I knew you wouldn't let just anybody touch, and then there was Patricia, who I know you've been struggling to train…"

"Rudy, I already have a headache. Cut to the chase."

He offered a half-smile, hoping to avoid her wrath as he told her, "She's here. She brought Thai. I'll put all other calls on hold." And with that, he fled, like the intelligent little minion he was.

Dropping her chin to her chest, Felicity turned on her heel and started toward her office, all the while lamenting the fact that a seventeen year old girl could finagle her way into a last minute lunch without her even knowing. Yes, fine, so she should be used to it by now. She'd known Thea since she was a demanding little 12-year-old who was already bending the world to her will, and that had only seemed to increase over time. Thea was aware of how much power she possessed being a Queen and while she often used it to her benefit, Felicity had to admit, she didn't use it as selfishly as she could. Thea understood there were boundaries, or, at least, she learned there was over time. She wasn't going to claim the top spot for reasons why Thea wasn't a selfish, self-destructive, trust-fund baby, but she'd like to think she had a positive effect on her life over the years.

Pushing open the thick, double doors of her office, she stepped inside to find Thea sitting behind her desk, in her chair. Well, reclining with an air of ingrained superiority might be a better way of describing it.

Felicity had an amazing view from her bay window. It was one she'd worked her ass off for over the years. And, to be honest, she owed part of that to Oliver. Not his disappearance, obviously, but his tenacious attitude had rubbed off on her and she'd taken to heart just how stubborn he'd been when she knew him. So instead of getting passed over for promotions or locked away in the dark depths of the overlooked sections in the IT Department, she put herself out there and she made herself and her knowledge known. Which was why she was the youngest operator of the IT Department, overseeing every transaction and monitoring every project.

This was why she was training Patricia, however; there was only so much one person could do and, she had to admit, she didn't always trust her employees to do the job as well as she could. So she had two options, continue overworking herself by doing their jobs for them or train somebody to make sure that the IT employees were meeting and exceeding expectations. Of course, until Patricia was where she wanted her to be, that just meant Felicity had one more thing to do in her already busy day, but she had faith that, eventually, she would spend more time overlooking rather than fixing.

Crossing her office, the click-clack of her heels echoed on the hard-wood floors. The only area wearing a rug was beneath the two armchairs placed facing her desk, a small, round table set between them. She'd spent a considerable amount of time designing her office after she'd earned it. One wall was almost completely covered with books, with track lighting on either side of the five, ceiling-tall bookshelves, hemmed in on either side with flourishing green plants. On the opposite side of the room was a small entertainment center, a stereo and remote equipped with her favorite soothing music for long days. Beside it was an overstuffed loveseat that she often found Tommy sleeping off a long night on, an end table within reach, regularly dressed in a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol. Beside that was a large, flat-screen TV that was almost permanently on a channel dedicated to latest tech, though it was muted much of the time.

"You know, when I agreed to talk at lunch, I thought it'd be over the phone," Felicity said in greeting, plopping down on the chair adjacent to her desk. "Mostly because I didn't think you'd want to let Oliver out of your sight."

Thea shrugged, twirling the chair around so she could face her. "I spent the morning with him, but it's a little hard to get in much bonding when mom doesn't let him get three feet away…"

"She's adjusting. I'm sure after a few days, she'll loosen the leash a little and you two can have some brother-sister time."

"Yeah, I know." She leaned forward in the chair and reached for the bags of Thai food that were sitting on the corner of the desk. She started taking it all out for them, her brow furrowed.

Felicity let her brood silently, accepting the food she was offered before she leaned back in her seat and relaxed, kicking off her heels for comfort's sake. They ate in peace for a while and Felicity felt her migraine ebb with the aid of the Aspirin and the peace and quiet.

But after Thea sighed one too many times, Felicity finally took the bait. "All right, what's up?"

She raised her head from where it rested on her upturned fist. "Nothing." She shrugged, frowning down at her food. "It's just… He… He looks the same, but…  _not_."

"Okay… No offense, Thea, but you're not the 12-year-old you once were either."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's not what I mean, okay? I mean... He—He's all…  _buff_  and— And don't get me wrong, okay? Because he worked out all the time. He was pretty vain, actually. But this is different. Now he's like… He's  _solid_. And it's weird. It's like, I dunno. I guess I was expecting  _Castaway_ , you know? Like kind of undernourished and scruffy. Not…  _Tarzan_."

"Well, that's good though, isn't it? I mean, he had to survive some way. It's not like how it is here. He was stuck on an island. We don't know what he saw there or what he had to do…" A little furrow dug between her brow then, worry gnawing at her gut. But she shook it off suddenly, not wanting to worry Thea any. "I'm just saying, he might not be exactly the same, but he's still your brother. You're both going to have to adapt to things. Right?"

She nodded slowly, picking at her food. "I know. I just… I guess I was hoping when he came back, we'd just go back to normal…" She sighed, ducking her head. "Which is stupid because… how are we supposed to be normal with dad gone? Nothing's going to be like it was."

Putting her food on the table beside her, Felicity stood from her chair and moved around her desk to kneel next to Thea, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "You remember when we talked about this a few years ago? You said you didn't care what it took, you just wanted them back..."

Thea stared at her searchingly before finally nodding.

"Okay, well, you didn't get them both. Frankly, it's a miracle you got Oliver. Five years is a long time, and I know even you were starting to lose hope." She smiled up at her lightly. "But you were right, Oliver's back, and he might not be exactly who he was when he left, but he's still Oliver. He's done a lot of growing up, just like you, and now you've got to find a way for you guys to fit together again. He's going to need your help, you know? I mean, five years is a lot to catch up on. Who knows, he might think Paris Hilton is still relevant."

She snorted. "Let's be serious, Paris was  _never_ relevant."

Felicity chuckled under her breath. "Come on." She stood up. "Let's finish lunch and then you can give be a play-by-play of your morning, all right?"

"Deal." She leaned back in her chair, plucking up her food once more and Felicity rounded her desk to retake her seat. "And then we can talk about what you plan on wearing to dinner tonight because you are  _definitely_ not getting out of it."

Wincing, Felicity frowned at her friend, grumbling under her breath as she picked up her lunch.

"You know, you have to go home eventually… and I could still come down with something. In fact…" She let out a pitiful fake cough. "I think I feel something coming on."

Scoffing, Thea raised an eyebrow. "Keep it up, Smoak, and I'll personally escort you home and dress you myself."

"You're a bit of a tyrant, you know that?"

She grinned widely. "And proud of it."

Felicity shook her head, but filled her mouth with food and admitted defeat to herself. There really was no arguing with Thea.

* * *

It was easier on the island, to ignore the blatant differences in him. Vanity had long been ingrained him, but he hadn't had time to worry about the scars and the burns when he was constantly running for his life. Now that he was home, he couldn't help but stare at them, letting his fingers run over the puckered flesh that would always be raised. Showering was a nice distraction in some ways; hot water was a luxury he hadn't had in far too long. The grit of the island had long been washed away over the last few days, but there were some things that would always stay with him. Like the stain of blood on his hands, the tally of lives he'd racked up, the losses, the wins, if he could even call them that. They would always be with him, and he wasn't sure he wanted it any other way.

Leaving the steamy confines of his bathroom, he ventured into his bedroom, a towel wrapped tight around his waist, water still dripping down his skin. He gazed out the window onto the surrounding property. A storm was brewing outside, just the beginnings of a drizzle now, but he could smell it, he knew the signs. Soon enough water would be pouring down, wind battering against the windows, making the tree branches whip around, and an eerie whistle sing to his darkest nightmares.

He pulled himself from the window and stopped at the full body mirror to gaze at the torn flesh he'd been wearing for what seemed like a lifetime. Gone was the lanky man he'd once been, narcissism no longer the only reason he went to the gym each day. The muscle he'd packed on over the last five years had been in an effort to survive, and now it would serve an even bigger purpose.

Pulling himself away from his thoughts, and the mirror that mocked him, he quickly dressed. Tommy was coming to dinner; now that was a memory he was happy to get lost in. Sure, he wasn't the same man Tommy would be eager to welcome home, but that didn't mean he hadn't missed his best friend and his easy-going ways.

As he left his room, he paused outside of Thea's bedroom; he could hear her moving around inside, muttering under her breath. She'd left earlier, shouting to him and their mother as she hurried toward a waiting car that she would be visiting a friend for lunch and she'd see them later. Oliver had spent much of his afternoon walking around the property with his mom, letting her fill him in on what had been happening in high society. She hadn't asked about the island, though he could see it in the set of her lips that there were a thousand questions begging to be answered. She wanted to give him time, to let him adjust, but eventually, he knew she would want to know. They all would.

Continuing down the hall, his feet were silent on the stairs, his gaze bouncing around the large foyer. The lighting was darker in the mansion than he remembered, mixing with the dark wood paneling and banisters to give the room a glow. He wasn't sure if the fire roaring in the grate added to the effect or not.

Waiting on his guest, he found himself standing by the table that wore all the family pictures and scooped up a familiar one of himself as a toddler and his father as a much younger man. Growing up, his mother often commented on just how much he'd taken after his dad, especially when it came to his grin. 'You're so handsome,' she'd tell him, 'just like your dad.' He'd taken it as a compliment, of course. In fact, he'd never seen his father as anything less than a shining example of a hero figure. Not until it became very clear that 'hero' was not what Robert Queen had been at all.

The door swung open behind him and Oliver raised his head, his body going tense immediately.

"What'd I tell ya…? Yacht's  _suck_."

Oliver felt a faint smirk tug at his mouth as he relaxed, placing the picture frame back down and turning to see him.

Laughing under his breath, Tommy grinned elatedly as he advanced for a hug.

"Tommy Merlyn," he said with affection.

They patted each other on the back as they embraced.

"I missed you, Buddy," Tommy told him.

Oliver sighed, relaxing into the hug for a few long seconds before they let go. Stepping back, he rested a hand on Tommy's shoulder and just stared at him for a moment. He looked about the same, except for a more modern haircut. But Tommy was still the same, boyish man he'd left behind. There was a natural lightheartedness that surrounded him and while Oliver couldn't help but appreciate that, he could also admit that some part of him lamented the loss of the same in himself. But that was a long time ago. It'd been ages since he could say, with all honesty, that nothing in the world bothered him.

"What? No post card?" Tommy teased, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid they didn't have a postal service where I was. But if you want, I can stop by the gift shop at the airport and fake one for you."

"Well, don't put yourself out." He took a step back and then cast his eyes around. "Am I the first one here?"

Oliver's brow furrowed. "I thought you were our only guest tonight…" He paused. "Besides Walter."

Pointedly avoiding his gaze, Tommy opened his mouth to reply, but his attention was quickly grabbed. "Thea!" he exclaimed, with more excitement than strictly necessary.

She half-grinned at him as she walked down the stairs. "I just saw you a few days ago, Tommy. Not that I don't appreciate a little love here or there."

He rolled his eyes and walked toward her, meeting her on the bottom step to sling an arm around her shoulders and squeeze her. "A few days is like a lifetime without you," he claimed dramatically.

"Uh-huh." She turned her attention back to Oliver. "What's the ETA on dinner?"

He shrugged. "Soon, I guess."

"Great." She ducked out from under Tommy's arm and moved to the door, closing it after Tommy left it wide open, a cool breeze quickly chilling the area. "Come on, if we get there early enough, Raisa might take pity on me and pour me a small glass of wine." She held her hand up, her fingers a tiny bit apart for emphasis.

Oliver half-smiled down at her and wrapped an arm around her as he led her down the hall toward the dining room. "Aren't you a little young to be hitting the bottle?"

"Really? You want to talk about too young to drink? Because, let me tell you, Tommy already cheesed you out. He gave us all the details about your under-age drinking days, Ollie."

Casting a glare back at Tommy, his lips twitched when his best friend merely held his hands up and shrugged in a 'what can ya do?' manner.

When they stepped into the dining room, he found himself looking around much like he had in every other room. There was something distant about the house, as if it'd been so long since he lived there that everything seemed new, even the antique furniture that outdated even his great-grandparents.

The table was dressed with candles and multiple vases of brightly color tulips. Bowls of salad and dressings were placed on either end, soon to be replaced with platters of food for them to dish out at their discretion.

At the end of the table sat his mother and, to her right, Walter. Thea's seat on the left side of the table was kitty-corner to where he was set to eat, directly across from his mother, while Tommy and another table placement took up the right side. As everybody took their seats, he found himself staring at that empty seat curiously.

"Were we expecting someone else?" he wondered as salad was served.

Tommy and Thea quickly looked at each other, their eyes wide and their eyebrows making jerking motions in silent conversation.

"Thea, I thought you said she agreed she'd be here?" Moira wondered, her brow furrowed. "It isn't like her to be late."

Walter dabbed at his mouth with his cloth napkin, finishing a bite of his salad. "I can call, see if she hasn't gotten caught up." He briefly patted Moira's hand, a faint, affectionate smile turning up his lips. "You know how easily distracted she gets."

"Of course," Moira agreed, nodding.

"I'm sure she's fine," Thea told them, shaking her head. "I talked to her like, an hour ago. Wardrobe change, you know?"

"We can wait…" Moira offered, though she'd already dressed her salad and had a bite ready on her fork.

"No, it's fine." Thea shook her head. "She'll be here. She promised. She'll just… miss out on the appetizers."

"Yeah," Tommy agreed, nodding. "She's been really busy lately, it's not unusual for her to be late." He reached for his glass of wine. "She woke up late this morning, something about an evil alarm that's holding a grudge against her for accidentally throwing it at the wall one time too many…"

Oliver looked between everybody, feeling left out of something that seemed obvious. "I'm sorry…  _Who_ are we waiting on?" he wondered, his gaze bouncing from his mother to his sister to his best friend, the last two of whom avoided his gaze once more.

"Oh, Oliver, you'll love her," Moira told him happily. "She's been an amazing support for Thea and Tommy, she's just been wonderful. She works at Queen Consolidated, you might have met her before..."

Just then, Oliver heard a voice coming down the hall, mixing with Raisa's distinct accent, and then the click-clack of heels grew nearer until finally their final guest had entered the dining room.

Oliver nearly knocked his salad into his lap as he laid eyes on the one woman he'd spent five years trying not to forget. He didn't have a picture of her to rely on, only his memory, but he thought she might be even prettier than what his mind had cooked up. When he'd first met Felicity Smoak, she'd been a mix of business and a flair all her own. She still modeled her love for bright colors in the electric blue of her dress and the paint on her nails, but there was something more polished about her between the white lace high heels, diamond and pearl earrings, and the studded white belt that hugged her waist. This was a woman who had spent a considerable amount of time and money on her wardrobe than the IT tech he'd first met.

He'd stared at her for so long he thought his eyes were beginning to itch. Words were lost on him. He'd imagined this a thousand time. Not here, not in front of his family, but he'd imagined what he'd say when he saw her again and now he felt like it was all for nothing. All of the suave charm he'd once wielded was missing, he didn't have a line that would make her laugh, and she'd managed to catch him so off-guard that he felt like he was gaping in awe rather than showing off in an attempt to regain her attention.

"I'm not saying the weather man was lying, but I distinctly remember him promising clear skies this morning," she said in greeting, stepping further in the room. She paused by Tommy, her hand on his shoulder as she ducked to kiss his cheek, and then took her place in the seat beside him.

Suddenly, his chest felt heavy. What had Tommy said…? That she'd woken up late that morning. A ball of lead filled his stomach as he looked between Felicity and Tommy. Five years was a long time. His gaze fell, staring at her hands, searching for a ring, a sign, something that would tell him where she was at in her life. There was a stab of relief when he didn't see an engagement ring or a wedding band, but it didn't settle the uncertainty inside him as much as he wanted it to.

"You should write them an angry email," Thea suggested. "One with pictures."

Felicity hummed, taking the napkin laid out on the table and spreading it over her lap. "The last time I did that, they sent me an apology basket of cheese."

"Mm…" Thea shook her head negatively. "No, they sent back a really vague apology letter that Tommy found, you know, when he was illegally going through your mail… Tommy sent you a basket of foreign cheeses to make you feel better."

Holding up his fork, Tommy turned to Felicity and said, "In my defense… you moped about that for like… a week."

"It was two days and that was because I had to cancel a trip due to false weather-casting." She frowned. "And I thought we talked about the mail thing."

" _You_ talked… I played Grand Theft Auto and nodded a lot."

She paused, her lips turned down. "That sounds familiar."

Thea snorted. "It's your own fault for not locking up the Xbox."

"He's twenty-eight years old, he should probably be past this at this point."

He shook his head. "No, I plan on being as immature as humanly possible for as long as I can milk it."

Rolling her eyes, Felicity turned her attention to Moira and Walter then. "I'm so sorry I was late for dinner. I always drive slower in the rain, so I didn't quite get my timing right."

"It's perfectly all right," Walter assured. "Not that you're here, though, I was hoping we might talk about a few new programs that have passed my desk."

Moira held up a finger. "Ah, no work-talk at dinner," she reminded, looking between them.

Oliver watched the interactions with curiosity, taking in every facial tick and the telling signs of body language. Felicity was familiar with them, in a way he'd never expected upon returning. When he'd left, she'd only known Tommy, and even that was a newly acquired friendship because of him. But here she was, sitting down to dinner with them, and she fit. She looked at everyone like she'd known them for years, like she'd sat at this very table and eaten meals with them countless times.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

When he'd thought about his return, he'd gone over various ways they'd meet. Maybe he'd stop by her office one afternoon, surprise her with lunch like he used to. Or maybe he'd see if he could bump into her outside of her favorite coffee shop, buy her one of those pumpkin spice muffins that they specialized in. But never had he imagined that she'd be here, ensconced in his family. In fact, some part of him had thought to keep it completely separate. He would come home and he would have three distinct parts of his life happening all at once. His home life, with his family, his love life, hopefully with Felicity, and then the other, much darker part of him, that nobody here would ever learn about.

But it seemed what he had planned wasn't going to come to fruition. Now he needed to find an alternate plan; he needed to figure out how this was going to work, how he was going to meld two parts of the life he'd planned out in his head. It was obvious that his mother didn't know he knew Felicity already. So as close as she was to the family, she hadn't shared that tidbit. It was just as obvious that Thea  _did_ know about his history with her, and that Tommy was well aware that he might be confused about her being at dinner, but hadn't bothered to warn him ahead of time. What did that mean?

It was clear that Felicity and Tommy were close. They were affectionate and comfortable with each other. Tommy talked about her as if he was deeply ingrained in her life and had spoken about her morning as if he was there. But was he? Or was that just something she'd told him about? The idea that Felicity and Tommy might be lovers made his stomach twist up unpleasantly.

Five years was a long time, he reminded himself. He had no right to judge. He had no claim to her. Hadn't he been the one to jet off to China with another woman, all the while making promises to her that when he got back, he would be a better man, the  _right_ man for her? But was he? He wasn't sure. He was different, yes, but not every facet of him was better for it.

He hadn't touched his salad. It was replaced with a plate of dinner, but even that went barely touched. The succulent roast, broccoli with cheese sauce, and roasted potatoes were too rich for him still. Even the robust scent of it left him a little nauseas. Instead of eating, he watched. He took in the way Walter gently touched Moira's hand. How she leaned over to talk to him; the natural intimacy between them was obvious. He watched Felicity as she cut up her dinner, her pink lips curled up at the corners. She traded banter with Thea and often rolled her eyes at whatever funny thing Tommy was sharing with them next. Tommy was more than happy to be the center of attention.

"Okay, what else did you miss?" He waved a finger toward him and then swallowed what he'd been chewing, his napkin gripped in his hand. "Super bowl winners: Giants, Steelers, Saints Packers, Giants again. Uh, black president, that's new. Oh, and  _Lost_ … They were all dead…  _I think_."

Oliver's eyes darted toward his mother, who raised her glass for Walter to top off with wine, smiling at something he whispered for only her to hear.

"We've watched the series three times, how are you still confused about this?" Felicity wondered, sighing.

"It's a confusing show," he told her defensively. "Also I keep falling asleep… To be honest, the only thing I really remember is that Juliet was hot."

"And Sawyer," she told him, waving a potato speared on her fork in his direction.

He rolled his eyes.

Oliver's eyebrow raised.

"What was it like there?" Thea wondered suddenly, her arms braced on the table as she peered at him curiously.

The table went still, cutlery no longer moving. Tommy even stopped chewing as his attention moved to him.

Oliver's face was carefully masked; his eyes fell to the table briefly before raising to meet hers. He answered honestly, if a little vaguely, " _Cold_."

Thea stared into his eyes a long moment until Tommy's voice broke her concentration and then she blinked her thoughts, her worries, away.

"Tomorrow, you and me, we're doing the city. You've got a lot to catch up on." Tommy nodded, pointing to him with his butter knife.

"That sounds like a great idea," Moira agreed, smiling.

"Good," Oliver said. "Then I was hoping to swing by the office."

Walter paused, his glass raised to his lips but unmoving.

Moira hummed, her head tipped with surprise, brows raised.

"Well, there's plenty of time for all that," Walter assured. "Queen Consolidated isn't going anywhere."

"When I do…" Oliver turned his head, his gaze focusing on Felicity. "Maybe you could show me around, help me re-familiarize myself…"

She stared at him, her bright blue eyes wide, her fork raised just short of her gaping mouth.

"We can start with the coffee room."

A faint flush filled her cheeks, but before she could offer a reply, Raisa moved toward the table, tripping as she went.

Oliver reacted instinctively, catching her, and balancing the bowl of pears she was holding.

"I am so sorry, Mister Oliver," Raisa apologized quickly.

" _Ni dlya kogo ne volnuites_ , Raisa."

She gazed down at him in happy shock.

"Dude! You speak Russian!" Tommy laughed in surprise.

"I didn't realize you took Russian in college, Oliver," Walter said, his brow furrowed.

"I didn't realize you wanted to sleep with my mother, Walter," he replied calmly.

Felicity choked on her wine, quickly raising her napkin to cover her mouth.

The room went quiet once more, with Walter's face falling and Moira staring at her son, her eyes a little wide with surprise. A few tense seconds passed before she turned her attention to her daughter, who laughed awkwardly.

"I didn't say anything," Thea defended, shaking her head and dropping her hands to her lap.

Tommy folded his lips and turned his attention to his plate.

Felicity looked between Moira and Walter and Oliver. Though his gaze still hadn't left his mother, he could see her head swiveling from his peripheral vision. He wondered if she was chewing her lip like she used to.

"She didn't have to," Oliver said, removing the blame from his sister.

Moira raised her chin proudly for a moment before pressing her lips in a thin line and nodding. "Oliver… Walter and I are married," she explained, reaching for her husband's hand and squeezing. "And I don't want you to think that either one of us did anything to disrespect your father."

His gaze fell then, staring down at the food that filled his plate, only to cool as it was left untouched.

"We both believed that Robert, like you, was, uh…" Walter stumbled for the right word before finally settling on, "gone."

"It's fine," Oliver assured, offering a faint, uncomfortable smile. And then he rose, pressing his seat back. "May I be excused?"

Slowly, Moira nodded.

He moved to leave, taking only the pear that Raisa had left behind with him. He patted Tommy's shoulder as he passed him.

"Hey, don't forget about tomorrow, buddy," Tommy told him, patting his elbow in return.

Oliver cast a wink over at Thea before he found himself just inches away from Felicity. He wanted to reach for her, to touch the delicate skin of her bare shoulder, to lean over and take in the light scent of her perfume or the floral aroma of her shampoo. He wanted her to look at him and for him to look back, to meet the blue eyes he'd dreamt of for years. He wanted to tell her he had the keychain still and that he'd kept up part of his promise, even if he'd fallen down on the big parts. But he didn't, he couldn't. He wasn't sure what she knew about his time away, but he knew she was probably aware of Sara by now. If her reaction to him, to desperately try and ignore he was even at the table, was anything to go by, he had an uphill battle against him.

Tonight would not be the night he tried his hand at winning her affections. He was on information overload and he wasn't sure what to focus on first. His mother had remarried, his sister had grown up, the woman he'd been desperate to reunite with for five years was close with his family and, possibly, even closer with his best friend. It was too much for one evening and he needed some time to himself.

But he promised himself as he walked away that tomorrow he would do what he set out to. There were a lot of cogs in the machine that had to be set into motion, but this one took the utmost dedication. He would find out what Tommy and Felicity's relationship was tomorrow and, if it was only friendship, then he'd set out to do what he'd promised himself he would. He'd convince Felicity that he was a changed man, and that he was ready to be with her.

Tossing his pear up into the air only to catch it, he made his way down the hall and climbed the stairs to his bedroom. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day. When he thought about her tinkling laughter, a welcome sound after all these years, he knew it would be worth it.

* * *

Felicity felt like she was going a little heavy on the wine, but dinner felt awkward. He was only a few feet away and, well, Thea hadn't been wrong. He looked…  _bigger_ than he had before. Muscular in a way he hadn't been prior to being marooned on an island. She tried not to look at him. Really, she did. She focused on Thea and Tommy, their banter always a nice end to her day, but there was only so much to be expected of her. So she glanced. She noticed the scruff that hadn't been there before, which was somehow more attractive than the cleanly shaven look he'd rocked previously. His face was more angular, losing the soft, boyishness it once held. His hair was shorter and there was something… edgier about him. He was very still, as if every movement was calculated. He reminded her of an animal, one that was carefully mapping out every movement of its prey. That should've bothered her, worried her even, but there was this soft affection whenever he looked at the people around him. This was his family, and it was clear how much he loved and missed them.

That didn't meant there wasn't something off about him. But it was a little difficult for her to figure out exactly what that was when she was only glancing at him for a split second before she turned her attention elsewhere.

He was still handsome. Maybe even more handsome. And that was… Well, that was somehow both exciting and disappointing. Why could he come back like Thea had suggested, all Tom Hanks'  _Castaway_? Then again, she probably would've still fallen for the malnourished thing too. She was the kind of person who shouldn't be allowed near phones when those Sarah McLachlan commercials for the SPCA and abandoned or hurt animals came on, because she would drain her own bank account trying to help while she wept over a carton of ice cream. In fact, as ashamed as she was to admit it, Tommy had talked her out of doing that a few too many times over the years.

But she was getting off topic. Oliver was back and he was better looking than ever, even if he was unusually quiet. Tommy seemed to be trying to make up for whatever he wasn't saying by filling in any gap in conversation, which didn't seem to bother anybody.

Only then he was talking, and he was talking to  _her_. He was looking directly at her and asking her for a tour of Queen Consolidated.

She was pretty sure she stopped breathing.

"We can start with the coffee room."

Oh God, what was she supposed to say to that?

Raisa slipped then, taking the attention off of her and it was the perfect time for her to regain her senses.

No, no, she wasn't falling for that. His charm wasn't going to change anything. They were going to be friends, maybe even just acquaintances depending on how things went. She was friends with his family, with Tommy, but that didn't mean she and Oliver had to be spending any significant amount of time together. No, sirree...

Was it wrong that she was relieved when Oliver's attention was turned to Moira and Walter's marriage? Probably. But self-preservation had to come from somewhere. She did feel terrible though. It was clear from Oliver's expression that it was one change he wasn't quite prepared for.

Five years was a long time though, wasn't it?

For instance, feelings she might have once harbored for him were long gone. There was nothing but happiness at his return. Happiness for his sister and his mother and his best friend. They got him back, and that was all that mattered.

Right, exactly, because anything else was pointless. Oliver was just reminding her that he remembered her; that was all. He wasn't flirting, it wasn't anything but polite conversation, an acquaintance asking for some help to get readjusted back home. So maybe she would show him around QC, or maybe he'd never follow through with that particular suggestion. Whatever happened, she promised herself she wouldn't let it sway her in any way. She would  _not_ get caught up in him.

As far as she was concerned, Oliver Queen would be playing no significant part in her life except that of Tommy's other best friend and Thea's brother. She would keep her distance but remain polite. As long as she did, she was sure they could be civil toward each other. Maybe one day, eventually, they'd be friends. She could handle that. Whatever happened, she would be prepared, because she wasn't expecting anything to come of it.

But as he walked away from the table, needing some time to process what he'd learned, she found herself turning, her gaze tracking him as he moved.

He really was incredibly handsome and, for a second, when she'd first walked in, she could've sworn he'd struggled to tear his eyes from her.

But that was ridiculous.

Wasn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so sorry for the long wait. Life caught up to me between school, an unfortunate six-week lock jaw incident, and just general stress. I'm so glad that Arrow's back on though as it'll definitely encourage my Olicity love enough to keep me writing more frequently.
> 
> Thank you everybody for your wonderful reviews; I've had such an amazing response to this story and I really hope you'll enjoy where it's going. I know you were probably expecting something bigger for the first time they meet, but that'll come next chapter, where they'll have some one-on-one time and won't be under the scrutiny of others. /wink
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's reading, please leave a review, they're a huge encouragement to keep writing.
> 
> \- **Lee | Fina**


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Felicity's outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_2a/set?id=100603173)

**[ ](http://dhfreak.tumblr.com/post/68514146445/if-i-were-a-better-man-series-by) **

**II**.

Felicity's office was on lockdown from the moment she stepped inside.

"No calls?" Rudy said slowly, his brow furrowed. "Like, none at all?"

" _None_. I want no interruptions, all right? I've got to call every club in the city for a 'Welcome Back Bash' to put all others to shame. And, considering the guest of honor, I'm either going to get eager to please or talk to the hand…" She rolled her eyes.

"Do people still say that?" he wondered, cocking his head thoughtfully. "I think that one might be out… You know, for someone who has her finger on the pulse, you're a little behind the times."

"I don't have my finger on anything, I just happen to spend a lot of time with people who do. So if you think you're the first person to complain that my pop culture references are outdated, you'd be wrong. And trust me, you've never felt shame until you have Thea Queen looking down at you like a wounded animal she's three seconds away from putting out of its misery."

Blinking a few times, Rudy nodded slowly. "Okay, so it's a kibosh on any outside interruptions? Even if it's Mr. Merlyn or Miss. Queen?"

" _Especially_ if it's them. I'll get nothing done if those two have their way."

"I thought you said Mr. Merlyn was planning this party."

"I did…" She pointed a pen at him, her brows hiked for emphasis as she leaned back in her chair. "And after this long, you should that's code for 'Tommy's had another harebrained idea and I, for reasons still not quite clear to me, am going to make it happen.'"

"You know, if my mother was here she'd tell you that he's never going to grow up if you don't let him… And then she'd pinch your cheeks and tell you that you're too skinny and you should eat more."

Chuckling under her breath, Felicity shook her head. "Sounds like my bubbie…" Briefly, she felt a pang of sadness that she didn't have her grandmother around to hover, but she quickly refocused her attention on the issue at hand. "Okay, so, Patricia… I've given her a to-do list, which means she's on her own for the day. If she has any questions, she needs to figure out the answers for herself."

"Sink or swim," he agreed, nodding, "Okay."

"I sat down with Walter last night to go over a few programs, but I know he had a few questions. I'm not sure he's coming in today, but if he does and he wants to talk, then he's the one exception." She held a finger up meaningfully. "Seriously, until after lunch, I don't want anyone knocking on my door."

"Got it."

"Any questions?"

He tapped his finger against his chin and tipped his head thoughtfully. "What do I tell anybody who calls or drops by?"

"That I'm on a conference call with Japan about that new tech I've been pushing them to share with us."

He frowned. "I thought you convinced them last week to give you a few trial programs."

She grinned. "I did. But you're the only one who knows that."

"Right, very smart. Well, I think that about covers it." He turned on his heel to walk to the door. "I'll see you at lunch… You still wanted me to order from that BBQ place, right?"

"Yes!" she said happily. "Oh god, I can already taste the chicken. I'm going to drool all over the guest list."

Snorting, Rudy paused by the entertainment stand to put on her favorite soothing music before he crossed to the double doors and pulled each of them closed.

Finally alone and surrounded by peace, she turned her chair to gaze out her window at the view below. Considering the storm last night, she was surprised by just how beautiful out it was. The sun was shining, the sky was a clear, cloudless blue, and somehow, it seemed the city itself was sparkling with renewed vitality. Which, given the state of Starling City, especially the Glades, she knew to be false advertising.

Shaking her thoughts off, she whirled back around to face her desk and the considerable job ahead of her. Tommy had talked her ear off last night about what he wanted for the welcome back party, from who he wanted to attend to what he wanted to eat and just how high on the scale of risqué he wanted the party to get. She was taking it as a personal mission to disconnect.

Tommy wanted women; dancers, servers, and attractive guests to fill every corner. He was making it his job to get Oliver laid, and Felicity had absolutely no opinion about that. Or, well, she was trying not to. Obviously she had no right to judge. She and Oliver weren't even a thing. They were a non-thing. They were a pre-thing even before the island and now they weren't even that. So if he wanted to get laid by some gorgeous, leggy model, or three, Felicity wasn't going to judge or get jealous. She was just going to put together a party and hand over the reins to Tommy as soon as the doors opened.

So she would throw this party, she would plan every single detail and let Tommy take all the credit, she might even enjoy a glass of bubbly champagne. And then she'd raise her glass in honor of Oliver's return before heading home to exchange the sparkly dress she knew Thea was going to make her buy (because, according to her, reusing outfits was apparently tacky) for comfy, animated pajamas.

But for now, she had to focus.

A club. She had to find just the right club for this shindig.

Was shindig still a viable word?

She considered it for a moment before grabbing up her phone and texting Thea her question.

As she was clicking through various webpages either saluting or shaming each club in Starling City, her phone pinged.

 _Only if ur using it ironically_ , Thea wrote back.

She hummed to herself before shaking her head and returning to her work. The things one learned from a seventeen year old socialite…

* * *

Oliver looked the picture of ease, but on the inside he was on edge. He'd attacked his mother last night; she'd caught him at a bad moment. The storm had come in hard and quick and his memories were as sharp and depressing as any nightmare. He dreamt of his father, of Sara, and the night that everything changed. Even now he could feel the chilling sting of the water all around him, twisting and turning him in all directions as he was caught inside the yacht while it splintered into pieces all around him.

Moira had come to his room; one of the windows was open and banging against the wall. Upon investigation, she found him on the floor, soaking wet and struggling with his inner demons. He'd reacted instinctively when she reached for him, flipping her over and pinning her to the floor. It was only Walter's thundering voice that stopped him, letting him focus on just who he had attacked.

He could have killed her.

He probably would have.

The look in her eyes as she stared up at him, the side of his hand pressed down so hard it cut off her air supply; it was like she didn't know him, didn't know what to expect of him. But as soon as he released her, scrambling away, apologizing sorrowfully as he went, her expression softened and that fear fled from her face.

It shouldn't have.

She  _should_ fear him. He was nothing like the spoiled  _boy_  who'd left her five years ago. There were things about him, things he'd done, that he knew would make sure she'd never look at him the same. But he didn't tell her that, he let her go on believing that she had her son back, the boy she missed, because some part of him wished he still was that person. Maybe not the selfish part of him, but the ignorant part that could go on blissfully unaware of the terrors of the world. His eyes were opened now, however, and they'd never forget what they'd witnessed.

He had plans with Tommy that morning; after locking the door, he went to his bed and drug out the munitions trunk from beneath. A combination lock kept the contents from prying eyes; he twisted and turned it to the exact numbers he'd long ago filed away in his mind. Lifting the wooden top, he peered down at the cloth cover for a moment before folding it up and taking out a faded, moleskin notebook, placing it on the floor a few inched from his bent knee, and then he picked up a small pouch he'd brought back with him from the island. He raised his head, brow arched, and checked the time. Thea wouldn't have left for school yet, he decided, and, after locking back up the trunk and hiding it away under his bed, he rose from the floor to find her. He grabbed his jacket and pocketed the pouch as he left his room.

Sometimes it felt weird to knock on doors; the island had been so open, so completely lacking in any kind of protection or privacy. His knuckles echoed along the old wood of her door as he waited for a reply.

"Yeah? Come in," she called out distractedly.

He pushed the door open to find her sprawled out on the bed on her back, legs crossed at the ankle. She was wearing her school uniform, though it wasn't as in order as he imagined the school dress code demanded. Thea always had her own sense of style and she obviously hadn't grown out of it. Her cell phone was raised as she tapped away, texting with practiced ease.

Turning her head to see him, she lit up. "Ollie!"

He laughed under his breath, grinning as he shook his head. Nostalgia hit him hard in the chest, leaving him a little dizzy with it. "No one's called me that in a while,  _Speedy_."

Sighing, her eyes fell shut. "Worst nickname ever," she complained, kicking herself up to sit on the edge of her bed.

"What, always chasing after me as a kid? I thought it fit pretty well."

"Yeah, well, sorry to burst the bubble, but my days of trailing after you are over." She hopped off her bed. "If anybody's going to be following anybody, it'll be  _you_  following  _me_. I mean, five years is a long time, you probably need a guide to the world as it's come to change."

He smiled at her gently. "And I'm sure your wisdom will come in handy." He dug his hand into his pocket and reached into the pouch he'd put there. He came back with an small, old, arrow-head shaped rock with Asian pictograms scrawled on it. "Anyway, I only stopped in because I got you something…"

She stared at the rock between his fingers, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. "You did  _not_ come back from a deserted island with a souvenir," she laughed.

"It's a  _Hozen_ ," he explained. "And in Buddhism it symbolizes reconnecting… I kept it in hopes that one day it would reconnect me with you."

Taking it from his outstretched hand, she folded her lips as she smiled and pressed the rock to her heart in appreciation, staring up at him, touched by the gesture.

"A rock… that is  _sweet_ ," Tommy's voice interrupted from the door.

Amused, Oliver inhaled deeply, smirking to himself as he barely refrained from shaking his head at his best friend's timing.

Advancing into the room, Tommy continued, "You know, I want one of those t-shirts that says 'My friend was a castaway and all I got was this crappy shirt.'" He laughed as he stood, looking between them.

Rolling her eyes, Thea turned her attention back to Oliver. "Don't let him get you into too much trouble… you justgot back." She leaned in for a hug while ordering him, "Take it slow."

Oliver squeezed her close, smiling to himself.

"The city awaits," Tommy said as they broke apart.

While Oliver moved toward the door, however, Tommy lingered to speak to Thea.

"Lemme guess, you wanna know if I've talked to Felicity this morning…"

Oliver slowed his steps, his head tipped, listening into their conversation.

"She's ignoring my texts."

"Probably because you put her on party planning detail… You know she likes to give you the cold shoulder when you leave her holding the bag."

"But she's  _always_ holding the bag; shouldn't we be past the silent treatment by now?"

"Don't you have things to do? Like reintroducing my brother to his hometown?"

"Fine… I can take a hint." He started backing up, his footsteps ushering Oliver out the door, continuing to act as if he hadn't heard what they'd been talking about.

Unfortunately, his eavesdropping had only left him with more questions. He shouldn't be surprised about the party; when wasn't there a party with Tommy around? But what really bothered him was that it still hadn't given him the answer he really wanted. What were Tommy and Felicity to each other? Was their familiarity a product of five years of friendship or something more? Clearly Tommy relied on and trusted her with things, but just how far did that reach?

Meeting him in the hallway, Tommy raised his brows at Oliver. "All right, Buddy, ready to go?" He clapped him on the shoulder before cheerfully taking the lead out of the house.

Oliver followed after him, all the while wondering how exactly he was supposed to broach the subject of Felicity Smoak.

* * *

Felicity hated phones. They were officially on her hitlist. Why couldn't everybody just bow to the tech age and work through email? Of course, she probably wouldn't have gotten her work done nearly as quickly if she was relying solely on the ability of another person to check and answer all of their emails… Maybe there were a few kinks to work out in her plan still.

Regardless, she hated having to call around to book an event. More, she hated that she was calling to book an entire club. Even after five years of watching Tommy throw his cash at everything that moved, she still felt a little out of her depth when she saw the numbers rack up for big things like this. Of course, it wasn't like she often bought out whole clubs for a night. Except for the last three years on Tommy's birthday and, even then, that was technically on his tab at his behest. But even now she still felt that lead bolt in her stomach when they told her how much it was going to cost, and that wasn't even counting the caterer that she had to hire especially for the event because, quote, "Clubs don't have food, Felicity. Oliver's been living on coconuts and pineapples for five years, you don't think we should have a buffet set up?"

Frankly, no. She'd seen how he barely touched his food at dinner; she imagined his diet had changed significantly and it would take a while for him to readjust. But if Tommy wanted food, she'd order food, and, considering how many people he expected to be there, she'd order a lot of it. Between the food, the alcohol, and the club, the bill was enough to send her into heart palpitations, but it wouldn't be her footing it, so she tried not to cringe.

She had narrowed it down to three of the hottest clubs in Starling City. Two were willing to give her a deal on the price because of how much publicity they stood to gain on having Oliver Queen's first outing at their establishment, but the third one wasn't budging. She couldn't blame them; they were currently doing amazing business and it would only look good on Oliver to make his triumphant return to the  _top_ club versus the second or third.

However, Felicity didn't really care what TMZ had to say about it, and, frankly, she preferred an underdog, which was why she was giving it to number three and offering to boost their ratings with Oliver's high class mug. Hours later, when she had the plans all nailed down, she sent an anonymous tip to TMZ and a few paparazzi who weren't completely jerks to let them know the time and place it would be held. Then, work mostly done, she climbed from her chair to refill her coffee mug, a hand on her back as she twisted and turned to get the kinks out from leaning into her computer screen for too long.

Taking her tablet with her, she plopped down on her loveseat and told herself a fifteen minute break was just what she deserved.

She didn't count on falling asleep five minutes in, but hey, she deserved a nap after the mentally exhausting last two days.

* * *

Oliver peered out the window of Tommy's silver SLR McLaren, absently taking in the brick buildings that had seen better days.

"Your funeral  _blew_ ," Tommy informed him.

"You get laid?"

"Like fish in a barrel," he laughed. "They were so  _sad_ and  _huggy_ … And I am counting on another target-rich environment for your welcome home bash."

Deciding it was best to feign ignorance, Oliver shook his head, his brow furrowed. "Wait, my what?"

"You came back from the  _dead!_ This calls for a party." He waved a hand. "Don't worry though, I've got it covered. I got my best girl on it, all right? She's probably spent her whole morning comparing clubs. I bet she's got files made on all of them and she's tallying up their chances as we speak. If I know Felicity, she'll break it down to a top three list and then twist their arms into giving her a deal. And  _then_ , because she's a soft-hearted angel, she's going to go with the underdog." He snapped his fingers, grinning. "Which is fine, I mean, it's still top three, right?"

Oliver stared at his profile for a moment, caught between a grin and a grimace. "Right…" He nodded, turning his gaze out to the road. "You, uh… You rely on Felicity for a lot of these kinds of things?"

Tommy glanced at him, his eyebrows screwed up. And then he blinked, his expression clearing. "Are you…" He laughed. "Are you asking me if Felicity and I are sleeping together?"

His lips pursed faintly, but he didn't respond.

"No, it's okay, you can ask…" he encouraged, his lips turned up at the corner. "You want the truth?" He dragged it out. "Yeah, yeah we have. Five years is a long time, right? I mean, we were both grieving, emotions were high, one thing led to another…"

Oliver licked his lips, taking a deep breath, and resisted the urge to crack his neck, his shoulders tensing up.

"Really," he said, his voice carefully devoid of emotion.

"I mean, did she call out your name in throes of passion?  _Sure_. But so did I." Tommy shrugged. "It was a hard time; we were both having trouble readjusting… No judgement."

Oliver turned to face him, his brow cocked.

With a smirk, Tommy rolled his eyes. "No.  _No_ , of course we aren't sleeping together. Are you kidding?" He shook his head. "Well, we did kiss once, a few years back, and I've asked her to marry me a few times when I was drunk, but… No regrets, man. Felicity's… She's my best friend. I don't know if I could've made it through the last five years without her." He scoffed, his expression taking on an uncharacteristic seriousness. "No way was I going to screw that up with sex."

Relief flooded him. He would have respected her decision if she'd chosen to be with Tommy. Hadn't she been teasing him about that right before he left? But he couldn't say he wasn't happy that she and Tommy hadn't gone beyond friendship. Of course, that didn't mean she'd be any more receptive to him, it just meant he didn't have the obstacle of his best friend facing him. Then again, that didn't mean there weren't other men to contend with. Felicity was a smart, beautiful woman, it wouldn't surprise him if she had a number of men knocking down her door for her attention. Hadn't he, the proverbial bachelor, spent 9 months doing just that?

"Sounds like you've done some growing up while I was away."

"Maybe a little." Tommy took an abrupt turn, coming to a stop at a red light. He frowned at the collection of homeless people on the corner across the road. Make-shift shelters of cardboard and plastic were pressed against an old, abandoned brick building. An oil drum was surrounded by three men, warming their hands over a fire burning inside.

"This city's gone to  _crap_ ," he complained. "Y'know, your dad sold his factory just in time."

Oliver turned his head to peer out the window at the factory in the distance, through the chain link fence.  _Queen Industrial Inc. Steel Fabrication & Welding_ read the faded writing.

"Why'd you want to drive through this neighborhood anyway?"

His expression became intense, brow raised as he mentally went over the calculations in his head. "No reason," he answered.

"So what'd you miss most?" Tommy grinned at him. "Steaks at the Palm? Drinks at The Station? Meaningless sex?"

"Do you even have to ask?" he wondered, staring down at his lap a moment.

Slowly, Tommy's face fell. "Felicity."

Oliver didn't reply, remaining stoically quiet for a moment.

"Look, what I said before, it was probably in bad taste. Truth is, Felicity took it pretty hard when you went missing… I think she was confused, you know? You guys were kind of…  _undefined_." The light above turned green and the car surged forward. "I don't think she really knew if she was allowed to grieve, so she spent a lot of time trying not to." He shrugged, shifting in his seat a little. "She buried herself in work, put a lot of energy into me and Thea… It was hard, watching her do that to herself." He sighed. "I don't know what to tell you… If you want to know if Felicity is going to be open to picking things up where they were…"

"No." Oliver lifted his chin and turned to him. "Not where they were. I wasn't ready then. I wasn't serious enough."

Tommy eyed him speculatively before turning his attention back to the road. "And now?"

He inhaled deeply and said, with all sincerity, "I'm ready."

A few beats passed before he nodded. "Okay… If you wanna do this, I'll support you. I can't guarantee she'll go for it, but if you want, I'll put in a good word for you."

Oliver half-smiled. "I'd appreciate it."

"Great." Tommy checked the time on his dash. "Why don't we get some breakfast and then swing by QC? We'll bring her favorite from Starbucks, surprise attack her; it'll be just like old times."

His lips twitched, but he shook his head. "One stop first."

Brows furrowed, he asked, "All right, where to?"

"I think it's called…" His brow furrowed as he thought back to the Google search he'd executed the night before, "City Necessary Resources Initiative…?"

Tommy blinked. "You want to go to CNRI?" He turned to look at him searchingly, his shoulders stiff. "Laurel Lance? You want to go see the  _one_ person in the city who isn't happy you're back?"

He turned to him, his expression serious. "I owe her an apology… If it wasn't for me, she'd still have her sister."

Staring at him a long moment, he finally let out a long sigh. "Fine. But if she decks you, I'll take a picture and hang it in your room to remind you of all the reasons you shouldn't be selfless." With that, he pressed his foot down a little harder on the gas pedal, bringing Oliver closer to a small chance at redemption.

Oliver couldn't help but notice that Tommy didn't need to use the GPS, as if he visited CNRI often.

* * *

"We don't need to go outside the law—"

"To find justice. Your dad's favorite jingle."

Oliver looked over, taking his attention off the pin board covered in information on Adam Hunt, currently number one on his list. He turned to face the young woman who slowed down as she spotted him. She was pretty; he could see the familiarity between her and Sara, especially in her smile and the way her cheeks seemed to get even rounder. But her smile fled quickly as she laid eyes on him and he felt guilt stir angrily in his stomach.

"Miss. Lance," he said, his tone solemn.

She stared at him, her eyes a little wide. "Ye—Uh, yes…" She swallowed thickly and glanced away briefly. "What… What are you doing here?"

He lifted his chin a little higher. "I didn't mean to catch you off guard. I tried calling earlier, but everything sounded so busy that I wasn't sure the message would get to you." He wasn't sure what to do with his hands; part of him wanted to tuck them away in the pockets of his jacket, another part wanted to fiddle with them, tugging at the fingers in a sign of discomfort.

Laurel took a look around the busy room and sighed. "We can't do this here." She reached for her jacket. "Johanna, I won't be long."

"Sure," her friend agreed, nodding as she eyed Oliver uncertainly.

He offered a faint smile, but knew that it would do little to comfort anyone. He followed silently behind Laurel as she made her way outside. The building CNRI worked out of was all right, if cluttered. It was in the Glades, so it wasn't the best condition it could be, but they'd obviously put some work in to get it to a liveable condition. As much as he wanted to comment on it, however, he knew she wouldn't appreciate anything he had to say.

She slowed to a stop just outside of the building, folding her arms over her chest as she turned to face him, her expression stony.

He turned his gaze away from her unforgiving eyes for a moment, taking in the street, more than half of the buildings wearing graffiti and gang signs. He went over the speech he'd put together in his head, but everything he'd come up with seemed so useless now, holding none of the weight necessary to be worthy of her forgiveness.

"I owe you an apology…" he began, finally turning to face her.

He could see her jaw tick as she ground her teeth. "Is that what this is…? You  _absolving_ yourself of any kind of guilt?"

His gaze fell briefly. "No," he said honestly. "Apologizing to you won't make any of it better… I'll still remember what happened and what part I played in it. Sara was… She was a good person and she didn't deserve what happened to her."

" _Don't_ …" her voice shook with the intensity of her anger. "Don't talk about her like you  _knew_ her. You…  _You_ spent,  _what?_ A few  _days_ with her and you think you know what she was like?" Her eyes brimmed with tears. "You were just some drunk asshole who took a complete  _stranger_ on a yacht for fun!" She laughed abruptly, the bitterness palpable. "And by some completely twisted karma, my sister, who has never done a terrible thing in her  _life_ , gets caught up in your stupid charm and just… just  _takes off_ , just throws her whole life away…" She threw her hands up. " _Literally!_ "

He stood silently by, letting her get it out.

"And it's so…" She stepped away from him, beginning to pace back and forth. "It's stupid, because I can't blame you, I can't blame her…" She shook her head. "It was a freak accident, right? A  _storm_ …" She rubbed a hand over her trembling mouth. "But I do. I  _do_ blame you… Because you're  _here_. And she's not." She turned to face him, her expression dark. "We buried an  _empty_ coffin, because her body is at the bottom of the ocean… Where you  _left_ her."

He swallowed thickly and met her eyes. "I know that it is too late to say this, but I am sorry."

She turned her head away, a tear finally escaping down her cheek. She swiped it away quickly. "Maybe you are… Maybe you really mean it. But I… I can't… I can't accept it." Letting out a shaky breath, she turned, making way back inside the building.

Oliver stood there a long minute before finally nodding. That went about as good as he could expect. He'd never lied to himself; he always knew the chances of Sara's family forgiving him were slim to none. But still, there was a tiny spark of hope that somehow Laurel would see how genuinely sorry he was that he was the reason her sister was dead.

He walked down the sidewalk toward where Tommy was waiting, leaned back against a wrought-iron fence.

"So? Did that blow up in your face as much as I thought it would?"

"She didn't deck me, so not  _quite_ like you thought."

"The day's early, my friend. You could always run into her later."

He snorted. "Something to look forward to."

Pushing off the fence, they walked toward the empty alleyway Tommy had parked his car. Oliver was fairly sure it wasn't meant for public parking, but when had that every stopped them?

Tommy tucked his hands away in the pockets of his jacket to ward off the morning chill still lingering in the air. "Okay, so we got that out of the way. Good call. Now we're ready to make up for lost time," he said cheerfully. "If you're not too sick of fish, I suggest we go find some leggy models and eat sushi off them. What do you say—?"

Behind them, a van suddenly came barreling through, creaking with age and misuse.

"What the hell?!" Tommy exclaimed, turning abruptly to face the van, confused.

From the other direction, two masked attackers appeared.

Raising a dart gun, one shot Tommy in the back, who fell to the ground, knocked out immediately. The other raised his own gun toward Oliver, which he caught instinctively. A door opened to the left of him, a man exiting, calling out, "Hey!" in surprise. A spatter of semi-automatic fire shot him down where he stood.

Unable to stop himself, Oliver fell against the back of Tommy's car and slid to his knees, struggling to keep his eyes open and on the opponents that were quickly surrounding him. His vision started to flicker as he stared up at the red, ghoulish mask peering down at him. Tommy was being tied up a few feet away while Oliver's mind began to war against him.

As he fell unconscious, he dreamt of his father, of the lifeboat they'd escaped on and his dad admitting that he wasn't the man Oliver thought he was. " _I didn't build the city, I failed it… And I wasn't the only one."_

It echoed in his ears as he was forced back to consciousness.

A bag was ripped from his head and he was against faced with the ghoulish masked men who'd taken him and Tommy.

"Mr. Queen.  _Mr. Queen!_ " the ringleader exclaimed, demanding attention. A taser was held up for him to see and sparked twice.

Oliver quickly took stock of himself and his surroundings. It was dark and damp, shafts of sunlight slipped through slitted windows high on the warehouse walls. The space was large and empty except for random clutters of useless, forgotten supplies. He was sitting on a single, wooden chair, his arms zip-tied behind him. Not far away, Tommy was laid out on a wooden pallet, unmoving.

"Did your father survive that accident?"

Oliver looked from him to the other masked man, this one unarmed, his eyesight still a little hazy, and he stretched his wrists apart, testing the strength of the zip ties.

"I ask the questions, you give the answers."

Oliver didn't answer, and the man looked behind him toward a third man, this one holding a Galil 5.56mm. Irritated with Oliver's lack of response, he held out his arms, silently asking his armed friend what to do now.

Turning his attention back to Oliver, he stabbed the taser against his chest.

Crying out, Oliver's chest pushed forward, a shock running abruptly throughout him, stinging every nerve-ending into terrible reply. His knees lifted, body desperate to curl into itself and seek protection from the pain. He panted through clenched teeth, spittle flying from his lips, as the taser was taken away, aftershocks still zipping through him.

"Did he make it to that island? Did he tell you anything?"

Oliver glared at the ground, brow furrowed tightly, his lips drawn back from his teeth in a snarl.

When he received no response, the man pressed the taser against Oliver's chest again.

He didn't holler this time, only shaking his head as he angrily groaned in protest.

Seconds passed as Oliver tried to catch his breath, pushing past the pain to the well of anger inside him, simmering and vengeful. "Yes, he did," he finally said.

The man nodded, seemingly triumphant in getting Oliver to talk.

He leaned in close, hands braced on his knees, and queried, "What did he tell you, Mr. Queen?"

Oliver let out a breath, watching as it puffed up in a cloud in the cold air. He stared at Tommy's unmoving frame, his face slack, and his breath coming a little quicker. He slowly raised his head, a muscle twitching in his jaw. He glared up at the masked man from beneath the heavy weight of his brows. "He told me I'm gonna kill you," he said, his voice lethal and dark.

He laughed, turning to his two cohorts, encouraging them to laugh along with him, and then he returned his attention to Oliver and leaned in close. "You're delusional. You're zip-cuffed to that chair."

He barely restrained himself, his first instinct to attack, but took a moment to watch the man as he stood upright, his feet shifting anxiously.

Oliver drew his arms forward then, no longer cuffed at all. "Not anymore."

Immediately, the second, unarmed man reached for his pocketed gun, while the man with all the questions took a swing at him. Ducking, Oliver pulled his chair up from under him and blocked the oncoming attack, pushing forward to knock the man off balance. He turned to the second attacker then and slammed the seat of the chair into his throat. Snapping off a wooden peg from the back rest, he then pivoted to stab it into the chest of the man wielding his taser. Blocking his arm, Oliver twisted it around so his assailant tased himself in the neck. Hearing the third man's approach, he quickly turned them around, his arm locked around his neck to hold him up as a shield. A barrage of bullets flew, making the man Oliver held nothing but dead weight. He let him drift to the ground in a slump and his last opponent turned to run away.

Oliver lurched forward, bending down to check Tommy's pulse, his fingers drifting under the cover of his jacket collar, finding his neck and the steady pulse beating away. Assuring himself that his friend was alive and would be okay, he continued on to pursue the fleeing man, unaware that Tommy's eyelids had drifted open, consciousness quickly returning.

He caught up with the assailant quickly enough, but when he turned to rattle off a few bullets, Oliver was forced to seek cover, climbing up a set of rickety wood stairs and pulling himself up onto a covered platform. He continued making his way up the building, out of sight, and kept his attacker within range, tracking him until they had both exited the building. While the masked man had found a set of stairs from a lower vantage point, Oliver was higher and so had to frog-leap his way onto a metal beam, barely pausing before he jumped down to the patchy roof below, executing a roll before he found his feet once more.

Hearing him, the man turned and took aim, but while his gun continued to fire as he followed Oliver's descent, sliding down the sloped roof, he wasn't quick enough to catch up to him. Dropping his gun, he ran down the rest of the stairs to the alleyway below and turned sharply to race away from him. Oliver leapt off the roof and hit the wall of an adjacent building. Finding a foot hole, however, he merely ping-ponged his way from one wall to the other, a few feet lower each time, until he was on the ground in a crouch. Arms pumping at his sides, he took after him once more, this time much closer.

They ducked into a different building and the man finally rid himself of his mask, letting it fall, useless to the ground, as he turned to face Oliver, his gun raised. Oliver appeared on a metal plateau and gunfire trailed him as he raced across it, leaping off to grab a long chain, which he then used to swing himself around toward his kidnapper, who was now struggling with his jammed gun. Oliver released the chain and quickly caught him, his arm around his neck, bending him backwards.

"You killed that man," Oliver accused, holding him in a headlock.

"You don't have to do this," the kidnapper pleaded, struggling to get Oliver's arm off of him, but it only squeezed, tightening around his throat.

He winced at the words, his teeth clenched. "Yes, I do," he said quietly. "Nobody can know my secret." With that, he very abruptly twisted the man's neck, snapping it entirely. He released his hold and the man fell to the ground in a mass of useless limbs. No longer breathing or talking or moving. He was dead, and Oliver stared down at him for a long moment before releasing a sigh.

It wasn't the first man he'd killed, not by far.

And it wouldn't be the last.

* * *

Felicity was freaking out.

No, freaking out didn't even cover it. What she was feeling was on a whole new level. Somebody would have to come up with a new word to describe just how terrified and worked up she was. She'd been napping. Peacefully, at that, until her door was thrown open and Rudy marched inside.

"Tommy's been kidnapped!" he blurted out, bouncing back and forth on his feet, his eyes wide with stres.

"Wh- _What_?"

"It—It's okay!" he assured, nodding quickly. "He's fine now. He and Oliver Queen were attacked, they were taken somewhere, but they got out. Honestly, they're fine. No injuries, or at least that's what Mr. Steele said when he called. They're at Queen's now. Everything's fine, but I thought you'd want to know, so…"

All she heard was "Tommy was kidnapped" and then she was on her feet. She almost forgot her heels. She was out of it, her head still fuzzy with sleep. She needed her bag, her shoes, did she have her keys? Should she even be driving, shaking as bad as she was? No, apparently not. Rudy said he called her a cab and Felicity almost hugged him for it. But they'd just had that conference on sexual harassment in the work place and some part of her, obviously weird, brain told her not to.

She took the elevator down to the main floor, all the while pacing from one end to the other; it was enough to scare off people on two different floors from joining her on the descent. Apparently finding an anxious woman on the elevator wasn't what they signed up for. Having left her hair down, she tried to busy her hands with combing through the curls, twining it around her fingers and tugging. It was only when they got caught and started causing knots that she stopped, only to start fiddling with the folds of her red silk blouse.

Finally, the elevator reached the main floor and she could barely wait for the doors to open before she raced across the lobby and outside to the waiting taxi. The ride to Queen Mansion, which she'd made a thousand times before, was nerve-wracking. What did 'okay' mean? Did that mean he was uninjured or just alive? Well, he couldn't be  _too_ injured if he wasn't in the hospital… But what about mental scarring? Oh, God, what if he was completely and totally destroyed? What if he was suffering from PTSD or something? That happened, right? That was common after something like this? Being kidnapped was traumatic…

She paused in her thoughts, because, well, Oliver had just spent five years on a deserted island… He probably had PTSD. And getting kidnapped likely didn't help. How was he dealing with it? Was he okay? She couldn't remember if Rudy had said anything more outside of the fact that he was kidnapped too. Was he injured? Confused? He'd probably had to deal with a lot since coming back. He hadn't been back in Starling City long and already his life was in danger.

Groaning, she ran a hand down her face.

She wanted to text Thea, but she wasn't sure how much she knew and she didn't want to scare her since she didn't have any answers if Thea had questions of her own. She considered texting Tommy, but she would rather set eyes on him in person. Even if he was hurt, she doubted he'd mention it over text. He'd play the humor card and she was in no mood for him covering up an obviously big deal.

The car came to a halt suddenly and she realized that all of her mental rambling had taken up the time it took to get to Queen Mansion. There were unfamiliar cars out front that she assumed were police, or, hopefully, added security. Felicity quickly paid what she owed and gave the man a hefty tip before she exited, rushing inside, not bothering to knock or wait on any of the staff to direct her.

She raced through the halls until she reached the sitting room. It was a little more crowded than she expected. Moira and Walter sat on one sofa, while Oliver and Tommy took up another, all four of them facing a familiar detective, while his partner, Detective Hilton, stood near the window looking out on the grounds. Lastly, Raisa stood to the side, her arms crossed in front of her, hand wrapped around her wrist.

"So that's your story? A guy in a green hood flew in and single-handedly took out  _three_ armed kidnappers?"

Her breath caught in her throat, evidently making a noise as all eyes turned to her. She didn't know there were tears in her eyes until one spilled down her cheek. It was a mixture of relief and concern that had her so overwhelmed.

Tommy was up and out of his seat as soon as he saw her. "Felicity!"

"Three!? There were  _three_ kidnappers?" She pushed forward, reaching for him. "Are you  _okay?_ Did they hurt you?" she wondered, looking him over worriedly as she reached out to pat his arms and chest, looking for any kind of injuries.

"Just my pride, really." He grinned reassuringly. "I was out cold for most of it." He caught her hands and pulled her forward, wrapping her in a hug. "I'm fine, I promise."

She let out a heavy sigh, her arms wrapping around him tightly. She shook her head against him, closing her eyes. "Rudy said you were kidnapped. I—I didn't know what to do. I just… I didn't ask questions; I just needed to see you."

He chuckled under his breath. "You? Didn't ask questions?"

"Shut up," she muttered, relaxing a little more.

Letting go of her, he stepped back, his hands rubbing her arms comfortingly. He stared into her eyes, searching her gaze. "We're fine, both of us."

She paused then, her eyes slowly moving to the right, taking in Oliver, sitting quietly on the couch, his posture stiff. He stared right back at her, something unreadable in his face.

She struggled with what to say. Should she hug him too, or…?

"I—I'm glad." She swallowed tightly and glanced away from Oliver's intense eyes to see the detective sitting there, not quite as patiently as he could be. "Hey, Detective Lance. Not the best circumstances to see each other again."

He offered her a faint smile. "No, it isn't. But not every day can be lasagna night."

Her brow furrowed suddenly. "I… I'm sorry, did you say that the person who saved them was wearing a  _hood?_ "

"According to him, yeah." His eyes cut toward Tommy as he flipped up a drawing of a hooded figure. "What about you…? Did you see the hood guy?"

"I saw…" Tommy hesitated, glancing at Oliver and then back to Detective Lance. "Just movement. Everything blurry. Uh, I was kind of out of it."

"Yeah…" Detective Lance smiled, but it was lacking the warmth Felicity had seen in the past. He turned to look at Oliver, his voice taking on a much darker tone. "It's funny, isn't it? One day back and already somebody is gunning for you. Aren't you popular?"

Moira's expression hardened. "Were you able to identify the men?" she asked, drawing his attention to her.

"Scrubbed identities, untraceable weapons; these were pros," Hilton replied.

"Yeah," Lance sighed. "They probably figured you'd pay a King's ransom to get your boy back. Or a  _Queen's_  ransom, as it were..."

Moira turned her gaze away, looking exasperated with his attitude.

He snickered under his breath and returned his attention to Oliver. "After all, a parent would do anything to keep their child safe."

Oliver stared back at him, and Felicity found herself looking between the two men. She'd known Detective Lance for a few years now and knew why he didn't like Oliver. She could even, in some way, understand why he blamed him, not that she completely agreed. As much as she didn't approve of Oliver's behavior, Sara's death was an accident. Oliver couldn't control the weather; that storm was unexpected and couldn't be helped. So as much as she understood the Detective's anger, she could also be a little more objective about the situation. But this wasn't her place, she wasn't going to get in between them and make it any worse.

That didn't stop Moira from doing just that, however. "I don't find your tone appropriate, Detective."

Walter stood up then, drawing attention to him. "If Oliver can think of anything else, we'll be in touch." He passed a look between him and Hilton. "Thank you, gentleman, for coming."

Offering a sarcastic grin, Lance reached down and grabbed his bag, putting away the sketch as he stood from his chair. He nodded his head in farewell to Moira and Walter and then turned to Oliver, who had risen from his couch, too.

"Your luck never seems to run out, does it?" After an intense few seconds staring him down, Lance finally turned, walking toward his partner before they followed Raisa out of the sitting room.

The tension in the room was palpable. Felicity swallowed tightly, looking between everybody before turning her head up to look at Tommy. "You're sure you're okay? You're not dizzy? I read some tranquilizers can have bad side effects… Like, maybe you didn't know you were allergic to something in them. Well, it's not like your kidnappers would really look into that kind of thing… Although, that'd be really effective. I mean, if somebody wanted to take me out, all they'd need is a peanut. A lot more effective and definitely cheaper than paying black market prices for tranquilizers…"

He grinned down at her, amused by her rambling. "You know what, you're right?"

"I am? Oh god." Her eyes widened. "Oh God, what hurts? Do you need to sit down? Do you want water? Should I call somebody?"

"I'm kinda hungry. I was thinking… mm, Italian. You know, that one place, on the corner, by the flower shop?"

Her face fell and, taking a deep breath, she pulled a fist back and punched him in the shoulder. "You jerk! I was really worried!"

He laughed lightly, squeezing an arm around her shoulders. "I'm fine,  _really_. It was one kidnapping." He rolled his eyes. "Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier."

"Not. Funny," she grumbled, punching his arm again.

"All right, okay." He bent to kiss her forehead. "Listen, I'm going to make a call, put in a reservation for us at the Italian place, all right? If it'll make you feel better, we can talk about what happened… Even though you and I both know you'll probably just hack the SCPD files and see for yourself."

She pursed her lips to hide her smile because, yeah, okay, that's exactly what she planned on doing later.

Giving her shoulders another squeeze, he finally disengaged and moved to walk away, pulling his phone from his pocket to call the restaurant.

It wasn't until he was out of sight that she realized what he'd done. She turned around and found that Walter and Moira had left, leaving only Oliver in the room. He stood by the window, his expression tight, and she found herself wondering if he was going over Quentin's words in his head. Did he feel guilty about Sara? Did he blame himself for what had happened? Part of her wanted to ask while another part didn't think she had the right.

She twisted her hands together, struggling with what to say, wondering if she should even say anything. Maybe she should just follow Tommy out, see where he'd wandered to and leave this whole Oliver thing completely alone. But the rational part of her brain piped up; this was Oliver's house, yes, but it was also Thea's. She would be here, and often, so she needed to get over this irrational discomfort around him. It couldn't go on like this, with this weird unsaid 'thing' between them.

Finally, gathering her strength, she walked toward him, her eyes taking in the tall, broad form he cut, the sun dappling over his shoulders and making his hair seem brighter. Cut as it was, she almost couldn't see the blond that threaded through it. It fit him, she thought, probably better than the longer look he'd sported years ago.

"You're okay?" she asked, jumping in with both feet.

His head swiveled toward her.

"I mean, obviously you're not okay, dumb phrasing. You were just marooned on an island for five years and now you're back and, in less than 36 hours, you've been kidnapped." She waved a hand. "'Okay' probably isn't in the same stratosphere of where you're at. It's just— It's just one of those things, right? Those really awkward fillers that people use when they feel weird but they think they should say something and they don't want to be impolite. Not— Not that talking to you makes me uncomfortable or anything. Or, well, it didn't. I mean, this is the first conversation we've had and it's pretty much all me rambling, so I'm not really sure if that exactly helps my point or hinders it. I guess I won't know until I stop babbling like an idiot, which I'm going to do in 3, 2, 1…" She blew out a shaky breath and reached up to readjust her glasses, giving him a trembling smile.

It was adrenaline, she told herself. Leftover from the fear coursing through her when she thought Tommy, her best friend, was hurt. She'd had friends before, of course. Although most of them didn't come until college, where she was a lot more accepted than in high school. But none of them were quite as close to her as Tommy was. He was her rock. These last five years, as terrible and emotional as they'd been, had also been some of her best. Because of his friendship, she was confident and happy. Yes, he sometimes caused more trouble than anything, but she could handle that. It was never anything so insane that a little hacking and admonishment couldn't fix. So yes, it was adrenaline; that was why she was acting so ridiculously.

But when Oliver grinned at her then, ducking his head a little and letting out a laugh under his breath, it wasn't adrenaline that made her stomach twist and flip, or her heart hammer a little harder in her chest; it was something else. Something she definitely wanted to completely ignore.

"I'm fine," he said, nodding his head a little as he stepped toward her, his eyes washing over her face. "Kidnappers are taken care of, Tommy and I got out okay, I think I'd put it down as a win in the book."

"Well, except for the part where they were professional kidnappers, which probably means they were hired by somebody and not doing it completely of their own planning."

He blinked at her, looking a little surprised, his head tipping as he stared at her thoughtfully. "Except that," he said, his voice a little mystified.

"You're in good hands, if it helps…" She rolled her eyes. "I mean, yeah, Detective Lance doesn't really like you, but he's a great detective and, if there's a lead to follow, he'll find it."

He paused for a moment. "You know him well?" he wondered.

"I do…" She shifted her feet. "There was a group. A, uh, grief group, actually. We had a memorial for everyone who was lost on… on the Queen's Gambit and we wanted to have some kind of counseling group when we realized how many were affected." She swallowed thickly. "And, well, he and Laurel came to it. Or, um, I guess Laurel went and then she kind of dragged him to it. She was hoping it would help, I guess… She was really worried about him. So…" She nodded. "I met them there, Tommy and I both did. Laurel and I are friends. The group doesn't really meet anymore, life kind of got the best of us, but… We stay in touch."

"Lasagna night," he said softly.

"Yeah." She half-smiled. "Yeah, open invitation to Tommy and me. I don't get out as often as I'd like, but… I try to."

He stared at her another long moment. "I… I didn't expect you to be here." He winced. "I don't mean today. You and… Tommy, you guys are close. I just… I mean at dinner, the other night. I wasn't expecting you."

She nodded, casting her eyes away. "Yeah, I… It was stupid, expecting them to warn you. Why waste the unnecessary drama, right?" she muttered sarcastically. "Tommy introduced me to Thea not long after you… disappeared. She was having a tough time, she didn't have a lot of friends who could understand, so… We started coming around more, spending time with her. We got close. And then…" She shrugged. "Walter started coming around too, trying to help your mom, and things just started to come together, you know?"

"Yeah…" He dropped his gaze to the floor. A few beats passed in silence, but she wasn't sure if they were uncomfortable. Maybe less so than before, but still noticeably empty.

"You know, I… I had this plan that when I saw you again, I would just know what to say, but… Here you are and… And I'm…" He shook his head, his mouth screwed up with a frown.

"You don't have to say anything." She shook her head, stepping toward him. "Oliver, what happened, the storm and… and the island… I can't imagine how awful that was for you. I really can't. But I know that your family is  _blessed_ to have you back. They're  _ecstatic_." She smiled up at him. "And Tommy, I mean… I can't even put into words how happy he is to have his best friend back."

"From what I hear, he made a new one."

His voice wasn't bitter and, for that, she was thankful. She stared up at him, her heart skittering in her chest. "When you went missing, I had Tommy on my doorstep every night, drunk and broken and lost… And I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to help him or make it better, so I let him in and I let him talk and I tried to be his friend. I told myself that whatever happened to you, the only thing I could do to make that a little better was take care of the people you loved. So I did." She shrugged a little, her gaze falling. "I'm glad you're back… For Tommy and Thea and your mother… They deserve to have you back."

And a weight felt like it had lifted from her shoulders. Suddenly she didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable, because she'd said what she wanted to say. And now he knew. She was ready to step back, to find Tommy, and leave it at that, but then his voice reached out.

"And you?" he wondered.

She raised her eyes once more to meet his searching gaze.

"Are you glad I'm back for you?"

"Oliver," she said, his name a strangled, rasping noise that made her want to clear her throat and pretend she wasn't completely distracted by the way he was looking at her.

This wasn't how it had been before. The Oliver she remembered was lighthearted, rarely taking anything serious. The only time she could remember him being serious was when he made that big speech about how he wanted to be better, he wanted to be with her and he was going to change his life to do it. And two days later, he left on a yacht with another woman.

It was that memory that made her take a large step back, her resolve steeling herself against him. "I'm here for your family," she said with certainty.

His face clouded then and he turned his eyes away. "Then they're lucky to have you."

"Don't get me wrong, because I'm happy that you're okay. Really, I am. I… I spent a long time wishing for that." She shrugged her shoulders high. "I never really stopped wishing for that. But it wasn't for me… It wasn't because I wanted you to come home and  _whisk_  me off my feet like you promised…" Her hands clenched then, fingernails digging into her palms. "It's not like it was then. I don't want it to be."

He winced, but turned around, no longer facing her, his gaze on the yard. "I made a promise to you that I would come back better… I know I haven't proved that to you yet, but I will."

She let out a faint laugh then and he looked back at her, his brow furrowed.

"You made a lot of promises, Oliver." She stared at him, a humorless smile turning up one side of her lips. "Look, I… I don't want us to be on bad terms. Between Tommy and Thea, we'll be seeing a lot of each other, so… Let's just put our past behind us, okay?" She offered a real smile then. "No hard feelings, I promise."

He shook his head faintly. "You have every right to be angry with me," he tried.

"No, I don't." She shook her head. "Oliver, you and me, that was… It was never going anywhere, okay? We were too different. We liked each other, but it never would have worked. Trust me, I have spent five years going over the 'what-if's' and it was a no-win situation." Oh, she'd gone over the what-if's. So many times she could reiterate them to him like a well-read book. Some of them ended happily ever after, but she'd long ago convinced herself those were the dreams of a naïve girl. Shaking her head, she stepped forward. "So we start over, as friends, okay? Here, I'll start." She held her hand out expectantly. "Hi, I'm Felicity Smoak…"

He stared at her hand a long moment before finally reaching forward, his hand sliding into hers and squeezing. He just held it, not saying anything for a long moment. It was warm and callused, so large that it seemed to swamp her. She swallowed tightly, angry at herself for enjoying the all-encompassing weight and warmth of his grip.

The spell was broken when finally he murmured, "Oliver Queen."

And she breathed a sigh of relief even as her traitorous heart sunk. Because some part of her wanted him to say something else, anything else, to fight for her and show her that he wouldn't just accept what she was offering. But another part, the part she knew was the far saner survivalist in her, knew that this was right. This would save them both from heartbreak.

"Felicity? We've got a table reserved for 6," Tommy's voice called as he returned. "Did you want a ride back to QC? I'm on my way out."

She stared down at the hand still holding hers, Oliver's thumb gently running over her knuckles. "Y-Yeah," she called over her shoulder before slowly drawing her hand back. Clearing her throat, she shifted, smoothing out a non-existent wrinkle in her black pencil skirt. "I guess I'll see you around."

He nodded down at her, before he let his eyes sweep over her form and he stepped back.

Turning on her heel to leave, she only paused as he called out, "You look beautiful… Even more than I remember."

She looked back at him over her shoulder, reading the sincerity in his face, and she silently railed against the butterflies fluttering up a storm in her stomach. "That's not starting over," she muttered.

He grinned then, laughing a little under his breath. "I've never been good at that."

She pushed herself to keep walking, to leave behind that handsome, smiling man who'd shadowed too many of her thoughts these last five years. But even as her steps echoed and she followed a chatty Tommy outside to her car, she found herself distracted.

She told Oliver she wanted to start over, she wanted to put it all behind them and just be friends. But she wasn't so sure how true that had been. Yes, she wanted to still be a part of his life, and given her choice of friends it was pretty obvious she would be whether she wanted to or not. But even if she wanted to pretend she hadn't felt it, it didn't erase that very excited, hopeful feeling inside her when he so much as breathed the same air as her. So yeah, it would probably be the worst mistake she ever made, getting in any way entangled with Oliver Queen, but there was no avoiding it. She would just have to be extra strong; she would not let herself fall for him. She wouldn't let him anywhere near her heart again.

Friendship.

That was the only course of action.

Now if only she could forget that boyish smile he'd given her when she rambled…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just went to send out a huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It's very encouraging and definitely helps to make sure that I keep up with writing. You've all been so positive with your feedback and it makes writing for this story all the more enjoyable. I hope you enjoyed this chapter too. I hope to have more up soon.
> 
> Thank you for reading, please remember to leave a review!
> 
> \- **Lee | Fina**


	4. Chapter Three

 

**[ ](http://dhfreak.tumblr.com/post/68514146445/if-i-were-a-better-man-series-by) **

 

 **III**.

The foundry beneath the Steel Fabrication and Welding warehouse was exactly what he needed. After circumventing his new bodyguard – John Diggle; a former Army Ranger, 105th Airborne out of Kandahar, retired, and in the private sector a little more than four years – he'd managed to get inside the building and begin work on what would be his new base of operations. It took time; he first had to make sure the structure was sustainable and then he had to start taking out walls. Wielding a sledgehammer, he got to work, losing himself in hours of manual labor, sweat beading on his skin and cement dust clinging to it. The strain felt good; he had been all too still lately. To his mother and sister, he was still recovering, still getting used to his surroundings. His mother especially tended to coddle him, keeping a constant eye out, as if she thought he might break at any moment. While he appreciated her concern, he was not the same man who had fled on his father's yacht, looking for one last hurrah. Neither was he the brittle boy he'd once been; he wasn't sure there was anything brittle or boyish about him anymore.

It was easy to focus on tearing down walls and putting together the foundry. There was little thinking involved outside of making sure the renovations were safe and wouldn't disturb the foundation of the building. He didn't have to think about how much his life had changed, how grown his sister was, how his mother had a new husband, or how Felicity was not so eager to pick up any semblance of a relationship. In retrospect, it had been stupid of him to think that the world would freeze itself, waiting for his return. Of course people moved on, grew up, let go of him. Still, it stung.

It was late when he finally left the foundry. Chaos still littered the floor, but the promise of an early return to business made it easy to walk away from. He would finish the foundry over the next few days and get his computers set up. He needed to start putting his plans to work on Adam Hunt. What a coincidence that Laurel Lance was also looking into him, though he imagined her approach would be far more lawful. Oliver would give him a chance to change his ways, but when justice fell, it wouldn't be via a gavel.

When he returned to the house that night, he found Raisa had left him a platter or fresh fruit, sliced cheese, and crackers. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he saw it. After stripping off his grimy clothes, he quickly showered before returning to his room and dressing in a loose pair of pajama pants. Sometimes it still felt unusual to be back in regular clothes, to be able to change each day. It also felt good. Freeing. He didn't have to don the same shirt, trying to keep the sun from burning his skin. He didn't have to scrounge up food or desperately conserve water. He didn't have to worry that whatever he was eating was poisonous, though he'd long learned which was which. Was it the red berries or the orange berries that would twist his stomach into knots? Were those orange or did they just need more time to ripen? It didn't matter here. Here all of the food was ready to eat. He could have anything he wanted at any time. It still jarred him, that easy access.

Sitting at his desk, he soon found himself on Google, and rather than search out information on Hunt as he'd meant to, he found himself searching for Felicity. It didn't take him long. She had a Facebook profile, though it was locked. More, however, she was featured on a number of news and gossip sites. Her name was constantly linked with Tommy and Thea. It seemed she and his sister were bosom buddies of the highest order, seen shopping and eating together on a regular basis. Pictures went back as far as when Thea looked like the gangly pre-teen he remembered her to be, and he thought back to what Felicity had said, about how she'd stepped in when Thea was early in her grief over him and tried her best to help her through it. Five years. Five years she'd done everything she could to help Thea and Tommy survive without him. His heart clenched hard in his chest. Not for the first time, he realized he wasn't sure if he even deserved her.

A knock at his door suddenly drew his attention and he looked up.

"Ollie?" Thea's voice called. "Can I come in?"

He half-smiled. "Of course." When the door cracked open, he waved at her to keep coming. "It's a little late for you, isn't it?"

She shrugged, dragging her feet as she made her way over to his desk, taking a seat on the corner and stealing a piece of cantaloupe. Leaning closer, she eyed his computer screen before he could exit the page, and smiled when she saw a picture of Tommy and Felicity at a fundraiser, smiling as they talked to a couple Oliver didn't recognize.

"I remember that… It was a few years ago. Tommy always gets invited to all those things, but he wasn't going as much back then. Felicity was pushing him to get back to basics, but he was, well,  _himself_ , and told her he would only go if she would." She laughed under her breath. "I'm pretty sure he only said it because he thought she'd turn him down, but she's smart and figured him out, so she bought a dress and told him he was her meal ticket for the night…" Her smile softened. "She let me do her hair and make-up, and after, she came back here and we watched movies and ate too much junk food…"

"Sounds like you two are close."

Her eyes darted to him. "We are…" she murmured. "You know, when you, well…  _died_ … Mom was pretty useless. I mean, she just lost her husband and her son, so who could blame her? But… I was still here, so it was hard, you know? Trying to grieve and survive at the same time…" She hugged her arms around herself. "Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you. I can't, really. But… It was hard. My friends kind of ditched me. They didn't know what to say, I guess. And Mom wasn't leaving her room, and you weren't there, so…" She shrugged, her eyes falling to her lap. "So I called Tommy and… he brought Felicity. The rest is history."

He nodded slowly, staring up at her gently. "She's a good person. I'm glad you had her."

"Me too." She offered him a faint smile. "This is probably the part where I threaten you with bodily harm if you break her heart, or not so subtly suggest she'd make a great sister-in-law…"

His lips twitched with humor. "Is it?"

"Probably." She hopped off his desk, stealing a piece of watermelon and popping it into her mouth. "But I think it goes without saying, right?"

He watched her as she made her way toward the door.

"Thea?"

She looked back, a brow raised.

"You didn't just come here to steal food…" he said leadingly.

She frowned, shrugging her shoulders high. "I guess I just wanted to see you… I mean, it's not every day your brother gets kidnapped and then decides to just disappear for the rest of the afternoon like nothing is wrong."

He winced. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to avoid you. I just…" He sighed. "I'm not used to being around so many people. I'm still getting used to the noise and… how busy everything is. I needed to clear my head."

"And I get that," she assured, her eyes wide. "But you were  _literally_ kidnapped, and then you had a bodyguard put on you and for some reason you decided it made sense to leave him high and dry. Now, I don't want to poke holes into your logic, but does that sound like a good idea?"

His lips curled faintly at the corners. "No. You're right, it doesn't… I'm sorry if I made you worry."

"There's no 'if' there. You did." She stared at him seriously. "Ollie, I want you to be happy, so if that means you take some time to find your zen on your own, fine. But, more than happy, I want you to be  _alive_ … So no more disappearing acts, especially not after nearly fatal kidnappings, all right?"

He nodded. "All right."

"Okay… Thank you." Awkwardly, she shifted on her feet. "Now that this weird family moment is over, I think I'll get some sleep. I have school tomorrow and a test I barely studied for."

With a faint chuckle, he nodded, watching as she went, but when she reached the door, he called her name again.

"Before you go, I just… I know I can't make up for what you went through when I was gone… but I want to make up for lost time."

Nodding, she half-smiled. "Good. Because you owe me a lot of it."

He grinned then and chuckled under his breath. "Duly noted, Speedy."

With a roll of her eyes, she exited his room, closing the door gently behind her.

He stared at it a long moment before finally turning back to the computer. Felicity had donned red for the event, from her gown to her lipstick to her nails. Small black studs dressed her ears, mostly covered by her hair, which she'd left straight, pulled to one shoulder more out of comfort than style. In the picture, she was mid-laugh, her nose wrinkled, and her pearly white teeth on display as she smiled. She was stunning, and he found himself studying how lighthearted and open she looked. The complete opposite to how he felt every day of his life these past five years. He wondered again how he would fit with her now. He wasn't willing to give up, but reality seemed to be knocking at his door a lot lately, and it wasn't kind.

Clicking out of the page, he shut off his computer and focused on his food. He had an early morning, especially if he wanted to avoid Diggle again. While the man had fallen for his escape out of the moving car, Oliver imagined he would try to be more prepared in future. While he would much rather he not have a bodyguard, he was completely certain that Diggle wouldn't give up so easily. He seemed the stubborn type, which meant Oliver would only have to try that much harder.

When he finished eating, he finally climbed into bed. After laying his head on his pillow, he dug a hand into the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out the faded keychain he'd had with him through the very worst of times. He squeezed it tight, settling his fist over his chest, and fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Felicity glared at Tommy beside her, which he went out of his way to pretend he hadn't noticed.

"I was supposed to be at work…" she checked her watch, " _twenty_  minutes ago."

Tommy sighed. "So call in sick."

"It was my  _lunch_ break! You don't think that might look a little suspicious?"

He shrugged. "I have  _repeatedly_ offered to fund your early retirement. It's not my fault you keep turning me down." He grinned at her. "You don't think I'd make a generous sugar-daddy?"

Felicity reached up to readjust her glasses. "What  _exactly_ do you think you'd be paying me for?"

"Running pointless errands with me and keeping me company when I'm bored," he answered simply.

"You know that's not what a sugar-daddy pays for…  _right?_ "

He snorted, looking at her incredulously. "Listen, if anyone knows better what a sugar-daddy is paying for, it would be me.  _You_  are the innocent one in this friendship."

"Just because I've never been arrested for public nudity does not mean I'm innocent. It means I managed to stay sober enough not to make bad choices."

"Or you have really good timing," he corrected.

Flushing, she frowned at him. "That was  _one_ time, and that was the tequila's fault. I told you never to let me drink tequila."

"Ah, but your first mistake was  _telling_ me tequila made you do bad things…"

Rolling her eyes, she reached over to pinch his arm.

"Ow," he cried, frowning at her. "Your tiny little fingers hurt."

Huffing, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, your bad timing is hurting my career. Where are we going?"

"We're visiting the clubs you picked out," he said, still rubbing his arm. "Seriously, I think you bruised me. I have very sensitive skin."

"Do not tempt me," she muttered scathingly. "Now, why do I have to come with you? I already picked out the club and set everything up yesterday. You know, before you were  _kidnapped_ … Ringing any bells?"

"Somebody's cranky today."

Felicity huffed out an irritated breath. "It has been a really busy few days, okay?"

Tommy's expression softened. He held a hand out to her and, with a soft sigh, she uncrossed her arms to take his hand. "Things haven't been easy for you since he came back, have they?"

She shook her head. "It's not just about him. I mean, yes, things have felt really complicated and…  _weird_ , but… Tommy, you've never been kidnapped before. How are you not worried? I mean, masked men knocked you out and held you hostage. And some… guy in a  _hood_ just came along and saved the day. Can we talk about how insane that was?"

He frowned. "The kidnapping or the hood guy?"

" _Both!_ " She gripped his hand hard. "I know we joke about how worried I was and that you're fine, but this is big. This had to be coordinated, you understand that, right? Somebody probably hired those men to kidnap you and Oliver. So what does that mean? Why would they do that? Who is behind it?"

"All right, Nancy Drew, I hear you. You're worried. But Felicity, listen, I really don't think it goes as far as you think. It was probably somebody looking to make some money off of ransoming us off. Let's face it. We're both from very wealthy families and with Oliver's recent return, he's gotten a lot of coverage." When she still wasn't comforted, he half-smiled at her. "You said it yourself. Lance is on the case. I'm sure they'll realize it wasn't anything big. I mean, they couldn't have been that good, right? Some guy in a hood just strolled up and took them all out. One guy against three?" He scoffed.

Felicity chewed on her lip. "That's the thing though… Those men had guns, they were prepared with knock-out darts… And  _one_ man managed to take them all out…" Her brow furrowed. "Even if this was just a ransom plot, that man saved your life…  _Why?_ "

"Ouch," he said in faux-hurt. "I'd like to think I was worth saving, thank you."

"Of course you were," she dismissed. "But I'm supposed to think that; I'm your best friend. Why would your average citizen go out of his way to save a complete stranger from people who were clearly armed and dangerous?"

Sighing, apparently tired of the conversation, Tommy shrugged, and turned his car into the empty parking lot of a club. "I don't know. Maybe he's not as average as you think. Maybe he's some vigilante out to offer up a taste of justice…" he joked, his voice filled with mocking.

Felicity bit her tongue rather than respond, because, truth be told, she was wondering if he might be right.

Tommy pulled the car into a parking spot and turned it off. "Come on. Let's go haggle with the owners and see if we can get them down to a better price."

"What's wrong with the place I picked?"

"Nothing. But I like to haggle and I have nothing better to do with my day."

Climbing out of the car, she raised an eyebrow at him over the roof. "You realize if you go with my choice anyway this will have been a  _complete_  waste of my time and energy."

Circling the car, he tossed an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her against his side. "Let's be honest… Any time spent with me is never a waste."

Laughing under her breath, she slid her arm around his waist and let him lead her into the club. He wasn't completely wrong. Though, as soon as his back was turned, she was going to check in with Patricia to see how she was handling things. And then she'd check in with Rudy just to be sure. Though, admittedly, having an afternoon to hang around with Tommy was nice. She could admit that with Oliver back she'd been worried Tommy might have less time for her, but it was clear that he was making sure that wasn't the case at all.

Smiling, she told herself that it was okay she was missing work… After all, Tommy had been kidnapped yesterday. That was a good enough reason, wasn't it? Seeing him grin at the club owner, that mischievous, about to get everything he wanted grin she was so used to, she decided it absolutely was a good enough reason.

* * *

Four days had passed without the company of Mr. Diggle. Oliver managed to fix up much of the foundry, clearing out debris and knocking down the last of the walls he wanted removed. He set up a table with his computers and prepared a station for his bow and arrows. With the help of a generator, he was able to get electricity running through the place and, while it still needed some work, it was a good place to start.

He took some time to prepare his arrows. At times, it could feel tedious, but he enjoyed the constant noise and the feel of each arrow between his fingers. It was much easier to build them here than on the island. There were so many tools at his disposal, so much time that was saved. It helped too that he didn't have to constantly worry about his surroundings. It would be difficult for just anyone to get into the foundry and, given its current state, he didn't imagine many would try.

When he was finished with his arrows, he spent some time working off the last of his excess energy. Between the salmon ladder and doing stomach curls from various pipes running along lowered parts of the ceiling, he managed to work every muscle until they screamed. Sweat soon collected and the cool air made steam rise off his too-warm skin.

Donning a shirt, he made his way over to his munitions box, fishing out his bow to get some target practice in. He emptied a bottle of tennis balls and pinned each to the cement wall with an arrow through the center. There was a sense of accomplishment each time an arrow left his fingers and stuck through the rubber ball. It was rare for him to miss. His mind and body was so trained that it moved and reacted without him having to first consider his options. Like a well-oiled machine. If that machine were a weapon, of course.

Laying his bow back in its case, he returned to the large circle of computers he'd set up, each working overtime, many scanning the topography of Starling City, preparing as much information as he could take in. The city had changed while he was away and he needed to reacquaint himself with it. Knowing his landscape was a priority if he planned to be running from one place to another, possibly outrunning various goons in an effort to stay alive during his crusade. Some of the other screens were running background checks on various names on the list his father had left him. It was one thing to know what Google could bring up, but he needed to know the stuff they weren't posting for the world to see.

Briefly, his mind was taken away from the task at hand as the multiple lit up screens reminded him of a certain IT genius, though he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Felicity had made it clear that she wasn't looking to rekindle anything. Considering her acquaintanceship with Quentin and Laurel Lance, it was obvious that she knew about Sara. He hadn't planned on keeping it from her, he just wished he'd had a chance to explain. Five years was a long time for her to go over those 'what-if' scenarios she'd talked about, and he imagined most of them ended in him breaking her heart with cheating or getting bored. Truthfully, maybe the man he used to be would have done just that. He obviously hadn't been mature enough to do the right thing. He'd ran off with a woman he didn't even know because he was scared of his life changing. But the man that came back from the island was not the one who'd broken his promises to Felicity.

The man he was now wanted to live up to those promises and make it right. Not just to her, but to everyone who mattered in his life.

He wanted to believe that he could change her mind. He just needed to show her how different he really was. But there was a line he couldn't cross. He was different, yes, but that reached a level she could never know about. His conscious gnawed at him. If he did manage to convince her to give him a chance, wasn't he already sabotaging himself by lying to her from the word 'go'? His jaw ticked with uncertainty. He didn't want to lie, but something about telling her he was planning to become a bow and arrow wielding vigilante just didn't give him the confidence to be completely honest.

Maybe, in time, he could feel out her thoughts on the vigilante and take it from there.

He was probably lying to himself, but he wasn't willing to explore the issue further. If it tipped too far in either direction, it meant he would be losing something important to him. Either Felicity or his drive for justice.

Turning his attention to one particular screen, he watched the KQBC news as it detailed the upcoming trial between Adam Hunt and Laurel Lance.

" _…the suit alleges that Hunt committed multiple acts of fraud and theft against the city's underprivileged…"_

Leaving his computer, he moved toward his weapons cache and went through it, lingering on a hunting knife. Adam Hunt's crimes went deeper than just fraud or theft, but he'd been able to bully, bribe and kill anyone who got in his way. But that was before.

Oliver returned to his munitions trunk, reaching inside to retrieve a green hood from the confines, rubbing the rough fabric between his fingers. It was time his alter-ego paid Adam Hunt a visit.

* * *

"All right, what'd you bring me?"

"Is that any way to answer the door?" Felicity wondered, raising an eyebrow.

Thea rolled her eyes. "Didn't I mention I was raised by wolves?"

"I think your mother might take offense to that," she argued, walking past her into the foyer. "I brought Chinese, and a really cheesy rom-com, because I know you like those."

"Hey, don't lay all the blame on me. You're the one who's got a will-they/won't-they romance going on in her life."

Shucking her jacket after she placed the take-out bag on the edge of the table dressed in family photos, Felicity wrinkled her nose. "I object to that."

With a snort, Thea rolled her eyes. "This isn't Law and Order, and I'm not Laurel. So you can object all you want, but I'm still going to pick and prod until you tell me what's going on with you and Ollie."

With a heavy sigh, Felicity discarded her shoes and grabbed the bag of food, making her way toward the family room, where the TV would be happy to play their crappy movie choice of the night. "Nothing.  _Literally_ nothing is going on. We talked the other day, you know, after your brother was  _kidnapped_ …"

Thea waved a dismissive hand. "Don't change the subject. You talked.  _And_ …?"

"And I told him that we should start over and be friends. I don't plan on walking away from you or Tommy, so we'll just have to find a way to be civil and make things work."

She scoffed. "And that worked?"

"Of course it worked. It's true!" Passing the bag of food to her, Felicity made her way to the Blu-ray machine and put the movie in. "And I find the note of disbelief in your voice  _really_ discouraging."

"Can you blame me? When was the last time you went on a date?" Thea asked incredulously.

"I've gone on plenty of dates, thank you very much. Mark from Marketing asked me out a few weeks ago… We had drinks. It was nice."

"Okay, one, never date a guy whose name is part of his job, and b., if it was so 'nice' why haven't you seen ' _Mark from Marketing_ ' in a few weeks?"

"Because… I've been busy… And also he made a lot of terrible puns. Not the funny kind where you can't help but laugh, but the really bad ones that kind of make your soul weep."

Thea blinked at her. "Okay… Well, who did you date before that?"

Felicity shrugged. "I don't know. I've dated around… There was that musician, Jensen. He was okay. I mean, he talked too much about his band and where they were going, but he did give me a discount on their CD and I listen to it when I'm cleaning, so… I kind of feel like that evened out in the end." Tapping her chin thoughtfully, she said, "Oh, and there was Brad, he was really into comic books, which was great, but… he brought up role playing a lot, and I could see where that was headed…" Her brows hiked. "Not totally a problem, except his idea of sexy costumes was definitely not on the same wavelength as mine…"

"Wow, okay, this conversation took a weird turn."

Felicity shrugged. "You asked."

"Not about the weirdoes who wanted to dress you up as their personal Chewbacca and get creepy with you. I asked you who you dated lately that was even kind of viable for a second date."

With a sigh, she collapsed onto the couch, making grabby hands at the bag, wishing she'd grabbed her chow mein before she sat down. "I don't know. You know I don't date long-term. I have too many commitments."

"Well, what happened to Matt?" Thea tried. "He was nice, and hot. Like,  _really_ hot."

"He cleared his throat too much. It was distracting."

Thea rubbed her fingers between her eyes. "Are you serious?"

"What? It was a legitimate reason. He was constantly clearing his throat. It was at the point where I told him he should see a doctor about that. Who knows, he could have something lodged in there!"

"You are seriously too picky."

"I am not. I'm just… not willing to settle."

"Didn't mom introduce you to Carter Bowen a few years ago? You guys went on a date and I  _know_ he wanted to see you again."

Fidgeting in her seat, she shrugged. "So?"

"So? So he was  _literally_ the perfect person. Like,  _annoyingly_ perfect. I hate him on principle alone, but even  _I_  can admit that he was perfect boyfriend material."

"That was the problem," she sighed. "Well, that and he was a little narcissistic. But in that sneaky way, you know? Like, he pretends that he's as surprised as anyone that he's an amazing author and neurosurgeon, but  _clearly_ he understands he's gifted. I don't like that. If you're good at something, own up to it. Like I know I'm amazing with computers. There is literally no one better at QC. You think I'm going to pretend I'm not?" She scoffed. "I did not work my butt of at MIT not to brag a little. And bragging is fine, as long as you're not obnoxious about it."

Thea threw her hands up in defeat. "Fine, let's change the subject before you start throwing ones and zeroes at me." Opening the take-out bag, she started dishing out their food. "So, which club did you and Tommy pick out?"

"One that you are still technically too young to set foot in."

She smirked. "Technicalities never stopped me before."

"On a related note, please tell me you're not underage drinking or anything that would make me worry."

Rolling her eyes, Thea shook her head. "Okay, if I say I'm not getting black out drunk, would that help?"

She nodded slowly. "It would ease some of my fears, yes."

"I'm not getting black out drunk," Thea offered in a deadpan.

Dramatically, Felicity wiped a hand over her forehead. " _Phew_."

Lips twitching with humor, Thea handed her a box of chow mein and dug out one of chicken fried rice. "All right, let's curb the serious talk and focus on cute boys," she decided taking up the remote for the TV and Blu-ray.

"Agreed."

With that, they quickly found themselves immersed in a love story that resembled nothing of their own lives.

* * *

When Oliver returned home that night, he could still remember the look of angry disbelief on Hunt's face, vowing to kill the Hood if he ever dared threaten him again. The mere idea that Hunt was anywhere near the worst of people Oliver had faced might have made him laugh. Hunt was nothing but a cockroach in the larger scheme. A cruel man who didn't care about the lives that suffered around him. That would end.  _Soon_.

The house was mostly silent. He expected everyone to be sleeping, which was why he was surprised to hear the television playing in the den. After kicking off his shoes, he made his way down the hall, his brow furrowed. He paused for a moment, just short of the doorway, worried he might walk in on his mother and Walter having some kind of date night. But then he heard a laugh, a soft, tinkling laugh that he remembered so very clearly. It had given him comfort more times than he could count over the years he'd spent away.

His feet were moving before he gave it conscious thought and he soon found himself leaning in the doorway of the den, watching as Felicity sat curled up on the couch, her head balanced on her hand, watching the screen in front of her with rapt attention. Thea had fallen asleep, her head pillowed on the arm of the couch, her legs stretching all the way toward Felicity on the other end. There was an empty brown bag with discarded Chinese food containers littering the table and chopsticks laying haphazardly nearby.

Oliver took a moment just to watch Felicity; the easy smile on her lips, the relaxed slump of her shoulders, the engaged look in her eyes.

He didn't know what movie she was watching or what it was about, but he liked how enthused she was by it.

Silently, he entered the room and moved to take a seat on a nearby arm chair. "Good movie?"

She startled, her head swiveling toward him, eyes wide. "Hi," she squeaked.

"Hey," he returned, his eyes turning toward the television curiously. "What are you watching?"

"Oh, nothing really. Just… a movie." She fumbled for the remote and hit stop. "I actually already watched it, but I liked it so I played it again when Thea fell asleep."

"Must be a good movie."

She shrugged. "I'm sure it's corny and unrealistic, but sometimes you need that." Pushing off the couch, she started gathering up the garbage to put away. "You're home late."

He nodded. "Errands."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Really? And what kind of errands can you even get done this late at night?"

He blinked. "There's a 24 hour Laundromat on King and 2nd."

Tipping her head to the side, she offered an amused, and completely unconvinced, smile. "So at eleven o'clock at night, you decided to drop by a 24 hour Laundromat…?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes."

"With what clothes?"

"They're still there."

"So you brought clothes to a Laundromat, despite the fact that you have a perfectly good washer and dryer here, not to mention paid staff to wash them, and then just… left them there…? Because, I know it's been five years, but most Laundromats that are open overnight don't have people who switch the clothes over for you, and if they do, they're probably going to steal them before you come back."

His lips twitched. "So you're saying my favorite argyle sweater has been stolen."

"Argyle, huh?"

"I'm a man of mysterious taste."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Clearly."

He watched her as she finished with the garbage and set the bag on the table. Crossing the room, she knelt in front of the television and ejected the dvd, putting it back in its case to be stowed away in her purse.

"Are you going home?"

"That is generally what people do when their host falls asleep on them and they have work in the morning…" she answered lightly, casting an amused smile at him.

His brow furrowed, lips set in a frown. "It's late, you're probably tired, you shouldn't be driving…"

"I've left here later and far more tired. Trust me, I'll be fine," she dismissed.

"I'd feel better if you stayed, or at least let me call a driver."

She turned to look at him and he stared up at her, not even bothering to hide the blatant concern on his face.

Biting her lip, she crossed toward him, taking a seat on the edge of the coffee table. Hands on her knees, she leaned forward, peering at him curiously. "What are you doing?" she wondered.

He eyed her thoughtfully. "What do you mean?"

"I can't read you…" Her voice was wrought with frustration. "You used to be so easy…" She scrunched up her nose at her wording. "You know what I mean.  _Well_ , not that you  _weren't_ easy, because you kind of were. But I meant easy to  _read_. You were like an open book. And not only because you tended to just say out whatever you wanted…"

"Are you asking what my intentions are toward you, Miss Smoak?" he asked, a teasing quality to his voice.

She rolled her eyes, leaning back from him. "You know what… No. Never mind." She shook her head, waving her hands as if to wipe the conversation out of existence, and stood from her seat on the table, pulling her purse up and over her shoulder as she did.

He sobered quickly. "You can ask me…" He stared up at her, his expression the picture of serious. "But I'm not sure you're ready for the answer."

Staring down at him a long moment, she looked thoughtful, chewing her lip. "No… I'm not sure I am," she murmured. With that, she turned on her heel to walk toward the doorway, her car keys jangling in one hand. "Goodnight, Oliver."

"You're sure I can't convince you to stay…? Or have my driver take you in?"

She half-smiled back at him. "Very sure."

"Okay…" He nodded in defeat. "Goodnight, Felicity."

She waved a hand over her shoulder as she disappeared down the hall. He listened for the front door to open before he sighed.

Climbing from his chair, he moved toward Thea and, with little effort, managed to pick her up off the couch and carry her upstairs to her bedroom. Tucking her in, he finally made his way back to his room, all the while wondering how Felicity might've reacted if he told her his intention was to show her he was the right man for her to fall in love with, and spend the rest of his life proving it to her. Another day, perhaps, when he was sure she wasn't just ready to hear it, but to believe it too.


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Felicity's work outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_smoak_4a/set?id=108299123)  
>  **Felicity's club outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_smoak_4b/set?id=107675806)

**[](http://dhfreak.tumblr.com/post/68514146445/if-i-were-a-better-man-series-by)**

**IV.**

Felicity had spent most of her morning working the floor of the IT Department. While, technically, Patricia was supposed to be overseeing much of it, she was still in training, and nervous that she would do the wrong thing. So Felicity wasn't surprised she spent much of the morning coordinating things, but, after two hours of letting her inner-control freak handle everything, she reminded herself that Patricia was there to learn from her. And, while observation might have been helpful in the beginning, now she needed to learn how to run a floor without Felicity taking over every time she panicked. Instead of simply solving the problems that cropped up, she started asking Patricia what  _she_  would do, and from there she would either take her advice or offer up reasons why that specific reaction might not work. In a way, it was fun. There was less pressure and her morning seemed slower-paced because of it. Used to the hub-bub of constantly looking for the next problem to solve, either with her staff or the higher-ups that demanded she come and fix their computer glitch personally, it was kind of nice to just dedicate her time to patiently training her second-in-command.

To cut down on distractions, she'd asked Rudy to hold her calls unless it was an emergency. Which meant no, Thea and Tommy couldn't interrupt her morning with questions about tonight's 'Welcome Back' bash for Oliver. Since they'd been texting her non-stop all morning, she thought it was a safe bet that they weren't taking too well to the incommunicado situation they were faced with. And, frankly, she wouldn't be surprised if they showed up randomly. Thea, probably with a whole wardrobe for her to pick from for the night, while Tommy would bring an arm full of ties, asking for her opinion on which one was likely to get him laid.

She didn't have time for that, not today.

Besides, despite the fact that she was the one who basically organized the whole party, she wasn't so sure she wanted to go to it. Yes, she already had a dress and shoes picked out, but whenever she thought about it, her stomach started to tighten up. She and Oliver were still on rocky ground. They'd had all of two conversations since he returned and they were always tense with this feeling that there was something there, something going unsaid, and it was  _big_. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. From the moment she learned he was alive, she'd convinced herself of a few things. Frst and foremost, what they had in the past, whatever that was, would stay there. They would not dig up their history and hash it out. It had happened, it was over, that was it. Only Oliver didn't seem to agree, and aside from surprising her, it also confused her. Why would he want to discuss it? It didn't exactly reflect well on him, at least not from where she was standing. And she'd made it clear that her priority was Thea and Tommy. She wasn't looking for a blast from the past, no matter how handsome or charming that blast was.

By lunch time, Felicity felt certain that Patricia had hit her stride and knew what she was doing. So, without making a scene, Felicity simply slipped away, and started for her office, hoping to get in a quick lunch before she let Rudy bog her down with the many, many messages she was sure he had to take while she was on the floor.

She greeted familiar faces as she walked down the halls leading to her office, feeling a well of relief as she thought about kicking off her heels, a particularly nice pair of shiny, red pumps, and sinking onto her loveseat for a few minutes rest. Just short of Rudy's desk, she felt a smile tugging at her lips as she watched him mumble to himself, flipping through her schedule as he jotted down a few things.

"Shouldn't you be on your break?" she asked in greeting.

He looked up abruptly and lurched from his chair. "Um, about that… You have a guest for lunch."

Her brow furrowed and she paused in her steps. "Is it Tommy or Thea? Because I am in  _no_ mood for party-talk."

"No…" he said slowly. "They called, repeatedly, but they gave up on getting any time with you today."

"Okay, then who is it?" She reached for the door. "Is it Walter? Because I thought he was taking lunch with Moira today…"

"Not Walter."

"Rudy, the guessing game isn't fun." She pulled the door open wide but then stopped as she spotted a familiar, broad-shouldered figure across her office, admiring her wall of diplomas and certificates. Swallowing thickly, she stepped through the door, letting it close behind her.

She watched him a moment, padding silently across the floor, briefly admiring the way the sweater he was wearing fit him, the sleeves tugged up his forearms, his hands tucked comfortably into the pockets of his jeans.

"No argyle?" she said, raising an eyebrow as he turned to face her. "After your  _harrowing_  night at the laundry and everything."

He tipped his head, letting out a faint chuckle as his lips turned up at the corners. "I think you were right… 24-hour Laundromat's might not be the way to go."

"I'd suggest a dry cleaner's next time, or you could always try leaving it with the staff at the manor… You don't want to put anyone out of a job." She pointed her pen at him, hugging her clipboard to her chest, telling herself she wasn't using it as a makeshift shield against the tension she already felt mounting, and crossed the room toward her desk. "Did Tommy send you? Because I already told him that the open-collar thing he's been doing is working just fine… Especially if those twins he had over last weekend are any kind of proof."

He let out a cough that seemed only to be covering a laugh and crossed toward her, pointing at a brown paper bag sitting on the corner of her desk. "I was going to bring Chinese, but since you and Thea ordered in last night, I thought I'd try something else… Greek. I was hoping the place I used to pick up lunch for us was still open, but—"

"They are, they just changed their name," she told him, leaning forward in her chair. "I know, I used to order in sometimes. Nostalgia, I guess. And then one day they answered with a different name…" She shrugged. "Same owners and menu, but I guess they wanted a fresh start."

"I understand the feeling." He dug out the food from inside and handed hers over before he took a seat in the chair across from her desk, moving it closer so they were facing one another properly.

Somehow she was both surprised and yet  _not_ that he'd picked up her favorite order: dolmades, vegetables with a garlic butter melted on top, rice pilaf, and a homemade bun. Her mouth watered at the sight of it. She unwrapped her fork and quickly filled her mouth with a bite before her attention wandered elsewhere. She watched him curiously as he removed the lid from his food and leaned down to breathe it in appreciatively, a look of supreme relief and enjoyment flooding his handsome face.

When he caught her staring, he raised an eyebrow. "No delivery on the island."

Her lips twitched. "Sounds inconvenient."

"It was. I can't count how many nights I spent desperately wishing for Dominoes."

She bit her lip and shook her head. It felt wrong to joke about it when it had played such a significant part in both their lives. His, obviously, more than hers, but that didn't mean the last five years hadn't defined parts of her in ways she both liked and disliked.

"You can laugh," he encouraged.

"Can you?" she wondered.

His eyes cut away thoughtfully. "No. But I don't want to be the person that brings everyone down as soon as he walks into the room… And, if I remember correctly, our lunches used to involve a lot of laughter."

"I remember a few serious conversations," she mused, digging her fork into her rice pilaf. "Usually when they involved Thea or your parents expectations or—"

"Trying to convince you to date me."

She paused, her breath catching in her throat. "Sometimes you were serious, sometimes you weren't."

"I was always serious. I just couldn't figure out what approach you liked better," he countered, his steady gaze meeting hers, though the curve of his mouth was lighthearted.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Considering how often I turned you down, how do you know I liked  _any_  of your approaches?"

"The way you smiled."

Her eyes fell for a moment before finding his again. "Really?"

"You had a special smile, one you only used for me…"

She tipped her head, eyes narrowed. "Did I?"

He nodded and then pointed at her. "You were usually doing  _that_ when you made it."

Her brow furrowed. "Doing what?"

His head tipped to mimic her and a grin played at his lips. "That."

Pursing her lips, she shook her head. "I don't remember any special smiles. I remember telling you that you were definitely going to be the reason I got fired if you didn't stop showing up out of the blue."

He made a show of looking around her office. "And look at where you are…" He nodded admiringly. "Definitely a step up from the closet you were in the last time I was here."

"The view isn't bad," she said, turning her attention back to her food. "So what brings you by, anyway? Besides wanting to feed a poor, overworked IT specialist, that is."

He shrugged. "Considering tonight is the big party, I wasn't sure we'd get much time to talk… I have a feeling Tommy will introduce me to just about everyone who shows up."

"I made the guest list myself, so I know for a fact that's a lot of hands to shake."

"On the bright side, the setting means there's no babies to kiss for inopportune photo ops," he joked.

She smiled, helpless to it, and let out a small laugh. "You know, he's really happy you're back… I know the party probably feels overwhelming. You don't go from an island of solitude to a packed club and not feel a little suffocated, but… he's just trying to make it easier. And even if it doesn't seem like it, he thinks he's doing the right thing." She shrugged. "I know he doesn't mean for it to be a sink or swim situation, but he's probably hoping that if he just throws you into the middle of it, you'll adapt and everything can go back to how it was…" She shifted in her seat. "Not that I've spent a long time psychoanalyzing it or anything."

He stared at her a long moment, but it wasn't irritated or even amused. "I know he cares. And you're right, I'm not exactly looking forward to being in a club full of strangers, but… I understand he's just trying to help."

"I think he's worried that if he doesn't make you fit back into this world, you might leave it again. I mean, it's flawed thinking, it's not like you left by choice, but… He's afraid, and Tommy's way of coping with fear is to ignore it, or bury it."

He dug his fork deeper into his rice and cleared his throat. "You know him really well…"

"Comes with the 'best friend' territory, I think. I'm not allowed to call myself one unless I can figure out why he's doing something for any given reason. And with Tommy, it's not hard. He only runs from a few things; commitment, responsibility, and anything related to his father… Not without reason. I've met Mr. Merlyn a few times and… let's just say he's not my favorite person."

"No?" His brow raised. "Most people find him charming."

"I imagine he is, to some. And maybe it's the best friend blinders on, I've heard enough stories from Tommy, but there's something about him that just…" She gave a shudder. "He gives me the heebie jeebies."

His mouth twitched. "Heebie jeebies."

"Yes, my very technical term for makes my skin crawl."

"I like it," he said with a short nod. "It's very  _Felicity_."

She laughed under her breath, reaching up to play with her earrings, more because a nervous flush was climbing her neck. Despite herself, she felt a part of her responding to the way he said her name and looked at her. This was not how things were supposed to go. Then again, she hadn't been expecting him to invite himself to her lunch break, though, she should have, since he had made a habit of it prior to the island; he never missed a lunch until he was gone. And those first few weeks without him, she'd never felt more alone in her office. It wasn't until Tommy started showing up, though he didn't bring lunch in the beginning, mostly just needing that familiar physical presence of someone else before he fell asleep in his chair. He'd been so run down then, so emotionally exhausted with everything, and as much as he never quite filled Oliver's shoes as her lunch date, Tommy was still a constant companion that helped her get through the day each time he showed up.

"Felicity?"

She shook her head abruptly and blinked rapidly. "Sorry?"

He peered at her curiously. "I called your name a few times…"

She nodded. "Yeah, sorry, I was just… I was just remembering something." She waved a dismissive hand and dug out a bite of food. "What were you going to say?"

"Nothing, just… earlier, I assumed you were coming tonight but I didn't ask you. You must be busy here; it's a big step up from what you were doing before."

"It can be busy. I'm training someone right now to be a go-between so any of the staff can talk to her before an issue hits my desk. It'll cut down on my overtime and give me time to focus on some things I'd much rather be doing instead of fixing exec computers because they can't remember their password but don't want anyone else to know." She rolled her eyes. "But to answer your question, yes, I'll be there tonight… I think Thea and Tommy both would kill me if I chickened out."

"You're not much of a clubber?" he wondered.

She shrugged. "I don't mind them. Tommy drags me out at least once a month. It just feels different this time…"

"Because I'm there."

She looked over at him. "Not in a bad way, just in an… 'I don't know what to expect' kind of way." She frowned. "Well, except for the details I helped put together. Although, for the record, I technically veto'd a wet t-shirt contest. So if there is one, that's on Tommy, and I take no responsibility for it."

He chuckled under his breath, ducking his head a little in his amusement.

She liked it when he laughed. It wasn't as carefree or as robust as it used to be, but there was something genuine about it, something that made her stomach stir in a way that wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been before. This was a good tension. But she didn't want to think too much on that.

"What if I told you what to expect?" he wondered.

Her head tipped. "Because you know exactly what's going to happen?"

"Just about." He nodded.

Clasping her hands together, she bridged them under her chin, her elbows on her desk. "Wow me."

His mouth curved up. "I'll arrive late to the party, or Tommy will start it early… He'll introduce me to the crowd, half of which will only know me as the reason they're getting a lot of free alcohol, while the other half vaguely know me from before the island… I'll say something to get everyone excited, which mostly just amounts to encouraging everyone to get drunk…"

She snorted.

"Then I'll try, and fail, to have a real conversation with you when the music is so loud I can barely hear myself think. You, of course, will look just as stunning as ever…"

She bit her lip to hide her smile.

"And, if I'm being completely honest, I'll probably try to sneak out early. Mostly because putting on a show for everyone is exhausting, but also because the crowd will start to make me feel claustrophobic, and I'll need some fresh air."

She stared at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Don't forget Thea. She'll make a not-so-surprise visit, despite being underage… Although, if it helps, she's promised she's not getting 'black-out drunk,' so… don't let it keep you up at night, wondering."

"I'll sleep soundly now."

She half-smiled, rolling her eyes.

They spent much of the rest of their lunch sharing small talk, leaving those big, overwhelming topics for another time. She was surprised to find she wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as she'd expected, and thought maybe she'd blown it all out of proportion. But then Oliver stole a dolmades from her plate, laughing when she threatened to take off a finger if he tried it again. And that laugh, that low, deep from the gut laugh, made her heart swell up in her chest, a low hum of tension settling on her skin. She could almost ignore it, chalk it up to a natural bodily reaction, but then his eyes were on her, somehow both warm and sharp at the same time. She got the feeling he was memorizing her, enjoying and admiring while at the same time trying to catalogue every move, every smile, every noise that issued from her mouth. She wasn't sure what that meant, or why he did it, but it was intense in a way that it hadn't been before. That underlying current of attraction, a frisson of anticipation, warmed her belly, and as much as she wanted to tell her hormones to pack it up and walk away, she didn't.

Despite herself, she liked it, and even though her head said she was doomed to repeat the same mistakes, her body told her it would be worth it.

Her heart, unfortunately, was silent; not yet clear which side it was on.

* * *

Oliver was feeling good. The welcome back party Tommy was throwing would be the perfect alibi, if it came to that. He was hoping that Hunt would transfer the money as he'd been told to and he wouldn't have to duck out of the celebration, at least not for anything but a moment of peace. But if it came down to it and he had to face off with Hunt again, then at least 'Oliver Queen' was covered if anyone asked where he'd been.

Even better, Felicity had assured she would be there and, while he wasn't sure he'd get much of a chance to talk to her, any time spent around her was good enough for him. Just seeing her tended to soothe him; the way she moved and smiled and how expressive and animated she was could make everything else slow down.

Lunch had been great. He couldn't remember the food, but he did remember how easy it felt for him to fit back into that place across from her. There was some awkwardness at first, mostly because she wasn't sure how to respond to him, but they got over it quickly. Some things, he hoped, could return to how they were. He wasn't sure he'd be able to spend every lunch hour with her, but he did want to make a habit of trying to spend as many with her as he could. Back to basics. She might not have responded to his tactics previously, but he maintained that he wasn't the same as he once was in certain respects.

She said he had his days, some days he was serious, some days he wasn't. The truth was, Oliver had never known anyone quite like her, he'd never been rejected before, so he tried to adapt to her, tried to feel out what she wanted,  _who_ she wanted him to be. And it never worked, because it wasn't genuine. When he was himself, she accepted him, even the stuff she didn't particularly like or agree with, she accepted. But as a friend. She didn't see them as compatible in a relationship setting, and maybe she wasn't wrong. The Oliver Queen he'd been before had wanted to fit with her, he wanted to be right for her, because he knew he wasn't. The Oliver he was now, however, thought he could be.

It didn't take him long to get ready for the party. A suit, the jacket undone, and a white dress shirt with the collar left loose. He used the cologne he remembered her commenting on once, pausing as she passed him in her office and leaning over to breathe him in. It would probably be drowned out in the club, too many people, too many smells mixing together, but he didn't care. It was a nice bit of nostalgia for him and he felt like giving in to it.

As he left the manor to meet the town car pulling up, he checked his phone. There was a text from Tommy telling him to hurry up and he shook his head minutely, amused with his friend's candor.

He reached for the door handle of the car and bent to climb in, pausing when he found John Diggle in the passenger seat.

Smirking in triumph, Diggle advised, "Put on your seatbelt, sir."

Oliver's gaze fell for a moment as he tried to run through each scenario of how this might all play out and how he could use it to his advantage. Having Diggle around was likely to work against him, but he wasn't willing to accept defeat just yet.

He grubbed at him, admitting at least that Diggle was a smart and stubborn man.

"Wouldn't want to miss your party," he tacked on.

Climbing into the car, he clasped his hands in his lap as he cast an amused look out the window.

The drive to the club was fairly quiet, and Oliver took the time to go over exit strategies once more. He'd managed to drop enough hints to Tommy to make sure that they would be in the club directly across from the building Hunt worked out of. He'd looked up the schematics of the club, memorizing each exit and access door so he would be able to move where he needed to with as little attention on him as possible. He would have to keep up appearances for a while, both to keep Tommy happy and to appease public opinion of him. If Hunt came through, his preparation would be pointless, but he'd been through far too much not to have a back-up plan or three.

* * *

The club was loud. Felicity should be used to it by now, but there was still a part of her that cringed and thought of buying stock in ear plugs. The guest of honor had yet to arrive, but that hadn't stopped Tommy from playing the ever affable host, charming anyone who so much as glanced in his direction. She had to admit, he was good at this. How he managed to keep everyone in this overly warm club happy, she had no idea, but she was rather proud of him all the same.

"If you keep making that face, someone's going to take back your VIP card."

Rolling her eyes, she turned to grin at Tommy. "You managed to pull yourself away to greet me, I'm extremely flattered."

"For you, anything," he teased, before taking a step back and giving her a look over. "Where there's Smoak, there's fire. You pulled out all the stops tonight, didn't you?"

Fidgeting, she looked down at herself. Maybe the metallic gold bandage dress was a bit much, but she'd loved it when she put it on, even if it did hug her in a way that meant not one flaw was hidden. Although, wearing it, she didn't feel like she  _had_ any flaws, despite what her full length mirror told her when she missed one too many days of exercising. What could she say? Tech geeks weren't particularly fond of physical labour.

Regardless, now that he was pointing out the fact that she'd really dressed up, she couldn't help but worry. Tapping a foot, wearing her favorite green iridescent high heels, she chewed her lip. "Did I?" she worried.

He chuckled under his breath and took her hand, making her spin for him, his arm looping over her head. "Felicity, you look beautiful," he told her genuinely.

"Yeah, well, you don't look so bad yourself," she returned, reaching up to tug on the lapel of his jacket. "I see you went with the open collar, too." With wide-eyes, she deadpanned, "I'm shocked."

"I think somebody's grumpy that  _she_ didn't have a pair of attractive twins in her bed recently."

Snorting, she rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the reminder, but no, not particularly interested in sharing my bed with twins… Mostly because of the icky possible-incest factor."

"Mostly?"

She blinked. "Well, that and I think I'd always feel like I was giving too much attention to one or the other and I'd worry about one of them feeling left out."

Tommy laughed deeply and hugged an arm around her shoulders. "Trust me, if they had you between them, they wouldn't be worried about being left out, their focus would be on making sure you felt very,  _very_ good."

Elbowing his side until he let her go, she tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. "And that's about enough conversation about my lackluster sex life that I can handle, thanks."

"Maybe it's about to take a turn for the better," he told her, his eyes leaving her to climb the stairwell to the top. "The guest of honor's finally arrived."

Felicity turned on her heel and watched as Oliver descended the stairs, briefly looking down at his phone before he tucked it back in his jacket pocket.

Moving past her with a grin, Tommy motioned to the DJ to cut the music and then hurried up the first few steps to meet Oliver. "Everybody, hey," he called out, drawing everyone's attention to him. With a hand on Oliver's shoulder, he patted his chest. "Man of the  _hour!_ " he yelled, with the crowd cheering happily for him. "The prodigal prince has returned! Give him a proper welcome!"

With a smirk, Oliver stepped off the stairs and into the crowd, strains of 'We are the Champions' playing out in the background.

While many a stranger reached out to pat his arm and back in congratulations on his return, Oliver offered nods and smiles to each, but didn't stop to chat, instead making his way to a set of stairs leading onto a small platform. He winked at Felicity as he passed and then scooped up a shot Tommy was offering to him, which he held above in cheers as he called out, "Thank you, everybody." Knocking pack his shot, he grinned for the crowd, and shouted, "I missed tequila!"

They cheered back happily and the music picked up, the bass throbbing.

Felicity faintly smiled, shaking her head at the showmanship. She was well used to it by now, having joined Tommy on many a trip to the club. Still, it was interesting to see Oliver in this setting, especially after seeing him so lighthearted and calm in her office at lunch. Sometimes she felt like there were two of him, and she was never quite sure which was real. Or maybe that was just it; maybe both were real. Or none. Maybe she didn't know the real him at all.

Deep thoughts for a club, she decided, before turning to walk to the bar, where a cocktail was definitely calling her name.

* * *

"Can I buy you a drink?" Oliver asked as he stepped up beside her, sitting atop a stool at the bar.

She looked up at him, amused. "It's an open bar. Tommy paid for everything ahead of time," she reminded.

"Is it too early to make a 'cheap date' joke?" He rested an elbow on the bar as his eyes washed over her face.

Her lips turned up at the corners. "I know it's been five years, but I think your technique is rusty."

He laughed under his breath, ducking his head a little lower to catch her eyes. "What are you drinking?"

"Something fruity and sweet, hides the alcohol enough that I'll probably get drunker faster than I mean to," she told him, taking another sip.

His gaze fell to her bright red lips. "You look beautiful."

She raised an eyebrow. "What? This old thing…?"

He grinned. "I especially like the shoes.  _Green_. Good color on you."

She looked down at her feet before raising her leg and crossing it over the other at the knee. "They're my favorite."

He admired the long length of her leg before his gaze settled on her shoes again and he couldn't help the stab of desire that hit his gut. Without meaning to, she was wearing his color, and some primal part of him took it as a sign. The rest of him, however, knew that she had no idea what it meant or why he would find it so fitting.

Resting her chin on her upturned fist, she asked, "How are you liking your party?"

He nodded. "It's good.  _Loud_." He leaned closer to her so she could hear him better. "Exactly what I was expecting."

"Then we did our job." She dusted her hands off in a sign of job well done and tipped her chin up to see him better, but all it did was bring their mouths that much closer, nothing but a few inches separating them. She glanced at his lips before raising her eyes to meet his. "Is the stoic, silent one yours?" she wondered.

He turned his head and spotted Diggle across the room, his hands crossed at the wrist, a serious expression settling over his face as he kept an eye on Oliver. "He is… I haven't decided if that's a good or bad thing yet."

"Well, he looks capable," she mused, tipping her head thoughtfully. "Thea said she's seen him around the manor a lot, but never with you…" She raised a knowing eyebrow. "Since he didn't come to lunch yesterday either, I'll take a wild guess that you've been ditching him."

His lips twitched. "You know me too well."

"As a concerned friend, one who only recently found out you were alive and then had to go through the panic of a kidnapping…" She reached across and touched his forearm, squeezing meaningfully. "Maybe let the guy do his job?"

Oliver stared down at her beseeching expression and sighed. "I don't want to lie to you."

"Then don't," she said simply.

He clenched his teeth, a muscle ticking in his jaw, and then turned his eyes down to meet hers. "I don't like being followed… I don't like having someone watch my every move." He shook his head. "I need space. And there's not a whole lot around when I've got a 6 foot 3 shadow."

"Space is great, unless you're not around to enjoy it." Her thumb rubbed circles on his arm, but Oliver was pretty sure she didn't even know she was doing it. "I know you don't like it, but this last week has had two shocks too many, only one of which was good. So maybe just find a way to cope until the kidnappers are found?"

He sighed, watching her stare up at him. "You're really worried," he said, his brow furrowing.

She shifted back. "Of course I am. I only just…  _We_ just got you back. I don't want anything to happen to you… Thea and Tommy, they'd never survive it a second time."

He opened his mouth to reply, wanting to know how  _she_  would cope, how her slip of the tongue would have finished with  _her_  getting him back, and he liked that, he wanted to hear that, he wanted her to call him hers.

But then Tommy was there, a hand on either of their shoulders as he grinned between them. "How are two of my favorite people?"

"Felicity's getting drunk off pink cocktails and I'm actively pretending I don't have a bodyguard bringing down the party."

Tommy glanced past him toward Diggle and snorted. "Does he wipe for you, too?"

"Tommy," Felicity chastised, slapping his chest with the back of her hand.

He clutched his chest like he'd been mortally wounded. "Your violent side is showing. Maybe you should slow down on the cocktails."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Keep it up and you'll be  _wearing_  this cocktail."

He grinned at her. "I look good in pink."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Oliver watched the volley of banter and, not for the first time, felt jealousy stir in his gut.

Mid-laugh, Tommy seemed to catch on. Dropping a hand back on Oliver's shoulder, he stabbed a finger at his chest. "Listen, the real reason I dropped by… By my rough estimate, you haven't had sex in, oh, 1,839 days…"

Felicity choked on the cocktail she was sipping, her fingers lifting to catch any that slipped out before she licked them clean. Oliver found himself distracted by her lips cradling her finger and swallowed tightly.

"As your wingman, I highly recommend Carmen Golden," Tommy piped up again, drawing Oliver's attention to him and turning him toward where three women were dancing on platforms.

"Which one is she?" he asked.

"The one that looks like the chick from Twilight."

"What's Twilight?"

"You're so better off not knowing..."

Felicity snorted. "You watched every single movie, Tommy."

"Well, after you watch one, you have to watch the rest," he defended, his head swiveling back to see her behind Oliver's back.

"You were Team Jacob, don't even deny it."

Oliver was about to turn back and ask them to explain Twilight so he could understand, but he paused when he noticed something exchanging hands between a few of the party-goers. Drugs. He was sure of that, he just wasn't sure what kind. His attention was further taken when he noticed a familiar face amongst the crowd. Thea was dancing with a few girls that looked to be about her age, and he frowned. Not only was she underage, but just feet from her, drugs were being handed around. This wasn't the kind of environment he wanted his little sister in.

"Be back in a minute," he said shortly, before leaving Tommy and Felicity to cross the room toward Thea.

"Ollie!" she exclaimed happily. "This party is awesome. I think I have to tip my hat at Felicity."

Taking her by the arm, he drew her away from her friends so they could talk privately. "Who let you in here?"

She grinned, amused by him. "I believe it was someone who said, 'Right this way, Miss Queen.'" She rolled her eyes. "I told Felicity to put me on the guest list, but even after five years of loyal friendship, she still pulls the underage card on me."

"She was right. You shouldn't be in here."

She scoffed. "I'm not 12 anymore. And, besides, I'm just having a good time. What's wrong with a little dancing?" She shrugged. "I promise I'm keeping it strictly Coke on the rocks."

He inhaled deeply and let it out on a sigh. "This isn't the kind of place you should be in…"

"Ollie, I'm 17, and no offense, but you were doing far worse when you were my age." She shook her head. "Listen, I promise I'm not doing anything crazy, okay? Felicity's already had multiple awkward conversations with me about the dangers of underage drinking and peer pressure… Honestly, I'm just here to dance with a few friends." She held up two fingers. "Scout's honor, I'll even be home by curfew… Well, not that I have one, but I'll wager it's sometime around midnight."

Grinding his teeth, he looked from her to the bar, where Felicity was no longer seated. Taking a leap of faith, he looked back at Thea. "Eleven and no later."

She squinted her eyes at him. "Eleven-thirty." Before he could open his mouth to argue, she pointed at him, "Cut a girl some slack, my brother just came back from the dead."

Licking his lips, he nodded. "Fine. Eleven-thirty. And you have a driver pick you up."

"Deal," she agreed before grinning widely. "Now can I get back to my friends?"

He stepped out of her way, and couldn't help a smile when she leaned up and popped a kiss on his cheek. "Congrats on the killer party," she said before she walked off to rejoin her friends.

He turned to see her go, mildly encouraged that he hadn't smelled alcohol on her breath. Maybe he really had lucked out and she wasn't as damaged as she could be after the trauma of losing her brother and father. He was pretty sure he owed that in part to the beautiful, blonde IT genius he couldn't currently pick out of the crowd. He did, however, notice that Diggle was closer; he'd apparently followed after him when he went to see Thea.

He started back toward the bar, still searching for her when he finally spotted gold out of the corner of his eye. Turning on his heel, he moved toward her, his hand settling on her hip as he came around to face her. "I leave for one minute and I'm abandoned by the only people I know here…"

Felicity smiled up at him. "I wasn't sure how long the brother-sister bonding moment was going to last."

"You knew she was here?" he asked, brow raised.

"She always lets me know." She shrugged. "It didn't take me long to figure out that if Thea wanted in somewhere, it wasn't hard for her to get her way. But she needed rules, and so did I, for peace of mind… She can come, but there's no drinking, and she needs to let me know where she is. It's not perfect, but it's something."

He stared down at her, a swell of gratitude building in his chest. He shook his head and pointed toward the stairs. "Can we talk? Somewhere with less bass…"

She nodded. "Sure."

Hand sliding to the small of her back, he directed her toward the stairs. They climbed to the standing area above; the center was open, with railings circling it so people could look down on the dancing clubbers. But Oliver drew her further from the crowd and the music that made it almost too hard to think. The lighting on this floor was better and he found he could see her much more clearly. She tucked her hair behind her ear, waves of golden blonde curls that fell attractively down her shoulders. There were knots of gold in her ears, not quite as dramatic or eye-catching as the ruby clusters she'd worn at work earlier, but still beautiful. Somehow Felicity always managed to set herself apart. While her dress was form fitting, it wasn't much for revealing skin, seeming somehow elegant among the scooped neck dresses below. Which wasn't to say he wouldn't appreciate that style on her either, he just liked that she never quite followed the status quo, adding her own splash of color, like her green shoes, making her outfit unique to her.

"You're staring."

He shook his head faintly. "For good reason."

"You didn't bring me up here to compliment me… I don't think." She stared up at him curiously. "What's up?"

He shifted his feet for a moment. "I wanted to thank you."

Her brow furrowed. "For tonight? Because I might've put it together, but it was really Tommy's idea."

"Not for tonight," he said, reaching for one of her hands and cradling it in his own, his thumb rubbing circles over her knuckles. "What you did for Thea… I can't thank you enough for that."

She shook her head. "Oh. I didn't—"

"You did," he interrupted. "Thea was… very attached to me growing up. And she was young when I left on the yacht. I don't know how she would've coped without someone there. I'm just glad it was you. I know the situation was probably really hard for you, but you really…" He breathed out a heavy sigh. "You told me before that you took care of them because you knew it was what I would want. You were right. You did more for me than I could ever repay."

She smiled gently and squeezed his hand. "In the beginning, yes, I was trying to help them because I know how much they mattered to you. But in the process, they started to matter a lot to me. If Thea's better off because I was in her life, it's a two-way street. I'm sure my closet and my hair dresser would agree."

He nodded. "And Tommy?"

A brief laugh left her, full of warm affection. 'Tommy is my far less restrained, extremely outgoing, bad influence of an other half…" She shrugged. "I'm not sure I would've had half as much fun in my life if he wasn't around to share in it."

"That last part, at least, I can definitely say the same… The first half, I'm pretty sure he was considered the tame one."

Her lips quirked. "Oh, I've heard the stories."

He chuckled. "And I'm sure they painted me in a  _flattering_ light."

Her eyebrows hiked. "Speaking of paint, I seem to remember a story about you offering to be a nude model for a senior's art class…"

His mouth dropped open and he raised a finger. "In my defense, I didn't so much volunteer as lose a bet."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I hear you were a real hit with the ladies…" She reached up as if to readjust her glasses, only to realize they weren't there. She bit her lip and let her fingers flutter down by her side once more. "And some of the men."

"I was twenty and overly-confident." He shrugged. "To be honest, I probably had a small exhibitionist streak."

"I've heard."

A beeping noise interrupted them then and Oliver's good mood dissipated. Reaching inside his jacket, he pulled out his phone. It was ten o'clock, the time flashed at him before the screen changed to the Starling Citizens bank account balance that should be reading $40 million, but still said zero, meaning Hunt hadn't come through and now he had to retaliate. His lips folded in a frown and he felt a stab of disappointment in his chest. Things had been going well. He was making progress with Felicity, she was getting comfortable with him, and now he had to don the mask again and return to his mission.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up, his brows raised.

"You have your serious thinking face on." She stared up at him searchingly, her gaze briefly glancing at his phone. "Is everything… okay?"

"Yes, it's just… I asked someone to do something…" He shook his head. "They didn't do it."

"And was that something really important? Because the intensity factor just went up about six notches."

He let out a heavy sigh and reached for her hands, rubbing his thumbs over the tops. "I'd really like to stay here… with you."

She nodded slowly. "But you can't."

He licked his lips as he shook his head.

"But it's important."

He met her eyes for a long moment and nodded.

She bit her lip and finally said, "Okay."

"Okay?"

She squeezed his hand and stepped toward him before reaching up on her tip toes and kissing his cheek, her hand replacing her lips so she could rub away the red print she'd left behind. "Welcome back, Oliver."

For a moment, he felt time freeze, the weight of her lips pressed to his skin and her breathy voice so close to his ear, it was like a dream he'd had too many times, only to wake up and find it wasn't real.

But when he opened his eyes, there she was, looking up at him. The relief was palpable.

"You want me to tell Tommy you snuck away with someone?" she offered. Maybe Carmen Golden? I know she snuck out early with an unknown someone. He'll never know the difference."

"He wouldn't believe it," he dismissed.

Her brow furrowed.

"He's still playing wingman, because that's what he's used to being, but… he knows I'm off the board."

Her eyes fell before she shrugged slightly. "Well, maybe that's for the best for now… You need some time to readjust, find your feet again… Five years is a long time."

"I do," he agreed, nodding faintly. "But some things aren't going to change. Things I want, things I need to do, people I need to be better for…"

Her gaze met his once more, her brow furrowed uncertainly.

"Thank you for offering," he told her. "I won't be long. I'll be back in time to cut the cake I'm sure you have hidden somewhere."

Her lips twitched at the corners. "Am I that predictable?"

"I just know how much you like cake, and why waste a great opportunity?"

She laughed under her breath. "Guilty."

"Have fun tonight," he asked of her genuinely. "If I'm lucky, I might steal you away for a dance."

"My two left feet would beg to differ how 'lucky' you'd be, but I'll try my best to have a good time. Maybe crash Thea's gaggle of girlfriends."

"Good." He let his eyes wash over her face a moment longer before finally stepping back. "Have a pink cocktail on me," he told her with a wink before turning on his heel and walking away.

Oliver made his way down into the club once more and slipped around the edges of the room until finally sneaking through the staff door to the hall leading to the kitchen. He walked through the mostly empty hall of stainless steel with fridges and rolling shelves pressed to either wall. Buttoning his jacket, his walked with purpose, already going over what he would need to do in order to get to Hunt's across the street. While he hadn't explicitly asked Felicity to keep it quiet that he'd snuck away, he trusted that she wouldn't give him up if anything happened. Vaguely, he heard a voice that sounded a lot like Slade's telling him he was an idiot for trusting so easily.

He ignored it.

Just as he was passing a hallway leading into the much busier kitchen area, he heard a familiar, deep voice.

"Something I can help you with, sir?"

Oliver paused, his head turned up, and he took a moment before turning abruptly to see the unamused Diggle standing there.

He offered a lighthearted smile. "I just needed a minute to myself."

"I would believe you, Mr. Queen, if you weren't so full of crap." He walked toward him, hands tucked in the pockets of his suit pants.

Oliver dropped his gaze to the floor for a moment and then nodded.

"The party's this way…" Diggle said, motioning toward a door leading back into the club.

Oliver walked toward it, reaching for the handle, and gave it a wiggle. "It's locked."

Looking exasperated, Diggle moved forward to try the handle himself.

Quick and easy, Oliver slipped an arm in and around his head, squeezing his arm around Diggle's throat, cutting of his oxygen supply.

It didn't take long for him to pass out from air deprivation.

Leaving him leaning against the wall, Oliver readjusted his jacket and walked away.

He had a name to strike off his list.


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Thea's outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/thea_queen/set?id=108410496)  
>  **Felicity's outfit** : [link](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_smoak/set?id=108411116)

**[ ](http://dhfreak.tumblr.com/post/68514146445/if-i-were-a-better-man-series-by) **

**V**.

Felicity would be lying if she said she wasn't constantly looking around to see if he'd come back yet. And each time she did, she chastised herself for it. Yes, whenever they talked, she found herself getting sucked in, but she was  _not_ going to go through that whole thing again. Well, minus the island, because the chances of that happening a second time were slim. But him getting her hopes up only to dash them as he traded her in for someone else…? Still a possibility.

She could admit that there was something different about him. And logic said that, given what he'd been through, obviously he wasn't going to be the exact same guy he had been. But there were times that it looked like he was trying to be. Moments where it was like he picked up his old self as if it was as easy as turning a page in a book and playing a character. Maybe it was a defense mechanism. He knew he was different and probably knew most expected him to be exactly who he used to be, and fearing they might not like the new him, he tried to go back to old habits.

Or maybe she was psychoanalyzing things too much.

Thea's voice suddenly grabbed her attention. "Pink, I like it. Take pity on an underage girl and let her have a taste?"

Felicity turned to face her, a brow raised. "I'm not sure how responsible that is…"

"One sip isn't going to get me drunk, 'City, c'mon…" She offered up a pleading puppy-dog face, her lip out and everything. "Pity me…?"

With a snort, Felicity held her cocktail out. "Fine. But don't get used to it."

With a lighthearted roll of her eyes, Thea took a generous gulp of the cocktail and then, seeing there was only a little left anyway, shrugged, and downed the rest. She waved a finger at the bartender and held the glass up meaningfully. Without a question asked, the bartender put down another pink cocktail.

"Well, that's not encouraging…" Felicity frowned. "Hey, she's underage." She pointed a thumb at Thea. "I find out you gave her another drink and I'll be personally talking to your boss."

"Felicity," Thea laughed, reaching for her arm. "Pull back on the mom-mode."

Ignoring her, Felicity motioned in an 'I've got my eyes on you' gesture for the unconcerned bartender to see before she finally turned to Thea. "Hey, that's not just about you. These bars can't just hand out drinks all willy-nilly, especially not when Tommy's footing the tab. The next thing you know, we'll have press crawling all over the place, blaming us for the recent alcoholism problem with teenagers."

"Okay, you  _clearly_ need this more than I do," Thea said, picking up her cocktail and handing it to Felicity. "Drink, lighten up, maybe make out with a cute boy or six."

" _Six?_ "

"See, now one doesn't seem too bad, does it?" She wiggled her eyebrows and nodded her chin to the left. "I see one checking you out right and, I have to say, he's definitely worth a second glance."

Felicity rolled her eyes but turned her head to see who Thea was motioning too. And there, standing with a few others, was a handsome man with an attractive smile. He winked at Felicity and raised his drink in cheers. She tipped her cocktail before taking a sip from it, but turned her attention back to Thea. "What are you doing over here, anyway? Shouldn't you be dancing with your friends?"

She shrugged, mouth screwing up in a frown. "I got bored. Half of them only tagged along because they knew I could get them inside anyway."

"You want me to have the bouncer throw them out?" she offered jokingly.

"Maybe just Madison. She's a bitch."

" _Thea!_ "

She laughed lightly, her head falling back. "Chill out. I was kidding… Kind of. She really is a bitch. But you don't have to throw her out." She waved a dismissive hand. "Unless you want to."

With a snort, Felicity merely shook her head.

"So? Where's my brother?" Leaning her elbows back on the bar, Thea glanced around. "I saw you two sneak out earlier, but you're still here and not sporting any hickeys, so I guess he didn't get too far in his plan to woo you."

"He is  _not_ trying to woo me," she argued. "He just wanted to thank me for being around, and trying to look out for you while he was… missing. He was worried about you. You guys were close."

"Are you kidding? I used to hang off him every chance I got. I had stars in my eyes for him."

"He's your big brother, I'm pretty sure that's expected. Considering I don't have one, I can't confirm it, but I have it on good authority that it's totally acceptable."

Thea smiled, amused. "Yeah, well…" She shrugged. "It's weird. I'm glad he's back. It's like a miracle, I know that. I just… I guess I still expect him to be exactly how he used to be and he's not… Not completely anyway. He has his moments."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…" She sobered, her smile falling. "But he's so serious now. He's always in his head." With a shake of her head, she smirked. "Whatever. It's probably just because of the island, right? I doubt he even had a Wilson to talk to."

"It's okay to be worried," Felicity told her seriously. "It's okay if things feel weird or you don't know what to say to him. It doesn't make you a bad person."

"And if I just want him to be normal and who he used to be, does  _that_  make me a bad person?"

Felicity hugged an arm around her and squeezed. "There's nothing you could do that'd ever make you bad in my books."

Smiling, Thea dropped her head to Felicity's shoulder. "Well, you're a softie, so that hardly counts."

"I am not," she claimed.

Thea laughed. "You totally are. You still cry when we watch Disney movies."

"They're very emotional!"

"Look at that, my two favorite ladies," Tommy's voice intervened before their argument could continue.

He clapped his hands together as he reached them. "All right, which one of you can tell me where the big guy is? Last I saw him, he was sneaking off for some alone time with  _you_ ," he said, pointing at Felicity.

With a roll of her eyes, she replied, "For the last time, it wasn't like that… And he's around here somewhere, he's probably just mingling. There's a lot of people to see since you invited half of Starling City's elite."

"Elite doesn't mean any less trashy though," Thea sniffed, raising an eyebrow at a man stumbling all over the place, very obviously drunk. He'd unbuttoned his shirt and was waving around a bottle of champagne.

"Thea, be nice," Felicity admonished before glancing at Tommy. "Although that guy probably needs a cab. Is there somebody we could talk to about arranging that?"

"Your bleeding heart is killing me," Tommy replied, but glanced around until he spotted one of the staff members and waved them over. It didn't take long to send the man off to call for a cab and then have security escort the drunken man toward the doors.

"Back to the problem at hand. I need to know where Oliver is. We've got cake in twenty."

Before Felicity could answer, the music cut out and they turned to see men in police issue armor and holding guns run onto the stage. A swarm of them filled the room and rushed down the stairs. And then, to her right, she heard a familiar voice.

"Starling City Police, the party's over, kids," Detective Quentin Lance called out, waving his hands at everyone.

A collective groan of disappointment went up.

The detective continued through the crowd until he reached them and Felicity noticed Thea carefully hid herself in the crowd so not to be recognized.

"Tommy, Felicity…" Quentin looked between them. "Sorry to interrupt, but we've got a situation."

"What kind of situation needs this many guns?" a voice piped up and Felicity turned, surprised to see Oliver was back and taking up his position next to Tommy.

For a minute, she had a flashback to the days of old when she'd seen them in the clubs, two princes banding together for chaos and fun. It seemed Tommy too was remembering those days because he grinned goofily at having his best friend beside him.

Looking irritated that he even had to speak to Oliver, Detective Lance's voice took on a far less friendly tone. "There was an incident at Adam Hunt's building tonight. You know anything about that?"

Brow furrowed, Oliver shook his head. "Who's Adam Hunt?"

"He's a millionaire bottom-feeder, and I'm kind of surprised you aren't friends."

" _Detective Lance_ ," Felicity said, stepping up and between Oliver and Tommy, her hands on either of their forearms as she faced off with him. "We'll do whatever we can to cooperate with your investigation, but with how loud and busy things have been here, I doubt anybody saw anything happening across the street."

"I appreciate that, Miss Smoak, but this isn't just anybody we're dealing with…" His gaze bounced between the three of them. "Adam Hunt was attacked by the guy with the  _hood_ …" He stared at Oliver, his eyes hard. "The guy who saved your ass the other day."

"The Hood Guy." He nodded, smirking. "You didn't find him?"

Felicity's nails bit through his sleeve to his arm. " _Oliver…_ "

"It's fine," he told her, before casting a grin back at the crowd. "Here, I'll help. I'm gonna offer a reward…" He turned to the crowd, two fingers raised. "Hey, everybody. Two millions dollars to anybody who can find a nutbar in a green hood…"

A cheer went up, the guests getting rowdy once more.

Oliver turned back to face Lance once more, brow raised.

Angrily, Detective Lance stepped toward him. "Did you even try to save her?" he demanded, his voice unsteady.

"Okay, let's go, partner," Detective Hilton said, his hand on Lance's chest.

Ignoring him, Lance continued, "Did you even try to save my daughter?"

Felicity's breath caught in her throat and she released her grip on Oliver's arm, taking a step away from him.

Oliver's jaw ticked, his shoulders tightening up.

"Sara wouldn't want this," Hilton said, pushing Lance back.

Teeth grit, Lance looked like he wanted to shove his partner off. But he didn't, and Hilton was able to keep him moving, quietly soothing his rage to a manageable degree.

Oliver's face fell the further the detective got and Felicity watched his hands ball up into fists.

While a part of her wanted to reach out and soothe him, another part couldn't stop thinking of Sara Lance. Sometimes, since Oliver had returned, and she hated herself for it, she forgot all about the woman he had whisked away, which ended up leading to her death, even if it wasn't really his fault. She didn't deserve that. Of course, no one on the Queen's Gambit deserved what happened to them. But Sara stuck with her, more because she related in some way. Sara had done what Felicity hadn't been able to. She threw away any sense of self-restraint and joined Oliver on his adventure. It wasn't Sara's fault that Oliver brought her on the yacht. She was a consenting adult who wanted to have a little fun with a handsome and charming man. No, the blame for that particular issue was with Oliver, but Felicity still wasn't sure blame was what she felt toward him anymore.

What she knew was that she didn't feel comfortable touching him right now. And, despite everything that had happened lately to bring them closer, she suddenly felt a gulf between them.

Oliver turned, seeing she was well out of reach again. His head tipped and his lips parted like he wanted to say something to change that.

She didn't let him.

"I think it's time for cake," she announced before reaching over to pat Tommy's chest. "I'll go talk to the staff, you get the party going again, huh?"

He nodded at her, looking between her and Oliver uncertainly.

She ignored the clear question in his face and moved to leave.

"Felicity," Oliver's voice called after her.

"Do me a favor and act surprised," she said over her shoulder, offering a faint smile.

His shoulders slumped, face falling, and she turned around, leaving him in the middle of the crowd as she pushed forward. This was okay, it was good; she needed to be reminded of why she was keeping a friendly distance between them. The history there was tainted, and she wasn't sure that would or could ever change. If tears bit at her eyes as she fled into the kitchen, she blamed it on the new mascara she'd recently touched up. Maybe she was allergic.

* * *

After the cake came out, with so many sparklers he had to cover his eyes, Oliver lost track of Felicity. She briefly stopped near Tommy, he'd seen that much, a short conversation was exchanged, and then, as the night continued, he never saw her again. He noticed pink cocktails being passed around, but they were never in the hands he was searching for. Thea left at eleven-thirty, as promised, kissing his cheek before she went and offering, "I haven't seen her," before he could even get the question out. She winked before she went, and he considered the possibility that he should probably be worried how easily his sister read him.

The night continued until two in the morning, much of which he spent hanging out with Tommy. Despite his earlier foray in taking out the many guards at Hunt's disposal and making his grand escape back in time to head-off Detective Lance, he enjoyed his night of being welcomed back to Starling City. He didn't recognize most of the guests, he managed to avoid drinking without anyone noticing his reticence, and he turned down more company than the old him ever would. Most of the night, they just spent sitting at a table, going over their previous exploits and laughing.

He hadn't laughed so hard in ages.

Tommy had always been good for that.

When the night ended, they were of the last few to leave and he hugged Tommy in thanks for the party, clapping his back before he let go and sent his best friend off in the first cab to pull up. When Tommy was gone, Oliver detoured on foot toward the Glades and made his way down into his foundry. There he found the arrow he'd let loose in Hunt's office was doing its job to crack its way into Hunt's personal bank account; by morning, Hunt would realize his account had been drained of the $40 million the Hood had demanded, and in the same time frame, the people he'd taken it from would find their bank accounts flush with what they were owed.

With a satisfied nod of his head, he left the foundry and dug out the motorcycle he kept there for just this purpose. He sped home, already eager to get some rest. He might've enjoyed his welcome back party in some respects, but in others it only served to exhaust him. By the time he made his way into his bedroom, he could feel how tired he was weighing heavy on his shoulders. He stripped down and took a shower before he climbed into bed and, as per routine, dug out the keychain he'd had for so long.

He'd felt it as she pulled away. Just as sharply as her nails digging into his arm, warning him to stop, that his showboating wasn't warranted. A part of him knew she was right, another part thought it would help to keep up his carefree image. He knew he'd made a mistake as soon as Lance brought up Sara. Oliver knew the man in front of him had every right to hate him. And just as quickly as he'd donned the mask of careless playboy billionaire, it slipped. And so did Felicity's hand from his arm, along with her trust in him. He'd been making progress, he knew that. She'd let him share lunch with her, she'd joked with him, even kissed his cheek. She was letting him in, letting him try, but he felt her pull away as clearly as a wall being erected, and he wasn't sure how he was going to fight against it.

Slade would tell him to walk away. She would only be an unnecessary distraction. But he ignored that advice and he squeezed the keychain until the corners bit into his hand. While it wasn't a success, it had shown him one thing…

There was still something between them, still tension, still that warm feeling in his chest, and a swooping in his stomach when she laughed or smiled at him. And if the way she looked at him was anything to go by, she was feeling it too. Even if she wasn't sure she wanted to and he hadn't proven yet that he was worth the risk, some part of her remembered what it was to have feelings for him. And that gave him hope.

* * *

Felicity waved at the guard on duty beside the gate leading into Queen Manor. "Hey Henry, how's your morning going?" she wondered.

He nodded at her. "Not bad, Miss Smoak. Yours?"

"Good." She smiled. "It'll be even better if Thea's actually up this morning."

"Are you two doing brunch here or are you going out?"

She hummed. "I think we'll go out. I know Raisa has today off and there's a nice coffee shop I found the other day that makes  _amazing_ scones." She winked. "Maybe I'll bring you one back."

He chuckled under his breath. "My wife's got me on a no-carb diet, but I won't tell if you don't."

She made a zipper motion over her mouth and smiled.

Pressing a button to open the gates, he nodded her forward. "Have a nice morning, Miss Smoak."

"You too."

Driving through the tall, wrought iron gates, she followed the long drive up to the circle, stopping in front of the doors as she usually did. Hopping out before any of the guards or staff could offer to help, she made her way to the front doors, walking in without knocking. She spotted Albert, one of the cleaning staff, on her way to the stairs.

"Hey Al, have you seen Thea up and about yet?"

He looked over and smiled at her pleasantly. "I have. I think she's practicing in the back."

"Great. Thanks!" Walking past him, she made her way down the hall, past the sitting room and a library that she'd spent more than a few afternoons oohing and awing over, before finally reaching the door leading into the back yard, which might as well be called a small park. Trees and bushes gave the area a rustic, woodsy feel, while a stone path led into the area Felicity didn't often visit, where two graves sat, citing Oliver's and his father's names. She passed her eyes over it quickly, a familiar stab at her heart making her frown, and made her way toward the large grassy expanse Thea usually used for practice.

She didn't have her target and bow out that morning, much to Felicity's disappointment. A few years earlier, when she was trying to encourage Thea to get into some kind of extra-curricular activity to take her mind off of things, she'd mentioned that she used to be an archery champion. Going with it, Felicity had bought her a target and even offered to take classes with her to help polish the skill. Unfortunately, Felicity wasn't nearly as good with a bow as Thea was, but she knew the basics and enjoyed trying.

The mats that were laid out were thick and Thea was currently using them to practice her front flips. Over the last four years, they'd been in and out of various self-defence classes. It was born out of an attempted kidnapping almost a year after the Queen's Gambit had sunk. While Felicity and the pepper spray her father gave her put the guy down for the count, the whole situation still shook up Thea. In an effort to help her regain her independence and strength, Felicity had signed them up for self-defence classes, and Thea was surprisingly receptive to it. From the basics to kick-boxing to Jiu-Jitsu to, Thea's favorite, Muay Thai, they tried everything until she felt like she was capable of taking on anyone who ever tried to make her into a victim.

And, while bows and arrows weren't her forte, Felicity was surprised to find she was actually quite good at hand-to-hand combat. She didn't plan on getting into fights, but she felt confident in her abilities if something ever happened that warranted her stepping in. Admittedly, there had been a few nights at the clubs with Tommy where he gained some unsavory attention from men who didn't appreciate how easy it was for Tommy to pick up women, especially when those women already had boyfriends. Felicity wouldn't call twisting someone's hand at just the right angle in order to keep them from attacking  _exactly_ a fight; it was more of a…  _pre-emptive strike_. It gave Tommy enough time to get away and it safely stopped a fight from breaking out, especially since most men were either unwilling to fight a woman or, after getting a taste of what she knew, afraid of being  _beaten_  by a woman. Whatever the reason, it got her and Tommy out of hot water a few times, and it made her feel like the strong, independent woman she was.

"You're wobbling a bit on the landing," she said.

"Always a critic," Thea said, pushing up to her feet to quirk an eyebrow. "You're early."

"You're actually out of bed…" Her head tipped thoughtfully. "Usually I have to drag you out from your covers. What's up?"

Thea shrugged. "Nothing. I just… I don't know. I've been working out more lately. My head's kind of full, you know? And working out helps me sort everything out."

"Makes sense." She nodded her head back to the house. "You want to work out some more or are you ready for brunch?"

Bending to grab up her mats, she shook her head. "I'm hungry, and totally ready to replace any calories I just burned off with something flaky and buttery."

Chuckling, Felicity helped her carry her mats in and followed her in to the house. "Didn't your mom say you could set up a workout room inside?"

"Yeah, but I like it out here. It's peaceful."

After dropping the mats off in a closet, Thea promised she'd be back in a flash and hurried upstairs to shower and change. While she waited, Felicity wandered back into the library. There was always something new for her to borrow, so she happily spent some time browsing, looking for her next read.

She had a small stack in her hands when Thea finally rejoined her, looking fashionable and cute in her bright red jeans, white sweater, and black heels with lace flowers decorating the tops. If she wasn't so used to it, Felicity might've felt underdressed in cat-face flats, black skinny jeans, and a pink peplum top. But, as it was, she'd long ago gotten used to Thea looking like a supermodel for even the most common of things. All the power to her, of course, since she pulled it off every time.

"So? Where to?" Thea wondered as she pulled her seatbelt down around her.

"There's this cute little coffee shop I want to show you," Felicity said as she put her car into drive.

"Cool." Thea smiled and then glanced around. "By the way, have I mentioned how much I like the new car?"

"It's nice, right?" She shrugged. "Well, I figured it was time to really commit to something instead of just leasing and with my raise, I thought I should get something good." She pointed to a dial and wiggled her eyebrows. "Look, seat warmers."

"Ah, you're really moving up in the world," Thea joked. "Very adult."

Felicity laughed.

As they passed through the gates, Felicity waved at Henry and then continued down the road that led around the sprawling, stone-wall ensconced property of Queen Manor. Thea played with her radio, much like she always did, despite knowing how much it truly annoyed Felicity. She eventually settled on something distinctly poppy and much of the drive into the city was spent singing loud and off-key, in between laughing at themselves and each other.

"Ooh, ooh, there," Thea said, pointing at a parking spot up ahead.

Just as she pointed it out, however, someone else filled it.

"Ah, jerk."

Felicity laughed. "It's not like he knew we were going to park there."

"You know, we have drivers that do this kind of thing. We wouldn't need to worry about parking," Thea reminded. "Plus, they get a paycheck. So you're basically taking food out of children's mouths."

She snorted. "First of all, your drivers get paid for being on-call. They just happen to make more when they're actually used. And FYI, they get used a lot. I'm perfectly happy parking my own car and opening my own doors." She rolled her eyes before searching around for another spot. "And I seem to remember you were the one talking up getting a new car for your birthday, so who's stealing food out of kid's mouths now?"

Thea inhaled to argue, but then pointed abruptly. "There! Get it, get it!" She drummed a hand against the dashboard eagerly.

"I'm going to warn your mom not to get you a car. I can already see an inner rage-monster coming out. You'd be the one honking at everyone for going too slow."

"Okay, that was  _one_  time!" she argued.

"Thea, you reached across me to honk at them and they were going the speed limit."

"Well, the speed limit was  _wrong_ ," she muttered.

Felicity shook her head, but managed to get the parking spot she'd picked out, so she left the argument for the time-being. Pushing her way out of her car, she tugged her purse over her arm and circled around to the sidewalk to walk with her.

"All right, show me this awesome coffee shop, because I need a caffeine fix like major," Thea declared.

Grinning, Felicity pointed her thumb to the left and, together, they crossed the street. It was about a block's walk, but it was a nice day out and she didn't mind. As they went, Thea was quick to get distracted by the shops or, more accurately, the pretty things in the shop windows.

"Oh, Felicity, look, look." She tapped a finger against the window. "If anyone asks what I want for my birthday, tell them a car, and then tell them I want that purse." She smiled back at her. "Emphasize the car, but don't skimp on the awesome of this purse."

Laughing, Felicity tugged her away from the window and they continued down the sidewalk. "So? How's school been?"

Hugging her arms across her chest, Thea shrugged. "I don't know. Good, I guess."

"You guess?"

She frowned. "Weird…? It's just… People ask a lot of questions. None that I want to answer. And, I don't know, I just never really feel like I fit."

"Well, that might be my fault, and Tommy's, since your adolescence was spent hanging out with people way older than you when you should've been acting your age and… doing whatever teenagers do these days."

She snorted. "Wow, that was really insightful."

"All right, so I'm not exactly tuned into what's cool right now." She shrugged. "But Thea, you're one of the smartest, friendliest, most fashionable people I know… In fact, scratch the 'one of,' you are  _the_ most, okay?"

She smiled, her head tipping as she stared up at her friend with appreciation. "Now, see, maybe if you were a seventeen year old girl at my school, I'd have somebody I like to hang out with."

"Oh, trust me, I was not who you wanted to be hanging out with at seventeen." Felicity waved her hands through the air negatively. "I was awkward and had even worse word diarrhea than I do now, and wow, frizzy was like a state of being for my hair."

She laughed. "Well I'm sure I could've helped you out with that." She reached over and hooked her arm with Felicity's. "Trust me, you and me, we would've been friends."

Felicity shook her head. "Lucky me."

"Unfortunately, you aren't in my school, so I'm stuck with the Madison's of the world…" Her nose scrunched up with distaste.

"Okay, she can't be that bad."

"In seventh grade, she put glue in my hair." She pointed at her head. "I had a bald patch."

Felicity bit her lip.

"It's not funny! I was called 'Baldy' for like a whole month."

When Felicity couldn't swallow back her laughter, Thea elbowed her, but smiled.

"Shut up…"

"How big was it?" Felicity wondered. "Are there pictures?"

"I take it back. You  _suck_."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry…  _Baldy_."

With a sigh of exasperation, Thea released her arm and walked a few steps ahead of her. "I officially disown you."

"You can't disown friends," Felicity argued.

" _Watch me!_ "

Chuckling, Felicity hurried her steps and wrapped an arm around Thea's shoulders. "Come on, I'll buy you a coffee to make up for it."

Thea tipped her head back. "Fine… I guess."

As they turned into the coffee shop, Thea brightened up and hurried to the glass case of baked goods. "Hey, 'City, they have those pumpkin spice muffins you like," she told her.

Felicity's smile wavered a little, but she shook it off. "What else do they have?" she wondered, joining her by the case.

It wasn't long before they were ordering something to eat and coffees each, and thus began their Saturday routine of brunch and chit-chat.

* * *

Later that afternoon, after dropping Thea back off at the house, Felicity made her way home. She'd planned on stopping in at QC and seeing if there was anything she could get ahead on, but she'd left it in Patricia's capable hands and was taking a weekend to herself. She'd spent far too much of her time bogged down with work, and yes, sure, it got her this far, but she felt like she was due for some time to herself. Besides, she'd been expecting to be a lot more tired after Oliver's welcome back party. Usually when Tommy threw a party, she could expect a massive hangover. This time, thankfully, that was not the case. Yes, she was still a little mentally exhausted, but she could deal with that.

Kicking off her flats, she decided to tidy up her apartment and get some laundry done. Putting in a load, she turned on some music and started with her fridge. Given she spent so much time at work, it wasn't too surprising that a lot of the groceries she bought tended to go to waste. So she wasn't surprised to find most of the shelves wearing boxes of old take-out, all of which were tossed after a few too many sniffs of the often sour contents. When she was finished with her fridge, she did a general clean up, putting things back where they were supposed to be, dusted off her entertainment stand and bookshelves, and then swept and mopped her floors. She wasn't sure if having all hardwoods was a blessing or not, but that awful noise vacuums made did tend to freak her out…

By the time her apartment was done and her laundry was finished, she was pooped. Sprawling out on her couch, she settled in to watch a few shows, and fell asleep halfway through the first episode. It wasn't until her phone started blaring at her to wake up that she startled up on her couch.

"Hello?"

"Buzz me in, I've got Chinese," Tommy answered.

Felicity rolled her eyes but pushed the button to let him in. She made her way into the kitchen to get them something to drink before returning to the living room. She was pouring them each a glass of wine when she heard his key in the lock and watched it swing open.

He grinned at her as he walked in, kicking the door closed the way she always told him not to. Toeing his shoes off, he walked over and dropped the brown bag of Chinese take-out on the coffee table before falling into his seat on the couch beside her. He clapped his hands happily. " _I_ … am starving. How about you?"

"Well, five minutes ago I was sleeping, so I don't know what I am."

He leaned over and sniffed her before frowning. "You smell like Pinesol."

"Floors," she explained, shrugging before she reached over to open the bag, passing him a box of moo shu pork and a set of chopsticks. Taking a box of chicken fried rice for herself, she drew her legs up onto the couch, crossing them as she leaned back and dug into her food. "So? What brings you over?"

"I can't stop by with dinner just for the hell of it?"

She tipped her head, staring at him curiously. "Spill, Merlyn."

He sighed, staring down into his box, picking around with his chopsticks. "Last night, at the club… When Lance mentioned Sara…"

She glanced away but nodded. "Yeah."

"I don't know, I got the feeling something was wrong…" He turned to look at her searchingly. "Maybe between you and Ollie?"

She filled her mouth with rice to give herself some time to think, her brow furrowed.

"Look, I'm not saying you have to tell me everything that happened with you guys. It just… It looked like you were having a moment, earlier, when you went off to talk, and then Lance showed up and it looked like all of that… derailed. So…"

Swallowing, she nodded. "Okay, so let me ask you something first."

"Sure."

"Are you asking me this because you've picked up the mantle of wingman for Oliver again, or are you asking because you want to know where I'm at with this?" She stared at him searchingly. "Because if you're doing this to help him out, because he asked you, or—"

"He didn't ask me," he interrupted.

She raised an eyebrow.

"He didn't!" He held a hand up in surrender and put his moo shu pork on the table. "Felicity, honestly… Yes, Oliver talked to me about you, and yes, I think he's serious about trying to fix things or make things rights, but I'm not here to talk him up to you or change your mind. Honestly." He turned in his seat to properly face her. "Hey, we've been friends for five years, okay? I'm just as much your wingman as I am his."

Her lips twitched.

He pointed, grinning with victory. "I saw that! That means you forgive me."

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up." She reached over to shove his shoulder. "I just…" Her eyes fell. "I just forgot for a second, I guess."

"Forgot what?"

She inhaled deeply and let it out on a sigh. "That Oliver and I don't work together." She shook her head. "As friends, sure, but… No. It just… It won't work." She offered a faint smile. "And last night just reminded me of that."

"Because of Sara," he said quietly, sobering quickly.

"No… I mean, well… Yes, in a way, I guess. Sara's a part of it. But… I don't know. I guess I just needed that reminder that we did try, we were going to try, but he… He broke his promise before he even left port, and I can't… I can't forget that."

"Felicity—"

"It's okay." She smiled at him, more genuinely then. "Honestly, Tommy, we're going to be fine. Me, you, Thea, we're always going to be friends, and Oliver will become a part of that. And after a while, you know, things will just find their groove, right?" She nodded, digging her chopsticks into her rice once more. "We can be friends and it'll be great."

"Yeah," he said, though he didn't look too convinced.

As he reached for his moo shu pork, his cell started to vibrate from inside his pocket. Pulling it out, he thumbed through the screen and then stifled a smile before he put away his phone. "Hey, uh, I know it's early and we haven't had much of a chance to eat this, but… I need to head out."

"To meet Mystery Girl, you mean?"

He stilled, looking over at her in surprise. "What?"

She looked amused, quirking her head. "Tommy, come on, I know you're seeing someone…"

"What? No, I…" He shook his head. "It's not…"

"Do you remember last weekend, you had those twins over?"

"I'm not sure it's something I'll ever forget," he said, his confidence returning.

"Uh-huh, and do you remember what happened after your night of debauchery with them?" she asked, waving her hands around animatedly.

"A very unsympathetic hangover?"

She rolled her eyes. "No… I mean after they left."

"I took a nap."

"Tommy," she sighed, reaching up to rub her temple. "You came over,  _woke me up_ , and then decided to regale me with the details over breakfast."

"Oh yeah," he remembered, grinning.

"Yes, every dirty, explicit detail."

"Well," he argued, "not  _every_  detail. I do like to leave some of it up to your imagination."

"My  _point_ is that when you're casual with someone, you don't mind telling me about very memorable birth marks in places I don't need to know about on people I hope to never meet. But this woman, whoever she is, you haven't given me one detail about…  _So?_ " She stared at him, her brows hiked. "Ergo, you have a secret girlfriend… Or girl- _fling_ , since I'm not sure you'd have met up with the twins if it was that serious. But she's definitely different somehow, or you wouldn't be keeping the details from me." She scrunched up her nose. "Not that I particularly  _want_ the details, but it's something you've always done, so…"

"Okay, all right, so it's a little different, but… we're figuring it out. She's not really… sure she wants to be in a relationship. She's dealing with some things, and I have things going on, and it's just… it's very…  _thingy_."

Felicity bit her lip to keep from smiling. "Okay… Things are thingy." She pointed at him. "But when things get less thingy and more serious, you need to tell me." She blinked rapidly. "Not—Not the detailed sex stuff. I'm fine without that. Just the… who she is and what she means to you…  _stuff_."

He grinned and stood from his place on the couch. Bending, he kissed the top of her head and winked. "I'll tell you both," he assured, before turning on his heel to walk away. He waved at the table of food. "You've got this, right?"

"Oh, sure, I just cleaned my fridge out of old, moldy take-out, plenty of space to fill," she said as she waved a hand at him.

He chuckled under his breath. "We'll get lunch together, okay? Love you!" He waved as he closed the door behind him, locking it before he left.

Felicity rolled her eyes and then chuckled to herself. She grabbed up her box of fried rice and settled back in the corner of her couch. Finding her remote, she restarted the episode of Merlin she'd been watching and settled in for a nice, relaxing night, pushing all thoughts of work, Tommy's secret girlfriend, and the uncertainty of where things were at with Oliver to the back of her mind.

She would end up falling asleep just as the episode was ending, and when she woke up hours later, she'd wonder when she managed to put away the food, set her house alarm, and tuck a blanket in around herself. Deciding she must've just been too tired to remember any of it, she brushed it off.

When Oliver finished his patrol that night, he'd still remember how when he slipped her glasses off to put on the table, she turned into the palm of his gloved hand and muttered something about pumpkin spice muffins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to update my medieval!AU but I've found myself working mostly on this story, so the other one's kind of half-finished and desperate for my attention. But I wanted to put this out, and since I felt bad for the total angst-fest of the last oneshot I put up (which, if you haven't read, you should!), I thought this might cheer some of you up... even though Felicity's having a total crisis about her feelings for Oliver. Don't worry, they talk about Sara next chapter. ;)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, please leave a review! I'd love to know what you guys think of everything, especially Felicity's friendship with Thea, 'cause honestly, it is so, so much fun to write. It's got me really excited to update the middle part of this series, where Felicity and Thea are first becoming friends. So I hope you guys are eager to read that as well.
> 
> So yeah, let me know what you think!
> 
> \- **Lee | Fina**


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Polyvore** : [Felicity's outfit #1](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_6a/set?id=109209855), [Felicity's outfit #2](http://www.polyvore.com/felicity_6b/set?id=111026040)

**VI.**

"You're avoiding me."

Felicity went still, standing in front of her desk, going through a folder of papers. Her shoulders tensed as she turned around to face him. "'Avoid' is a…  _strong_ word."

"I've tried setting up a lunch with your assistant three days in a row, but he said you were in meetings all week and I should try next month." His lips twitched in a smile, but she could tell it wasn't happy. "I don't know what to call that other than avoidance."

She crossed her arms over her stomach and shrugged. "I'd call it busy."

He stared at her searchingly. "On Friday, at the party, I…  _thought_  that we were reconnecting."

"We did." She shook her head. "And now it's Wednesday and I have work, so…" She turned back around to face her desk, but she didn't hear his footsteps leaving.

Instead, far quieter than anybody should be, he managed to get close enough to press a hand to her elbow, asking her silently to face him.

Blowing out a sigh, she turned, finding him at her side, staring down at her searchingly. His fingers were still on her elbow, or they were until she turned, and then they dragged down the underside of her forearm so lightly, so slowly, that she felt a shiver spread through her body that finished with a catch in her throat. She swallowed it down and looked up at him, trying to maintain the aloof façade she'd practiced all weekend.

"Please don't shut me out," he asked sincerely.

And just like that, she felt a crack in the wall she'd erected. Her gaze fell for a moment, though when it settled on his mouth she quickly looked away.

"Can we go somewhere? It's your lunch break now, isn't it?" He tipped his head a little, a tinge of amusement lacing his expression. "Unless you have a meeting?"

She bit the inside of her bottom lip when a smile threatened to break out. "Yes, it's my lunch, and no, I don't have a meeting." She looked back at him. "This can't become a habit."

"I prefer the term 'tradition.'"

She shook her head slightly and licked her lips, but that only drew his gaze down and the intensity of it made her stomach tighten. Taking a step back from him, she moved to gather her jacket. "Where were you thinking?"

"I'm still relearning the city. A lot has changed. So where would you like to go?" He shook his head. "Anywhere in the city?"

She grinned slowly. "Anywhere?"

He nodded.

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting on a bench in Starling Park, eating hot dogs from a vendor named Lou.

He shook his head at all the toppings she'd dressed hers in. "How are you even going to eat that?" he wondered, amused.

"I've fit bigger things than this in my mouth." She paused. "That didn't come out right."

He folded his lips to hide his smile but a choked laugh slipped out anyway. At her glare, he waved a hand. "I'm sorry."

She elbowed him before leaning back against the bench and taking a bite off the end of her hotdog, covered in mustard, ketchup, relish, sautéed onions, and sauerkraut. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye as she bit off a larger chunk without any sense of modesty. He grinned as he bit into his own much more conservative hot dog, wearing only ketchup and a thin strip of mustard. Felicity was happy to devour her lunch, her cheeks puffed out as she chewed.

The park was busy with people, some walking, others skateboarding or roller blading. A few people were walking dogs, all eager to sniff everyone they walked past. There was a man playing guitar across the way from them, his case out to collect money, and a mime entertaining a few tourists in another part of the open square. There was a large fountain sitting in the center, full of coins and wishes, and dressed with a few birds walking around its edges, searching for scraps of food or shiny wrappers to peck at.

"So, why here?" Oliver wondered, balling up his napkin and wiping it over his mouth.

"Because I know you, and if you had your way, we'd be at some fancy restaurant where they don't put the cost on the menu and the staff would all stumble over themselves to please you…" She shrugged. "I see it all the time with Tommy and it's… unnecessary. I mean, sure, sometimes it's nice going to the front of the line instead of having to wait, but sometimes it's better to just be anonymous."

"So it doesn't impress you?"

"Technology impresses me." She licked her thumb of a dab of relish. "Two of my best friends are billionaires. You forget to be impressed when you see them with bedhead and remember they're just people. And everyone fawning over them, that's not impressive, it's just a barrier after a while."

He hummed, watching her thoughtfully for a moment.

Swallowing down a bite, she looked around uncertainly. "What?" She reached for her mouth. "Do I have something…?"

He reached for her and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip, staring into her eyes with the kind of intensity that she couldn't help but think was not often connected to park hot dogs. Her tongue automatically slipped out to help, accidentally meeting the swipe of his thumb, and she felt a hitch in her throat.

"Got it," he said, drawing his hand band. He turned to face the park once more but Felicity hesitated, still staring at his profile. "This is the first time I've convinced you to leave the office with me for lunch," he said, half-smiling.

"Well, don't get used to it," she told him, mimicking his position as she returned her attention to the bustling activity of the park.

"I like our lunches, Felicity… I like spending time with you." There was a pause before he continued, "I know you need time, and I know we still have a lot to talk about, things that are bothering you about… before. And I'm willing to talk about them, whenever you're ready."

"You sound like you think you're going to change my mind about those things." She frowned. "I'm not sure there's anything you could say that would."

He sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Everything that happened with you, all that time I spent trying to get to know you, to convince you to date me, I don't regret that…" He shook his head. "There were days on that island that remembering you and how you always put me in my place, it got me through. Days when I was tired and I didn't want to fight anymore, and I'd remember what you said once, about how there's always a chance, that help could show up the next day and I wouldn't be there for it…"

One of his hands balled up into a fist, his forefinger scraping at the edge of his thumb anxiously. "When I left, when I got on that yacht, I was a different person. I… I told myself that if I could just… If I made just one last mistake, just one last party, one last girl, then when I got back, I'd be what I should be. I'd be who my parents wanted and who you deserved and I'd be the person that I could see myself being when I was with you. Because…" He let out a heavy breath. "Because I did see that. I know I didn't show it, and I know you don't think I took it seriously, but I saw myself being happy with you. I saw a real life. I just… I wasn't ready. I didn't know how to be that, and I was scared that if I tried, I wouldn't be able to." He dragged a hand down his face and smiled bitterly. "I've always been good at disappointing people. I screw up, I apologize, and life goes on. That's what I was expecting."

She was quiet, staring at him, trying to take in everything he'd said. It felt like a flood of words and they were all just rattling around in her head, needing time to be processed.

"And then you were there… And you were smiling and you were telling me that all I had to do was stay out of trouble and that life that I wanted was going to happen. And I wanted to take it back. I wanted to go back to the night before and tell Tommy I couldn't go out. I—I had to be up early and having a hang-over wasn't going to help. But I couldn't. I already made that mistake. So I told myself I'd fix it later. I'd come back and I'd show you that I was different now. I was ready now."

He swallowed tightly. "But then the boat went under and I was just… I was on that life raft for  _days_ , I washed up on that island and for five years I just… I fought to survive. That person that I was, the guy that just wanted one more mistake, Felicity, he died on that boat." He sat up and turned to her, looking so earnest, so serious. "He died and the person the landed on that island, he… He won't make those mistakes. He won't take you for granted. He  _knows_  how much you matter and he won't run at the first sign of growing up or commitment."

He stared at her searchingly. "I know I need to prove that to you. I know you need time to get to know me again and to see that I'm serious. I just… I'm still learning how to be here and I might not always do or say the right thing, but I know what I want. I know that I'm ready. And I'll do whatever you need for me to show you that I'm a better man."

Felicity felt tears bite at her eyes and she quickly blinked them back. Suddenly no longer hungry, she folded the wrapper around her hot dog and tossed it into the garbage can nearby. Standing from the bench, she hauled her purse up onto her shoulder and stepped in front of him. "Oliver, I already thought you were a good man. I didn't want to change you then, and I don't want to change you now… We didn't fit. We didn't want the same things. You thought you were ready and you were wrong. You got scared and you ran and you didn't get a chance to clean up afterwards." She shook her head. "And I get that you're different now, I get that you went through a lot, there's no way you didn't after five years on that island, but… You're right, you're getting used to being back, and maybe you had an idea of what life would be like when you were gone that you're trying really hard to make happen now. But until you're settled here, you don't know what you really want. You know what you wanted when you were stranded on the island with nobody else around you but the people you missed." She reached out, her hand cupping his cheek, and let her thumb rub back and forth. "I won't be the girl waving you away from port forever. You're going to get used to life here and you're going to figure out who you want to be and what you want to do, and that might not include me."

He opened his mouth to protest but her hand slid down, thumb pressing to his lips.

"I said 'might,'" she told him, her brows hiked meaningfully. "Whatever happens, I'll be here for you… As a friend." Her thumb rested on his chin. "Just don't make promises, okay? Because I'm still working through the last one you broke."

His eyes closed, a muscle in his jaw ticking, but he nodded.

"Good." She smiled then and bent to kiss his cheek. "Thank you for lunch." As she stepped back, she offered, "You can talk to Rudy about setting up something for lunch tomorrow if you want. I have it on good authority that I won't have any meetings…"

He swallowed thickly and offered a smile, but it was small and uncertain.

"You're not losing me," she told him.

His smile turned sad then. "I'm not sure I ever really had you."

A lump formed in her throat. "I don't know… Maybe for a minute, when we talked about souvenirs… I felt like you had me then."

He stared up at her, blinking a few times against the sheen in his eyes. "I'm not giving up."

A faint laugh escaped her. "You wouldn't be you if you did." With that, she turned on her heel and walked away.

Funny, she thought she'd been shutting the door on something, but she felt more like she opened one.

* * *

Oliver took his frustration out in the foundry, spending hours on the salmon ladder and breaking the arms off of wooden dummies. He worked up a sweat so thick it sprayed off of him as he trained, ducking and attacking an invisible opponent. When he was finally finished, he fell back to the mats, panting, his fists pressed up against his forehead, his teeth gritted.

It'd been stupid to think that he would just explain everything and she would forgive him. The old Oliver relied on that same logic and it hadn't done him the right kind of favors. Some part of him even respected her more for not just accepting that it was the past and moving on. He'd made promises to her, he'd convinced her that she mattered to him and then he spat in the face of that. It had to be hard for her to trust him in any capacity, let alone to invite him back into her life. She had every right to be upset with him. He just wished it was different. He wished this one thing could be easier than all the rest.

He could still feel her hand on his cheek, her thumb on his lip, and he missed it. He missed her touch. He missed her smile and her laugh and the way he felt when he was with her. Not like the old Oliver, but like this version of himself could be at peace with her. He'd already told her more about his time away than he had anybody else. Yes, it wasn't a whole lot of detail, but when he'd opened the door to that, to all those days spent adrift in the life raft, he almost felt like he could tell her more. He could tell her about the island and the terrors he'd faced there.

But would she look at him the same?

Would she pity him or be disgusted with what he had to do to survive?

She understood he changed, she understood that he couldn't be the same person as before, but she had liked him then. Even if he made a lot of mistakes and never quite fit the image of what she wanted in her life. So how could she like this version of him when he was nothing like that? How could she like a man who killed people? Who hunted down people and put arrows in them to make them pay for their sins?

She couldn't.

And even without knowing that, some part of her had to know that. She was protecting herself. She was keeping him at a distance because, somehow, she knew he was not who she needed in her life.

His brow furrowed so tightly it hurt and his hands unfurled to slide down, fingers pressing against his eyes.

" _You wouldn't be you if you did_."

He sat up, scrubbed his face and shook his head.

He could be a better man.

He wouldn't stop trying until he was.

* * *

The following morning, Oliver woke up with a headache. He wasn't sleeping well. Not a surprise; nightmares had plagued him for five years and, home or on the island, that wasn't changing.

A knock at his door had him shouting for whomever to come is as he tucked an arm behind his head, lifting him up to see.

Thea walked into his room smiling. She was dressed in her school uniform, her hair falling in curls around her shoulders. "Hey," she said, walking toward him. "So I was thinking, if you wanted to take the day off, spend a little time catching up, I wouldn't say no to playing hooky."

A faint laugh escaped him and he sat up. "Sure. Why not?"

As he tossed away the blanket and climbed from his bed, something fell to floor.

Thea's eyes immediately followed it and, before he could kick it out of view, she was already there, picking it up. She really did live up to her old nickname.

Holding up the faded piece of wood, she rubbed her thumb over it curiously. "What is this?"

"It's nothing." He reached for it, but she held it out of reach.

"Really? Because it looks like a key chain." She squinted at the writing. "What's it say?"

He sighed, his hands on his hips. "I picked it up out of one of the souvenir shops when we were in port before…"

She went still, staring down at it a long moment, and then looked up at him. "Before the boat went down. You picked up a keychain for someone. But… Why hold onto it?" She shook her head. "I mean, sentimental value? Your own personal Wilson? What?"

He swallowed tightly. "It was a gift… And as long as I had it, I knew I still had a chance of getting home."

Her face softened. "Oh, Ollie…" she sighed.

His feet shifted as he held a hand out for it.

She took one last look at the worn down edges and then put it in his hand.

He quickly put it in his bedside table and then put on a forced grin. "I'll shower and get dressed. We can get breakfast while we're out, okay?"

She nodded, but her eyes kept drifting back to the bedside table. "Sure." She turned on her heel and started back for the door.

Oliver let out a heavy sigh as soon as the door closed and made his way into the bathroom. He hoped, for the first time in her life, Thea would just let it go.

* * *

"Wait, so he said he was ready for a commitment?" Tommy asked, from where he sat at her kitchen table, a cup of coffee in his hands.

Felicity, meanwhile, was hurrying around, trying to finish getting ready for work. "Well, he said, ' _He_ 's ready for commitment.' It was kind of a third-person kind of thing, but he meant the Oliver that was back from the island. He… I guess he feels like the old him died when the boat went down."

Tommy hummed, sipping his coffee. "You know how big this is, right?"

She rolled her eyes, digging through her shoes for the black boots she liked. "I know that I'm going to be late for work and you're not helping."

"Felicity, you know shoes aren't my thing. Now if there was a particular piece of lingerie you needed help picking out, I'm your guy. I've seen enough of it to know what works." He hid his grin behind his coffee mug.

" _Aha!_ " She fist-pumped when she found the boots she wanted and quickly put them on. Hurrying into her kitchen once more, she dug around for a Poptart. She wouldn't have time to stop at her favorite coffee shop this morning.

"You can't avoid it," Tommy told her, watching as she put her breakfast in the toaster and then checked her purse to make sure she had everything. "This is just like when he met you. Do you remember how stubborn he was? Nine months and he was in your office, every lunch break. The man is tenacious. He doesn't give up."

 _I'm not giving up_.

She paused and offered a brittle smile. "He wouldn't be Oliver if he did."

Tommy's smile dipped. "Felicity…" He reached a hand out and, though she sighed, she crossed the space between them and took it. "I just want you to be happy."

"And you think Oliver will make me happy?" she asked, genuinely curious about his reply.

He stared up at her. "I think the Oliver I used to know was head over heels for you. And it was a first for him, so he didn't know what to do. Which makes it no surprise that he screwed it up."

"And now?"

"Now I think he's still head over heels for you, and he's a lot more serious about it. He knows he screwed up and he's trying to fix it."

She shook her head. "What if he can't?"

Tommy frowned. "I don't know." He lifted a shoulder. "Honestly, I think if you told him flat out that you were done with him and you didn't want him to fix things, he'd listen."

"You  _just_ said he was stubborn and wouldn't give up!"

"Yes, but that's because I think he thinks you're still leaving that option there… and I think you are."

Felicity bit her lip. "I shouldn't have to spell it out for him."

"You're right, you shouldn't, but what  _exactly_  are you trying to spell? Because sometimes I think you're done with him, and other days, I don't know, the way you talk about him…"

She sighed, lifting her free hand to her face. "I don't know. I don't know what I want. I thought when he came back that it would be so cut and dry. I… I didn't even think he'd remember me. And now…"

He squeezed her hand. "Do whatever you think will make you happy, and I'll support you."

She smiled at him softly before leaning down to wrap him in a hug. "You're a good friend, Tommy."

He rubbed her back. "You're right. I deserve a plaque or a small trophy."

Rolling her eyes, she let him go and walked to her toaster just as it popped. Wrapping her poptarts in paper towel so they wouldn't burn her hand, she hitched her bag onto her shoulder and looked down at him. "I have to get to work. But you and me, tonight, we're going to that movie, okay?"

"Promise."

"And no town car," she ordered as she crossed her apartment to her door. "We'll take my car."

"Spoilsport."

" _Tommy_."

"All right, all right, we'll take your car."

"Thank you." She waved a kiss back at him as she walked out. "Be good!"

"Yes, mom!"

Just another average work morning, she thought to herself with a smile.

* * *

"Okay, I can't take it anymore. Who was the keychain for?" Thea folded her hands atop each other on the table and leaned in eagerly. "I mean, it has to mean something, right? You held onto it for  _five_  years. Shouldn't you give it to the person you originally bought it for?"

Oliver cleared his throat, staring down at the mostly untouched spinach and cheese omelette on his plate. "So what do you have planned for after breakfast?" he asked, offering a stilted smile. "We could go down to the batting cages. You know I remember when you were little, you used to beg me to show you how to play baseball… You came to all of my little league games. You were the loudest person cheering." He laughed. "You had a serious set of lungs."

"Yes, and I'm going to use them if you keep dodging the question." She stared up at him, her eyes wide. "Ollie, come on… I know you don't like talking about the island, but… Can't you just tell me this?"

He licked his lips as he turned his head away. "There was a woman before the island… Someone I cared about…  _a lot_. In fact, she was the main reason I even went on that trip with dad." He nodded. "I was planning on turning my life around and… cleaning up my act."

"Because of this girl?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

"Because…" He sighed, shaking his head. "For the first time in my life, I wanted to be more than just who I was. I wanted to try. And it wasn't because she told me I should or that I had to. She accepted me for who I was, she just… She thought we were too different to work. And I…" He smiled, but it was devoid of joy. "I really liked her… I wanted her to like me, too. I wanted to be enough for her. So I decided that I would be. And I asked dad if I could go with him for the deal."

"Did you tell her?" Thea wondered.

"I did. I asked her to say goodbye to me on the dock and I promised her I would stay out of trouble and I'd prove to her that I was worth a chance. And she told me…" He let out a shaky breath. "She told me I would get a date if I just brought her home a keychain… So after we left, we stopped in a port just before the storm hit, and I saw this souvenir shop. And they had a wall of just keychains. And there was one, it was cheesy; it just said, 'I'm not me without coffee.' But it fit… We met over a broken coffee pot."

"Oh, Ollie…" She eyed him momentarily before saying, "It was for Felicity."

He offered a wan smile. "I keep forgetting you two are friends."

Reaching across the table, she squeezed his forearm. "And you sleep with it, every night…"

"It grounds me," he said, shrugging.

"You have to tell her!"

"I've already talked to her. She's… She doesn't trust me. She has no reason to. And she doesn't believe that my feelings are genuine; she thinks it's just a product of being isolated for so long…" He laughed humorlessly. "It took me nine months to convince her I was serious last time. And I didn't have the fact that I ran off on her with a complete stranger after promising her I was going to change."

Thea smiled sympathetically. "You really care about her, don't you?"

"I promised myself when I was on that island that I'd do everything I could to get back to her and show her I was different… and I will. But she's not ready to believe that. She's not ready to hear about the keychain."

While Thea didn't look like she agreed, she did nod. "Okay. If you think you should wait, you should." She shrugged. "Just… make sure you don't wait too long."

"Trust me… I'm working on it."

She smiled. "Good." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Because the sooner I get a sister-in-law, the sooner I get to be cool Aunty Thea."

Oliver choked a little, which only made her laugh. And, while it was at his expense, he couldn't help but appreciate it.

* * *

They met for lunch every day for the next three days.

Felicity thought he might using it to re-learn the best restaurants in Starling since he always had something new with him. And, admittedly, he might be winning bonus points for always bringing extra for Rudy.

"Thai this time? Good choice," she said, as she hung up her phone and eyed the bag he put down on the edge of her table.

"I made sure they knew about your peanut allergy, so I think it'll be fine."

"Well, if it isn't and I panic, I've got an epi pen in my purse and a back-up on the book shelf."

"Really?" He cast his eyes toward the huge shelving unit. "Could you be more specific?"

With a laugh, she stood from her desk and circled it, curving a finger to ask him to follow as she made her way to the center shelf and pointed to a long, wooden box in the middle, and took off the top to show him the epi pen lying on a bed of red satin inside. It was placed directly in front of the complete works of William Shakespeare.

"Tommy actually gave me this as a gift, which is why it's completely over the top."

"A gift?"

With a fond smile, she explained, "It was 'Treat Your Friend Tuesday.'"

He quirked an eyebrow curiously.

"When we first started spending time together, he had this habit of buying me things." She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "We went shopping with Thea once and he literally bought everything I showed any interest in… Anyway, I talked to him and told him that it was unnecessary and I didn't need him to buy me things. So he agreed to cut his spending down to holidays and birthdays, but… Well, he's Tommy, so he enacted this 'Treat Your Friend Tuesday' thing. Sometimes it's small things. Like he bought me this little glass figurine of a dog because I was reminiscing about the dogs we had on the farm. And this other time he got me a lighter because I have a ton of these awesome green apple scented candles all over my apartment but I can never fight matches to light them…" She shrugged. "I think my already bursting closet appreciates the reprieve."

He stared down at her a long moment, a faint quirk to his lips. "Sounds like Tommy…" he murmured before reaching up to tug on his tie.

Her eyes fell to stare at it a moment before her eyebrow quirked. "You never used to wear those. You were always about the open collar…"

He smoothed his hand down the green fabric. "Thought it might look better, visiting the family company and everything." He shrugged. "More respectable."

"Hm." She reached up and loosened the knot, tugging it down a little. "It's just me and you here, Oliver. You don't need to impress me."

He swallowed tightly, staring down at her hands, which still rested on his chest, low, over his ribs, her thumb on the fabric of his tie.

Clearing her throat, she stepped back, bumping the bookshelf. "It's a nice tie though. Green looks good on you."

His mouth twitched and he finally raised his head to look at her. "We, uh, we should eat. Food's getting cold."

"Yes! Right." She pointed at him before folding her hands together and moving toward her desk.

Just as she was about to sit, he said, "You look good in green, too."

She looked down at herself. The green dress she was wearing was splashed with orange and blue and had a triangular cu out across her upper chest. It was one of her favorites, and she'd been feeling particularly nostalgic that morning.

"Thank you," she said, sinking into her chair. "I found it in a little shop in Coast City when I was visiting Penny a few months ago. She moved there last year, so I try to visit as much as I can." Tucking her ponytail behind her shoulder, she reached for the bag of Thai food and started separating it between them. "Tommy mentioned you had a date with the courthouse tomorrow… You're having your death certificate repealed?"

He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. "I am."

She nodded, focusing on her food for a moment, before she finally asked, "And are we… nervous about that, or…?"

His mouth twitched. "We're okay."

" _Are_ we?" she wondered, eyes narrowed as she stared at him. "Because that's pretty big. I mean, the press will be there and they'll want you to tell your story, and I know you're not really ready for that. Who would be, right? I mean, you lived it, it's probably not easy hashing that all out." She shook her head. "I got lost in a supermarket when I was eight and I couldn't talk about it, or go into the Piggly Wiggly, for at least a month after." She paused, her eyes widening. "Oh my God, not that I'm comparing my three-hour childhood trauma to your five years on a deserted island…"

Oliver's eyes were soft and his smile genuine as he ducked his head, a deep chuckle leaving him. Shaking his head, he leaned back in his chair and looked at her a long moment. "Thank you."

"For what?" She tossed a hand up in dismay. "That was a terrible attempt at cheering you up."

"Yeah, it was," he agreed, nodding, "but it was genuine."

"Genuinely awful," she groaned.

He shook his head, grabbing up his fork once more and looking down at his food, a smile still etched into his lips.

"Okay, but on a serious note, if you want to talk about it or anything…" She twirled her fork. "I will try everything in my power not to undermine the seriousness of what you went through… again."

"I think I'm okay. Maybe tomorrow, after it's happened, I'll take you up on your offer."

Smiling lightly, she nodded. "Okay."

A few minutes passed before he asked, "So a Piggly Wiggly, huh?"

"Three hours!" she declared.

And thus began a much lighter conversation.

* * *

Thea was looking at her funny. She'd come over specifically so they could hang out and watch a few of their favorite shows, but so far all she'd done was stare at Felicity with a peculiar look on her face.

"Do I have something on my face?" Felicity wondered, reaching up curiously.

"Hm? Uh, no. You're fine." Thea directed her eyes back to the TV screen, where the latest episode of Pretty Little Liars was playing.

A few minutes passed before Felicity felt it again and looked over to find her staring again. She raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? What is going on with you?"

"Nothing! Sorry, I'm just… thinking about...  _something_." She shrugged, settling back in the couch.

"Thinking about what?" Felicity wondered, grabbing up the remote to hit mute as a commercial started playing. "I know you were worried about Oliver's court thing tomorrow… We talked about it earlier. He says he's okay, but I guess we'll see. Tomorrow might be different, right." She shrugged. "Anyway, I told him if he wanted to talk I was here, so…"

"You guys have been spending a lot of time together lately," Thea said, eyeing her curiously.

"Just the last few lunches. Nothing big."

"But you guys…  _talk_? You've been getting closer? Mending bridges? That kind of thing…" she prodded.

Felicity cocked her head. "Thea, what is this about?"

"Nothing, I just… I hope you know you can talk to me about things with Ollie. Like, if they change at all." She hiked her brows. "I mean, I don't need dirty details,  _ever,_ but if you want to tell your favorite person about how you and Ollie are getting closer or bonding or maybe he gave you something and it's causing you to have a lot of feelings… I'm here."

Felicity blinked at her. "I… Uh… Thank you?" she said, awkwardly.

"Sure, just know I'm here, when you want to talk, about anything… at all."

Smiling, she nodded. "Duly noted."

"Okay."

They turned back to the TV as Felicity flicked off the mute, barely a minute had passed before Thea asked, "So there's nothing? He didn't say anything? Do anything?  _Give_ you anything?"

"Lunch, Thea. He brought me lunch. And we talked, about you and Tommy and, well, pop culture, because he has a lot to catch up on." She shook her head. "What's this about, exactly?"

"Uh, nothing. Nope. Don't worry about it. I'm just… you know, trying to be supportive. Of you, and my brother, doing whatever it is you're… doing."

"Again, we are having lunch." Felicity stared at Thea, brow raised. "Anything else?"

"Nope." She turned back to the screen. "Unless  _you_  have something to share…?"

Shaking her head slowly, Felicity said, "I don't."

"Fine." Thea settled back into the couch and focused on the screen. "But you would tell me if you did, right?"

"Yes, Thea," she sighed, amused. "I would."

"Okay… Good."

"Great. Now, can we get back to the show?"

"Sure." She sat forward, smiling as she grabbed up the bowl of popcorn and dug in.

Not long after, Felicity found herself deep into the plot of show and Thea's weird behaviour finally stopped. But later, as she was lying down for bed, she couldn't help but wonder what Thea was going on about. She resolved herself to ask Oliver if he knew anything about Thea's behavior and why she seemed to think he was going to give her something. With that, she turned over in her bed and hit the light. She hated mysteries, and this was one she wanted solved as soon as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this one. I've been a little distracted with a few other stories, but I'm excited to get this out there and to share the next chapter with you. I hope you enjoyed this. The beginning finally delved into some of the issues between Felicity and Oliver. While Felicity can understand what he's saying, she's still learning to trust him and she wants to start with friendship. There will be more exploration of her feelings about what was said next chapter for anybody curious.
> 
> Thank you to everybody who reviewed last chapter. Please let me know what you all think! Looks like Thea might've said something into motion that Oliver doesn't want quite yet... ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please leave a review; they're my lifeblood!
> 
> \- **Lee | Fina**

**Author's Note:**

> So that was fun. I'm hoping you guys are as pumped for this as I am, because I'm loving how this is playing out in my head. Just so we're all clear, there is an in-between story that's going to define a lot of the main relationships, which I'll be posting along side this. It focuses a lot on Felicity and Tommy as best friends, but it also shows how she gets close to Thea and the family during the time that Oliver is on the island. It's not necessary to read it, but it will help to flesh out some of those relationships.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked this. The following chapters will be longer than this as it just kind of shows you the frame of mind each character is in as we start the story. Please leave a review, it's always really helpful to get feedback and it's incredibly encouraging for me to keep writing. Thank you ahead of time to those who do and I hope you're all looking forward to the next part!
> 
>  
> 
> **\- Lee | Fina**


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